Confusion
by Rhys1
Summary: A rather long WIP. Raditz is wished back to life with the dragonballs, and finds a confusing world of relatives and previous enemies with whom he must get along. Yaoi/slash. *chap 27 now up*
1. Prologue

Author's Note: Okay, this is kind of a monster of a fic for me, which all started with a simple idea that got way out of hand: Raditz coming back to life a few years down the road. I had a basic idea of where I wanted to go with it when I started, but these characters keep having other ideas! Needless to say, I have _no_ idea how this damn thing is going to end, but I have to have faith it will end. Somewhere. Sometime. I hope! Anyways, I hope all you folks enjoy, and I have to give huge thanks to the readers who've already R/R…I never thought anyone would think much of this piece, and it's been a huge boost to hear that not only do people like it, they want to find out what's going to happen next. You have my sincere gratitude, peeps. J 

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They're telling me what happened now, but I can't really pay attention. I'm too shocked, and too caught up in staring at my prince. He seems so much older now...I suppose from what they're telling me he _is _older. Old enough to have two children, and one of those children nearly an adult now. How long did they say it had been? Over twenty years. I had been older than Prince Vegeta when I came to this backwater planet. But when you're dead, you don't age.

He still looks so beautiful, though, standing there in those strange Earth clothes, scowling at me furiously. Such beautiful eyes, like black glass, burning holes in me. He broke my heart so long ago, now…but it doesn't seem like long at all to me. I can't really remember much about my death, or what happened after…everything is blurry. I suppose that's what happens when you've been dead awhile, though Kakarot seems to remember everything just fine. He explained to me how he died, but I can't remember the details of that, either. Can't blame that on anything but my short attention span, though. But how am I supposed to concentrate on these big issues when Prince Vegeta is standing there like some sort of earth-bound god, perfection incarnate?

A large hand waving in front of my face brings me back to reality. Sort of. I mean, maybe this is some sort of dream, it's weird enough to be. I look over at my little brother, bewilderment obvious on my battered face.

"Uh, yeah?"

Kakarot sighs, asking me carefully, "Raditz, have you heard a word I've just said?"

"Um…no?"

Prince Vegeta snarls at my brother, "I told you this was a waste of time, Kakarot. But once again, you had to let your ridiculous sentimentality get the best of you."

Kakarot just smiles guilelessly at my prince, one hand behind his head in an embarrassed gesture. "Geez, Vegeta, you know he just got wished back. We've never seen anyone dead that long get brought back. I bet you'd be confused, too. Of course, it didn't help that you pounded him a little…"

"He was attacking you, you fool! What did you expect me to do?" Vegeta turns those wonderfully intense eyes to my brother, and my heart twists painfully in my chest. Of course, they're perfect for each other.

"Well, it's not like he could hurt me. I mean, he's way below my power level…he's weaker than almost anyone we know!" Kakarot explains earnestly. It's true. Compared to these two, I'm nothing. They could both eradicate me in the blink of an eye. But when I first saw my brother standing there, all I could remember was that we had been fighting, and I saw my prince, and I wanted to show him I wasn't a failure. But of course, he just knocked me across the room, and _then_ explained that things were different now.

I sigh heavily, leaning my head into my hands as I listen to Prince Vegeta scold my brother for being so foolish as to wish me back. I gather that he felt sort of bad about killing me, and figured that if even the Prince of all Saiyans could become what he called a "good guy", then I deserved a chance. Especially since I was his brother. I think he had wanted to wish Nappa back, too, but from the way they talked, I guess Prince Vegeta vetoed that one. I'm glad of that, at least. Nappa was such a pain in the ass.

Finally Kakarot turns back to me, and says brightly, "So you'll be living with me now! Now that Gohan's got his own place with Videl, his room is free, and you can stay there. I'm sure Chichi won't mind."

Prince Vegeta just snorts. I guess he doesn't think much of Kakarot's wife, but then she would be competition, I suppose. I wonder if my brother even knows Vegeta has the hots for him. Looking into his clueless black eyes, so different from mine, I'm sure he doesn't. How can we even be brothers? I want to just take off, fly away from here, never come back. But where would I go? My people have been dead a long time, and now Frieza is, too. I have no space pod, and it seems like Kakarot's dog could probably take me out in a fair fight. Besides, my prince is here. Even if he didn't want me back, I should stay near. Father wouldn't want me to run away.

"Alright, Kakarot," I say meekly. I'm still so confused…

"And we'll have to get you some clothes. That armor is kinda…well, it draws an awful lot of attention. You're a little big for my stuff, but I'm sure Gohan can pick something up for you in town, and bring it in when he comes over for dinner tonight."

Dinner. With my family. My brother, and my sister-in-law, and my nephews. How strange. I never thought I would have a family, not after Vegeta-sei was wiped out. I feel completely fucked up, my face still hurts from Prince Vegeta's foot, and I have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, now. But I have a family. Maybe I can manage this. And I bet I can get Kakarot to teach me a few new tricks.


	2. One

I lay my armor out neatly, staring down at it almost mournfully. But Prince Vegeta no longer wore it, and neither did Kakarot. I look at the clothes my nephew brought me curiously. He had explained to me where they all went, but it was pretty self-explanatory. Humanoid clothes are humanoid clothes, no matter where you go. The boxer shorts are the most confusing to me…why would anyone want to wear a smaller pair of pants under their regular pants? Gohan had flushed an alarming shade of red when I asked him, and had blurted out something about decency. It's strange thinking this stammering, uptight young man is my nephew, the howling little boy I had kidnapped upon my arrival here. I couldn't see his power level without my scouter, but I'm sure he's enormously strong; Kakarot had said so, and I believe my brother. His face would make him the most terrible liar.

So I put on the shorts, then pull the jeans over them. I like the jeans, they fit snugly without being too tight, and they're a rather charming shade of blue, like the morning sky here on Earth. Even in the short time I was here before dying, I appreciated the natural beauty of this place. It's what I imagined Vegeta-sei looked like in the days of our ancestors. Unfortunately, though, these pants don't leave room for my tail, so I poke my head out the door, looking for someone. Ah, there's Kakarot's wife.

"Chichi, do you have a knife I could use to cut a hole in these pants?" I asked, holding up said item of clothing. She just looks at me and splutters. I can see a darkness growing in her face, and I'm sure she's about to holler something at me…I saw her do it to my brother already. And if she can push _him _around, she must be pretty damn strong.

"Never mind!" I get out, ducking back into my room.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" I hear her roaring out in the hall, and I wince. I hope she's not going to come in here and beat on me. I've had enough of that for today. When the door opens, I drop into a ready crouch, thinking I'll at least go down fighting. But it's only Gohan, looking a bit flustered.

"Look, uh, normally people don't run around without their clothes on around here," he begins, and I can see he's as nervous of his mother as I am.

"I am wearing clothes," I respond reasonably, pointing to the stupid shorts. "And besides, she's family."

"Well, those are underclothes, and they're almost as bad as going around naked. And my mom…well, she's a little touchy about that stuff. Look, what did you need?" Gohan sighs, and I wince again, only internally this time. I feel like a stupid child, and the urge to run strongly washes over me again. No, I am not going to be weak here! If I can't be physically strong, then damn it, I sure as hell am going to use a little will power! How difficult can this be?

"Just a knife. To cut a hole in these pants…for my tail," I explain, unwrapping and waving said tail behind me. Gohan blinks in surprise, before a strange, blank look washes over his features. He keeps staring at my tail, like it's some alien thing, and his lips are slightly parted…

"Gohan!" I snap, embarrassed by his staring. I know none of the Saiyans on Earth have tails anymore, but it's not like I'm some sort of freak! He yanks his gaze away, and looks up at me.

"Oh, a knife! Um, scissors might be better for that…here, let me look in the desk…" He begins rummaging through the desk that I guess I'm borrowing, and comes up with a pair of blades. He takes the pants from me and cuts a neat hole in the back. I suppress a growl…how old does he think I am, anyways? Like I can't use a pair of scissors! Stupid pup…and then I stop. He's only a few years younger than me, now…I sigh, and flop onto the bed. How am I ever going to get used to all this?

"Raditz?" he asks hesitantly, and I open my eyes to look at him.

"Yeah, Gohan?"

"Are you…are you okay?" He seems almost scared of me. Then again, I was a part of a rather traumatic memory of his childhood. But how could he be frightened now? I'm a gnat, a flea to him.

"It's just a lot to take in, kid. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. If you say so. If you need anything…well, just let me know, okay?"

I'm strangely touched by the gesture...how un-Saiyan these Earth people are! I can't get used to it…but I'm grateful. If this was Vegeta-sei…well, they'd have never wished me back in the first place, but if they had, they sure wouldn't treat me like this!

"Thanks, Gohan, I will." He smiles at me, and I can see the child I knew briefly so many years ago. As he leaves, I pull on the pants. The hole is perfectly placed, and I slide the dark pelt of my tail out comfortably. The shirt is easy, a short sleeved cotton thing Kakarot called a t-shirt. It's red, and plain, and very comfortable. A bit tight fitting across the shoulders and chest, but not too bad. Kakarot says Gohan had a hard time finding anything in my size. I'm even bigger than my brother, and I gather he's large for an Earthling.

No shoes. Gohan said you can't really buy shoes for someone else without knowing their size, and besides, you don't wear shoes indoors here. I look at myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door, and cock my head to the side. With my tail wrapped neatly around my waist, I could almost pass for an Earthling. Then again, I haven't seen any of them with hair like mine.

And Chichi told me I had better brush it. You'd think she'd know after all those years living with Kakarot...you can't tame Saiyan hair. But she seemed personally offended by the state of mine, and seemed to think that brushing was somehow going to correct it. Well, I would try, anyways. I pick up the sturdy wood brush and begin to pull it through my long black mane. My one pride and joy, and my only concession to vanity. Prince Vegeta used to love to bury his face in it when we...

I cut off that train of thought as fast as I can. As pleasant as the beginning of that road was, it only ended in pain. I'm trying to start a new life, now, and my prince made it very clear he did not want to be a part of it. Sighing, I run the brush in long strokes, but when your hair falls past your ass, it's hard to do all at once. I do the best I can with the little brush, but it looks pretty much the same as when I started. I hope Chichi doesn't get too ticked off.

Exiting the room, I venture downstairs, to be greeted by the delightful smells of cooking. So here's reason number two why my brother married the wild woman...before I can find the kitchen to investigate, the front door opens and a young man stamped clearly by the Son features comes in the door. He stops to stare at me, and I see immediately the resemblance to Kakarot...and to Father. The looks I never got, for I take after my mother in all but size. That youthful face suddenly breaks into a sunny grin that cements it...this is Goten, Kakarot's other son.

"You must be Uncle Raditz!" he exclaims, and then drops his book bag and pulls me into an enthusiastic hug. I'm too shocked to do anything for a moment, but that doesn't deter him, so I rather gingerly hug him back. I may not be able to read power levels, but the kid's obviously a real powerhouse. He pulls back, laughing.

"Wow, you look nothing like Dad! You're not still trying to kill him, are you? Oh, of course not," he answers his own question, and I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to get a word in edgewise. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here. Wow, Dad said he was going to wish you back soon, but I didn't know it was going to be today! Trunks told me, though, so here you are!"

"Trunks?" I manage to ask.

"Yeah, Trunks, my best friend! Vegeta's son...I'm sure Vegeta told you about him?" His eyes, so like his father's, take on a special shine when talking about this Trunks, and I wonder how much interfamily mingling is going on here!

"Actually, no. Kakarot mentioned that Prince Vegeta had two children...but my lord did not see fit to enlighten me further." I realize my tone is stiff and formal when talking about my prince, and I wonder if the kid notices. But he seems cheerfully unaware as he begins pulling me through the house, presumably towards the kitchen.

"Ah, you call Dad 'Kakarot'! Just like Vegeta! And you call Vegeta 'Prince Vegeta'! That's so weird!" Indeed, it is the kitchen, and a bustling Chichi greets her son with a kiss on the cheek, me with a dark scowl.

"I see you managed to figure out the mystery of _clothing_," she aims sharply my direction, and I shrug, unsure of how to respond. But Goten just laughs again, and pulls me past the kitchen, into what must be the living room, where my brother and other nephew wait.

"Raditz! They fit, good. I heard you gave Chichi a bit of a scare," Kakarot grins at me, and again I shrug.

"I didn't know anything could frighten your wife," I offer lamely. My brother throws back his head and laughs...just like Goten, who's giggling, too. But Gohan meets my eyes with surprising sympathy, and suddenly I don't feel quite as embarrassed.

"Well, Videl can't make it tonight, I guess the baby's sick," Kakarot explains when he finally catches his breath, "So it's just me and the boys and Chichi. I invited Vegeta and his family, but he said he couldn't...ah, couldn't make it." He corrects himself suddenly, and I confirm my earlier suspicions...Kakarot is a terrible liar. So Prince Vegeta doesn't want me seeing his family? Or is it that I simply make him ill to look at? My stomach clenches painfully, but I keep a poker face far better than my brother, and just nod. 

At first I think the silence is simply awkward, until I look closely at all three Sons. They're staring at something behind me, all three with identical expressions of intentness. I look over my shoulder, but I know what I'll find already, having seen that expression before. My tail had uncurled itself from my waist at my earlier discomfort, and was now slashing agitatedly through the air behind me. With a quick frown, I put it back in its place, and turn back to my family.

Goten and Kakarot speak at once: "Wow, he's got a _tail_!" and "I almost forgot..." Gohan, for his part, just looks dreamily where my tail used to be, and then brings his eyes up to mine. In them I can see a slow melancholy, and I remember that he _had_ a tail when I first came here. They must have cut it off...maybe his brother's, too. But I had never seen Kakarot with one.

My brother and his youngest son look at each other, and trade identical grins. But their smiles also hold a wistfulness, and suddenly I understand all the interest in my extra appendage. A Saiyan is not complete without his tail, and none here had one, except for me. I idly wonder if Prince Vegeta's children had been mutilated in such a way as well.

"Dinner's ready!" calls Chichi from the other room, which cut through the strange air like a knife. Kakarot and Goten immediately scramble for the door, and Gohan stands as well, though not quite as frantically. He ushers me into the dining room, and I feel my first real pang of joy since being brought back to life; the table is covered in dishes, all producing amazingly mouth watering smells.

All the Sons sit down eagerly, so I take the remaining chair, and just watch them, to figure out how they do this. Formal dinners are not something I'm accustomed to. Though maybe this dinner isn't formal...but it doesn't resemble any meals I'd had with Father. Even as a child, when my mother was still alive. Kakarot's mother lasted little longer...she was a warrior as well, but you can't fight a comet generated by a mad tyrant. I pull myself away from useless reminiscing to watch the Sons help themselves to just about everything on the table. I cautiously follow suit, earning another glare from Chichi.

"My cooking not good enough for you?" she snaps. Is this woman perpetually angry? I hastily add more onto my plate, and regret not mentioning how good everything smelled. She'd never believe me if I complimented her culinary skill now.

"Sorry," I mutter, and Kakarot chimes in good-naturedly.

"Hey, Chichi, he's never had Earth food, he probably doesn't even know what half this stuff is! You really outdid yourself tonight!"

She smiles at him, a sudden flash of genuine warmth, and I can see that she really does love him. I guess she can't help it if she's kind of bitchy. Trying to apologize around a mouthful of some sort of fish, I add "It really is good, Chichi."

She scowls at me, "Don't talk with your mouth full!" But I can see she's mollified by the way Gohan grins at me from behind his mother. I turn back to my food, not ready to brave the waters of familial interaction right now. But Kakarot and his sons are more than willing to fill up the silence with chatter. Goten explains some paper he's doing in school to his dad, who looks a little befuddled, while Gohan fills Chichi in on the latest with his daughter. So I have a grandniece, too.

After dinner, Goten, with Chichi's prompting, wants to show me family photo albums, and that's about as much as I can take. "If you don't mind, I'd like to take a walk. I'm afraid I've eaten far too much." I smile winningly at Chichi, hating myself for ingratiating myself to anyone, even my sister-in-law. But Saiyans are nothing if not adaptable, and I know I won't last long in this household if I don't have her good will. Or at least, if I don't avoid her wrath.

Kakarot nods eagerly, "Good idea! I'll come out with you, show you around a bit." I had wanted to be alone, but....

"Alright, Kakarot." He leads the way out the door, and I follow quietly. Once outside, he turns around to smile in that charming, dim-witted way of his.

"I know you probably don't want company right now," he begins, and I have to suddenly revise my opinion of his. Is his empty-headedness all an act? Or was that a good guess?

"But, if you're going to be out, I want to show you something." I listen mutely, my face revealing nothing. "You're pretty weak right now-which is something we can correct with some serious training!-and I think you should at least know who to avoid, if you run into them. So I'm going to teach you how to sense power levels, okay?"

I can't decide whether to be mortified by my little brother treating me like a child, or excited at learning something new. I decide to settle somewhere in between, and respond a bit coldly, "Well, get on with it, Kakarot."

But he just grins back. I suppose he spends a lot of time with Prince Vegeta, he must be used to much worse than a slightly frosty tone of voice. "Okay, can you sense ki?"

"A bit."

"Okay, here, take my hand, and feel what I'm doing with my ki. I'm sort of sending it out, to you, in this case, and then feeling it bounce back. It's just a little touch..." and he does it, showing me. I frown...this is so simple! I try it myself, then stagger backwards a bit as my ki comes pounding back into me.

"Not so hard," Kakarot corrects me gently. "The main skill in this is being able to judge, by how hard the ki comes back, what power level the person is." He has me try a few more times, until I can do it right. He says the rest is just practice with different people. It's so easy, I feel stupid for not figuring it out myself.

He smiles gently at me when I have it down pat. "You're doing great! You picked that up really fast!" I sigh at his condescension...fast as compared to what? One of these impossibly weak humans? As he turns to walk inside, he adds "We'll go over some more stuff tomorrow. Enjoy your walk!"  


I lean against the wall of Kakarot's little house after he leaves, just looking out into the woods that surrounds it. There's so much to take in...too much...

My thoughts are interrupted by two voices drifting out from inside the house-Kakarot and Chichi. The kitchen window is cracked a bit, and I can also hear the voices of my nephews faintly from somewhere else in the house.

"How long is he going to be here?" Chichi's voice is tight, tense.

"I don't know, hon. But he needs a place to stay, and he's my responsibility."

"You think everyone is your responsibility, Goku!"

"But Chichi, he's my brother! And I brought him back from the dead! How can he not be my responsibility?" Kakarot's voice is pleading with her, and I wince for him.

She sighs in return. "Look, I know for now he's your responsibility. But it's very obvious Raditz is a big boy, and he tried to kill you! I don't think he's a good influence on Goten."

"Chichi! He hasn't said more than two words to Goten! How can he be a bad influence?"

"He's too much like Vegeta. He doesn't know how to act right. Besides, he was your enemy last he remembers!"

"Most of my friends were my enemies at one point!"

"I know. I don't like that, either."

I push away from the wall, desperate to leave those arguing voices behind. Why couldn't my brother have left well enough alone, left me dead! I bet being dead was absolute fucking heaven compared to this! 

I can't control the rumbling growl that rises from my chest as I stamp through the dark forest, cut off from the light of the stars. Fuck! My goddamn little brother and his goddamn "good ideas"...Prince Vegeta was right. It's all useless sentimentality, that brought me to this hell where I'm as weak as a kitten and treated like a mewling babe! I can feel my anger boiling under my skin, and I have to release it. With a frustrated scream I send a ki blast through the trees, leaving a wide swath of blackened vegetation and torn up earth.

But that's not good enough. I have the fury of twenty years inside me, and no simple energy blast is going to let it out. Of course, smashing down a few trees with my fists isn't going to help much either, but it feels good to just let loose, let my flesh impact hard wood and destroy it. I wish there were faces beneath my fists, people I can crush, but somehow I doubt my brother, savior of the Earth, would allow _that_. Despite my anger, I'm not ready to die again just yet.

I slam into another tree, this time using my whole body, wishing that pain could somehow eradicate my rage and frustration. If that's all it took, I would gladly beat my head against a cliff for the next few thousand years. But it doesn't help, and the tree groans and crashes through its neighbors, landing with a splash.

A splash? I peer ahead of me, see starlight reflecting on water. I seem to have come to some sort of lake, but had been too distracted to notice. I step out into a clearing before the pebbly shore and stare up fiercely at the brilliant pinpoints pierced into the velvet of the sky. Once, perhaps, I would have been able to see my home. But I could look for centuries and never find it now. Somehow that thought alone brings the weight of my loss crashing into me, shaking my bones and blood in a terrible dance of sorrow.

I fall to my knees, and I realize I'm screaming unintelligibly, heart-broken sound ripping my throat raw and battered as I wish the rest of me was. I pound my fists into the ground, cracking the soft mud and clay. I'm shaking my head over and over, and my hair is a cloud around my face, the ends becoming thick and heavy with water and mud. Scalding tears streak divots down my cheeks and I'm still screaming, as if somehow with my voice alone I can purge myself of this.

But of course, it doesn't work. My screaming finally trails off to keening wails as I bury my hands in mud, my knees planted in the same. My head hangs heavily as my body is wracked by a storm of pain and deep despair. It seems to take hours, but finally I think I'm through, and only an emptiness remains, a soothing numbness. I pull myself to my feet shakily, noting idly that my feet are still bare, and the clothes my nephew has given me are covered in mud.

Looking out at the lake with blank eyes, I come across an idea that seems very good right now. Just walk in. Walk in to the lake. It won't kill me, but maybe I can just sit on the bottom, sit there until all the people on this pathetic planet are dead and gone, and then I can emerge, and be king of a dead place. I start to laugh as my feet carry me into the water, the chill reaching out to numb me further. King of a dead planet, just like Vegeta. I can't stop laughing.

The water's up to my knees now, and it feels so good, so perfect. It washes away all feeling, all pain, and I decide maybe I'll just be king of this lake. As the icy liquid licks seductively at my thighs, I look down, seeing tiny fish darting here and there. Some come to nibble delicately at my toes. King of these fish, too, and that gets me laughing again, positively roaring, and I throw my head back.

I'm up to mid-abdomen now, and my tail floats gently behind me in a bed of black hair. I will be the most powerful king this lake has ever known, and my first proclamation will be: "No Son shall be allowed to fish in my waters. Also, all the most beautiful fish maidens will be brought before me, and from among them, I shall choose a wife." Did I just say that aloud? I guess so...I'm surprised I could get it out around all the giggles. I let myself fall backwards into the water, and find myself somewhat disappointed when I float. The water sinks its frosty claws into my scalp, and I smile blissfully at the heavens, wondering how many other dead worlds I'm looking at.

Suddenly my serene view is interrupted by a scowling green face. A familiar scowling green face. "And my second decree shall be to have Piccolo executed at the height of the harvest festival every year. He will be torn limb from limb...from limb from limb..." I'm laughing again, looking up into that face, and I wonder why he isn't laughing, too. "Get it, Namek? From limb, from limb..." I can't control myself, it's just too damn funny, and my body curls tightly as my stomach clenches with the laughter. Suddenly I'm sinking, and thinking maybe I don't want to live at the _bottom _of the lake, and I come up, completely soaked, gasping for air, and still shaking with hilarity.

"I'll have to inform Goku that his brother has gone mad," says the green face, which, I can see now, is attached to a floating green body, hovering just inches above the lake's surface. That has me howling again, and I double over, shaking.

"Good idea, Piccolo! Kakarot can bring his harpy wife down here, and she can knock me out with a frying pan, and they can drag me back to the house. You can kill me all over again, and they can eat me for dinner!" I clasp my stomach in mirthful agony, and stagger back to shallower waters, then allow myself to fall backwards on my ass.

Piccolo continues the illusion of walking on water and steps over to me again, still frowning. He studies me with those dispassionate black eyes, so unlike a Saiyan's, and snorts. "Oh, I see what's wrong with you."

"You mean other than the pains I'm getting from having to look at your ugly face?" I respond, grinning at him in unconscious imitation of my brother.

He continues as though I never spoke. "You're still coming to terms with switching sides, so to speak. It's been awhile for me, and I had some time to deal with it. But it was heaped on you all at once. You're not the baddest of the bad anymore, not the wolf. In fact, if your brother has his way, you're going to become one of the white hats. But for you, blowing up planets for sport wasn't so long ago. Is that about it?"

"What?" I whisper suddenly, not sure how to respond. "What do you-"

"Oh, come on, Raditz," he interrupts me, waving a hand my direction dismissively. "I know you don't know this, but I was on your side of the fence once, too. It took a little boy to change me, but no matter how it comes about, you feel like you don't have any choice at first. You're going to feel that way for awhile, and maybe down the line somewhere you'll still mourn your lost wickedness." His eyes take on a dreamy expression as he looks up, to the stars. "I know I still do. But there are rewards on this side, too. You get to have friends. And people who love you." His eyes suddenly flash down on mine, and bore a hole right through my head. "People who won't use you and throw you away," he adds softly, and I'm left gaping at him. How did he know?!

He looks back at the stars, then down to one of the little streams that feeds this lake. "Let me know if you ever need to talk about it," he invites, his back turned to me. "But right now, I think you should go home. This is _my _lake, you see."

* * * * *

I can't just go home. I don't have a home anymore, and I'm still not ready to head back to Kakarot's house. But I also don't want Piccolo to be telling me any more uncomfortable truths. I've had my little breakdown for the day, maybe tomorrow I'll try again, and he can come tell me how I feel my father never really loved me. I snort to myself, skimming over the treetops. It's strangely dark up here, with no moon. The chill air isn't doing much to dry me off, and I take some pleasure in the fact that I don't shiver. I'm not completely helpless.

I fly randomly, wondering somewhere at the back of my mind if I'll ever be able to find Kakarot's house again. Oh yeah, I can sense power levels now, so just fly towards the biggest fucking ki signatures on the planet. Easy enough. Maybe if I fly around long enough, some of Kakarot's other weirdo friends will show up. Like that bald midget, or the blue haired bimbo. I alight on the top of a tree, and just stand there, wishing I could just stop thinking for awhile.

It doesn't take long for a strong ki signature to swoop in. I don't recognize it...then I see it's Gohan. Great. Doubtless Kakarot sent his son out to get me just in case I couldn't handle myself. I scowl at him as he lands on a tree across from me. "What do you want, kid?"

He doesn't say anything at first, doesn't even look at me. Just gazes out at the endless sea of trees, distance floating in his eyes. I grow impatient with his silence. "What _is _it?!" Finally he turns his head to look at me.

"You're wet," he states flatly.

"Wow, you noticed. I had a little run in with one of your lakes. What about it?" I hate how defensive my voice sounds...why should I have to explain myself to this boy? It's so easy to forget how close we are in age...I still remember that whining brat.

"Dad didn't send me." I blink suddenly. Is everyone on this fucking planet a mind reader?

"Get to the point, Gohan." I'm sick of being angry, sick of being defensive, sick of feeling insulted at everything these guys say. Now I'm just tired.

"I came looking for you, because I know how Dad and Mom can come across. Like you're a little kid, no matter what you do. It must be so strange for you, all of a sudden being a part of our family. It must be so different from what you're used to." 

"Yeah, it's different. So what? New stuff happens, you change. It's a way of life for us Saiyans, if you don't adapt, you get phased out of the gene pool," I tell him, and as I say it, I realize it's true, not just me trying to sound tough and uncaring. It's funny, but it sounds like the kid is playing on the same theme as his mentor. Maybe they share a brain. I allow myself a mirthless laugh at that. Gohan's still looking at me.

"I know that," he says softly. "I may not be full Saiyan...but life's been pretty chaotic for our family. Vegeta, too. That's got a lot to do with why we're all so strong. You're right...you change, or you die. I think you'll change, Raditz."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence-" I begin sarcastically, but he cuts me off.

"I just wanted you to know that it's more than just Mom and Dad. Me and Goten are part of your life now, too. And I'm glad Dad brought you back. Family's too precious to waste."

All I can do is stare at him. I have to stop thinking of him as the kid. He sees a lot. More than I'm comfortable with, but then, this seems to be my night for emotionally devastating revelations. So what am I going to do with this?

"Thanks." It's all I can say...I'm surprised myself how much it means to me that my nephew gives a damn. I don't care much what Kakarot thinks. Maybe because he obviously finds it so easy to love everyone. But Gohan is a different story. So his kind words strike home. It's a good note to end the night on...I just don't feel like sticking around for any more mental kicks in the head. "I'm going to head back now, kid."

He nods, and offers me a smile. Not the sunny grin of his father and brother, something almost as warm, but harder won. "Okay. Maybe later in the week you can stop in, see Videl and Pan." My grandniece, right. I find myself nodding back, and take to the air before he talks me into anything else.

"Sure," I say with a quick wave, then focus in on Kakarot's ki. I feel like I could sleep for days after all that. I sure hope Chichi's in bed...she'll flip if she sees me come in the house as wet as I am.


	3. Two

I lean over, panting heavily, as I brace my hands on my knees. My hair falls in a sweat soaked swoop to the ground. The clear air feels so good as I pull it forcefully into my lungs, but it comes with a sharp pain, too. I grin to myself, a smile that's safe, because it's hidden.

"You're not quitting, are you Raditz?" The Namek's gravelly voice cuts through my exhaustion, and I slowly stand, flipping my hair impatiently out of my face.

"Nope." I drop back into a combat stance. A month of training, and I can actually give Piccolo a bit of a challenge, but I'm still not up to these guys' level. But it's a good workout for me, and I am learning lots of new stuff. Like the fact that Krillin is a complete pushover, regardless of his power level, but his wife will kick your ass in seconds flat and call it training. Of course, I'm Saiyan, so getting beat down does increase my strength, but it's a damn painful way to go about things. Ah well, I'm nothing if not good at taking pain.

Piccolo blurs, and is suddenly behind me, but I anticipate the move and I'm already lunging back with my elbow, aimed for his abdomen. He's too quick for that, though, and already he's in front of me again, his foot connecting solidly with my jaw. Shit! Bit my own goddamn tongue! But I get a hold of his ankle, and twist my shoulders to bring him slamming into the ground. My vicious thrill of victory is short-lived, he brings me crashing down after him, and he's suddenly up, straddling my chest and giving my face a real workout with his fists. Serious pain time.

But I'm learning to ignore it, bit by bit. Piccolo is by far my favorite to train with...he doesn't go easy on you, but still, he fights in such a way that I learn from my mistakes. Sometimes all I'm learning is how to take a beating well, and keep on going, but that's a valuable lesson. Other times, I'm learning how to anticipate, how to think faster than the other person can move. And when I'm feeling particularly pissed off at how much stronger he is than me, I'm learning that he can be a real bastard when you start insinuating he's screwing Gohan. I smile up at green fists as they connect with my nose, and then turn my head to bite down hard on his wrist.

He bellows in surprise, and maybe even a bit of pain. I can taste his blood on my teeth and lips, it isn't much like human or Saiyan blood. No coppery tang, a sharper taste. Kind of like cheap wine. As I take advantage of his shock at me for using such a patently ridiculous attack, I have to laugh. I heave my chest mightily, budging him enough to slip out from underneath, and turn to bring my doubled fists down hard onto the back of his neck.

"Your blood tastes like shit, Namek," I taunt him merrily as the force of my blow staggers him onto his hands and knees. "Gohan ever complain of the way the rest of you tastes when he's sucking you off?" I am outdoing myself today.

He's up off the ground snake quick, and his black eyes are filled with fury. Uh oh. I have a strange premonition that this is going to really hurt-and then I'm flying backwards through the air. My entire abdomen feels like it's caved in, squashing everything inside to a Saiyan stew. One, two...three...four, five, six...how many trees am I gonna go through? I lose count, but finally a rock outcropping provides enough resistance to stop me. Ouch.

I watch the arrival of the seething green alien with great pleasure. I may not be able to defeat him in battle yet, but I sure can push his buttons like nobody's business. He lands in front of me, and I wonder if he's going to continue pounding my already battered and bruised self. Ah, well, that last crack was particularly nasty, even for me. But instead he just stalks over to me and hauls me up by the front of my stupid orange gi. Man, I hate Kakarot's workout clothes.

"You are a vulgar, tasteless, crude bastard. I would kill you if Goku cared just one little bit less." He continues to berate me as he hauls me up into the sky, dragging me along behind him like a recalcitrant dog. He lets my legs skim the tops of the trees, and the slender branches act like a whip to my calves and thighs. Oh, too bad, the gi's getting shredded. Hurts like a son of a bitch, though.

"You need a bath to wash out that filthy mouth of yours," he growls, almost to himself, before dumping me unceremoniously into a lake from about 200 feet in the air. Ooh, this is going to hurt even more...I curl myself into a ball as I fall, squeezing my eyes shut. Yup, I was right, the splash down feels awful against my various cuts and bruises. Luckily the lake's ice-cold, and my skin is already feeling pleasantly numb as I surface. This seems unfortunately familiar.

"You just had to see me half naked and wet, didn't you, Piccolo?" I call up to him, grinning madly. Damn, but he's fun to train with. But I guess he's decided to play the stoic now, because he just frowns down at me. I swim leisurely to the shore, relishing the ache of my muscles. Piccolo's waiting, sitting underneath a tree in that swami lotus position he likes so much. I walk over and flop down next to him, beginning the arduous task of wringing out my hair.

"You'd think a month of living with Goku's wife would teach you some decorum and tact," the Namek rumbles at me, but I can tell he isn't really mad any more. He just likes to complain.

"Hey, if you can't beat it into me, what makes you think Chichi's going to do any better?" I return brightly. It was a big shock when I first realized her power level was puny as compared to Kakarot. I still had a hard time of understanding why he put up with her. Sure, she was spirited, and a good fighter for her strength, but she was such a _nag_. She genuinely did love him, though, and I think he returned it. Then again, I'm not really one to judge. I mean, the great love of my life had been Prince Vegeta, and near the end he was treating me like total crap. Maybe people in my family just have a need to be stepped on in relationships.

I sigh, leaning back against the tree, letting my hair fall to the ground to pick up some dead leaves and pine needles to add to its burden of sweat and lake water. "Have you ever been in love, Piccolo?" I ask seriously, wiping my lips and looking curiously at the blood there.

"Oh, not this again-" he begins, but I interrupt.

"No, seriously. I'm not trying to fuck with you, really."

He blinks at the perfect blue sky, and seems to be thinking about it. Of course, Piccolo _always _looks like he's thinking, so maybe he's ignoring me. "No," he answers suddenly, "No, I don't think so. I've loved people before...but that's not the same as being in love, is it?"

"Nah, entirely different. Probably healthier, too," I throw back, watching the clouds drift past.

"Well, I don't suppose I could be in love anyways," he adds. "Nameks are asexual."

I look over at him in surprise. "You don't just think being in love is about sex, do you?" I ask, a bit incredulously. I mean, this guy grew up here on Earth...wasn't there this whole weird culture here around romance and stuff? I mean, they even had holidays for it!

He shrugs. "I don't know, isn't it? It seems like a very big focus for many of the people I know." I gape at him, and wonder how the hell he's perceiving folks. Who's so interested in sex around here? I decide not to go down that road...at least not today. Probably my curiosity will get the better of me at some point, and I'll ask, then regret it. But not today.

"Well, that's part of it, I guess. But you can have sex without love...and you can be in love without having sex." I ponder, struggling to think of a way of explaining being in love, wondering if Piccolo's just getting me to talk to see what I'll say. He can't be _that _ignorant.

"It's like...well, the person seems more important to you than yourself, is one part of it. You'd do most anything for them."

"How is that different from a parent's love for their child? Or close friendships?" His voice still holds little inflection, and the thought that he's testing me becomes stronger. Then again, maybe I'm paranoid. After all, I've never really talked to Piccolo about relationships. Everything else under the sun, yeah, I was even starting to think of the guy as my friend, but not relationships.

"Well, you also want to be around the person as much as you can. You rarely get tired of them. Which is very different with kids, from what I've seen. Um...well, it's also like the other person is something really precious to you. When they're around, they make your stomach flutter, and you sort of lose track of other people. And there's the physical aspect, too, though that doesn't always mean sex. You just want to be close to them, touch them, hold them." I sigh. I didn't know this was going to be so painful to talk about. "But I guess...well, I think that's only the first part of the relationship. I've never been involved with anyone for more than a year or so. Married people say things change the longer you stay together." I laugh, thinking of Kakarot and Chichi. "Sometimes for the better, sometimes worse."

The silence from Piccolo is indeterminable. I look over at him, wondering if he's fallen asleep. Nope, he's still staring up in the sky. "So have you ever been in love?" I ask again.

"I don't know," is his answer, and he sounds a bit troubled now. Guess that wasn't a test after all.

"You want to talk about?" I offer, pretty sure he's going to backhand me here at some point.

"Not really, no." Well, that was easier than I thought. "So you were in love with Vegeta?"

I'm not surprised he figured it out...the Namek may be mixed up about his own feelings, but he's sharp about other people's. I've learned to trust his judgment, and to listen to him when he gives me advice about my own screwed up self.

"Yeah. It was a long time ago. I thought I was going to spend my life with him...pretty stupid of me, all things considered." I can't keep the self-recrimination out of my voice.

"How so?"

"Well, he's a prince, isn't he? I may be a first class warrior, but I'm sure as hell not fit for a prince. The classing system is bullshit, anyway." I chide myself for changing the subject, even as I continue, fiddling with the tatters of my pants, "I mean, look at my brother. He's worlds more powerful than me, and he was tested at third class!"

"What does class have to do with your affair with Vegeta being doomed?" Piccolo never misses a trick.

"Well, Prince Vegeta is so strong. So ideal. Just what every Saiyan would wish to be. I'm...well, I'm not. Not strong, not smart, nothing. He was just lonely, I think, and I was the only other Saiyan around, besides Nappa." I wonder why I'm pouring out my heart like this to the Namek. Maybe because I feel like it's safe; who's he going to tell? He probably doesn't even understand half of it anyway. Or maybe it's just because I need to talk, need to tell this to _somebody, _and he's the closest person. I don't know. Right now, I don't care.

"Why did you think you would spend your lives together, if he was just lonely?" 

"Well..." I force myself to think back, really remember those first few months. I had never been sure of Prince Vegeta's feelings, but there had seemed to be something there. "It was different, in the beginning," I start slowly, the words almost physically painful with the flood of memories they bring. "He seemed like he really cared about me. I don't know if he loved me...he certainly never said he did, but then that's not really our way. The Saiyan way, I mean. He sought me out, though, chose to spend time with me when he could be doing something else, sparred with me. I suppose I would have been considered extremely subordinate, if there were any other Saiyans alive to care. I chased him all over the place, it was like I was in heat, I didn't care that he could beat the shit out of me, I just wanted to touch him, be near him. Damn, those first few months, whenever we were away from base we'd be screwing like mad!" I laugh, but the laughter hurts, sets its barbs in my throat.

"But slowly, the gap between our power levels increased. His power just grew and grew, it was amazing! But me, I had to work for every little bit. Not that I didn't...I trained constantly! But I could never catch up with Prince Vegeta, and he knew that. He started becoming...colder, I guess, less affectionate, less easy to reach. And I started becoming afraid to face him, afraid to touch him, look him in the eyes. Things just sort of ended, and we never said a word to each other about it. Except..."

I take a big gulp of the cool air, bring my knees up to my chest and lower my forehead to touch them, hiding my face in my hair. I will _not _cry, I _will not _cry! Of course, I do, but at least Piccolo can't see. He remains silent, anyway. I feel impossibly weak, but in my new life, that's hardly a revelation. I _am _impossibly weak. I keep my shoulders from trembling, keep talking to stop myself from sobbing. Hope my voice isn't shaky.

"Except once, I went to give my report to him. I'd just cleared off some planet or other...he was staring out the window at the sky. He was so beautiful standing there, everything came back to me, and I-" I stop, taking time to get a hold of my voice again. "I walked up to him, tried to take him in my arms, the way we used to. I thought it was stupid to throw away something like that just because of fear." I swallow audibly.

"He was furious. He grabbed my hand and twisted it, breaking my wrist. He then proceeded to beat me, screaming at me, 'Don't you EVER touch me again!' I couldn't-I couldn't fight back. I was in the regen tank for three weeks after that. By the time I woke up, he was gone, off on some mission. I never spoke of anything but business to him after that. Even when he sent me to go get Kakarot."

I can't help myself, and the sobs pour out of me. I keep them silent, but my back and shoulders shake, betraying me. I hope Piccolo doesn't look over at me, I can't stand for anyone else to see my disgusting frailty. If he were to laugh at me, or worse, to offer me pity, sympathy, I think I really would leave this mudball, just hurl myself into space and see how far I got. But he does none of these things, and I'm left alone with my sorrow. After what seems like hours, I finally get some control back, and wipe my eyes on the ragged remains of my pants, lifting my head.

He's looking at me. But he doesn't say anything, just keeps looking at me with eyes I can't read. I respond the only way I know how, and spit out bitterly, "Well?"

"It seems you have had some difficult experiences," Piccolo says, his voice as opaque as his eyes. I'm grateful.

"Yeah, being in love sucks," I offer as my one bit of wisdom I've gleaned from my miserable life.


	4. Three

(song quoted herein is "Enemy" by Days of the New)

I really am fascinated by the radio. It's one of the things I genuinely adore about this planet: they love music and produce it in enormous quantities, of all types. I like to flip between radio stations, stopping whenever something catches my fancy. I don't often get the chance to do it, I'm so busy training usually. But there's no one around to spar with me today, they all have something else to do, and I'm relishing these few hours to myself, alone in the house. Chichi dragged Goten out grocery shopping, Goku's over sparring with Prince Vegeta, and it's just me for a little while. I crank the old stereo in the living room, closing my eyes and feeling the bass throb in the floor. This song has a really heavy bass, and weird changing rhythms. I can feel it soaking in through the bottom of my bare feet, shaking my blood and bones. I love it.

~_Listen down you little man_

I'm not the one who's trying to change you~

I start moving my feet across the floor, sliding and hopping, like the steps of a fight, never let myself rest on the ground for more than half a second. At first I only follow with my upper body, but soon I've got my arms going, too, letting them glide through the air freely.

~_And if you come to understand it will be okay_

You need to change it now~

I close my eyes, just delighting in the feel of my body moving exactly how I want it to, matching the beat of the song. My head bobs and sways, swinging my hair around me like a cloak, and my tail plays counterpoint. I have never been in such good shape in my life, and it almost makes the last few months worth it, this glorious music and my perfectly responsive flesh and bone.

~_I'm not the one who's trying to be_

I'm not the one who's trying to be your enemy

There's something you need to change~

I know I must be wearing an absolutely ridiculous grin, but who the hell cares? It's just me and the music, in this shabby little house in the middle of nowhere that seems the most perfect place in the universe right this second.

~_You need to change it_

You need to change it~

The soft whisper of the loose threads on my cut off cargo pants tickles across my knees, and the nubby caress of old flannel rubs over my back as I move, my arms blissfully bare.

~_I went in killing the sun_

I once one

I once one~

__

I spin to a gentle halt as the music slows, just letting my upper body sway with my tail, feeling the soft flutter of fur against the back of my calves. Finally, the music stops, and one of those annoying commercials comes on. I let my eyes fall open, still smiling as my gaze drops on some guy standing in the doorway, his mouth half open as he stares at me. It takes me a second to correct my expression, and I reach over to snap off the radio.

"Who the hell are you?" I growl at this youngish male intruder, checking his power level almost unconsciously. I'm shocked, and suddenly afraid, and my tail begins whipping behind me in agitation. Now the guy is staring at my tail, his cornflower blue eyes following it back and forth, back and forth.

"I _said_, Who the hell are you?!" I repeat more firmly, wondering if my bullshit act is getting through to this weirdo. His eyes flick back to my face, and a tawny hand pushes longish lilac hair out of his face, tucking it neatly behind his ear. Examining him more closely, I see he must only be in his late teens, still a kid. I groan to myself, wondering if I'm being rude to one of Goten's friends. But with that power level...he interrupts my train of thought.

"I'm Trunks. You must be Raditz, right?" His voice is clear, self-assured, as though I'm the trespasser. I wince at what a royal fuck up I've made as I realize who this guy is. He continues as though I've answered him, "I was looking for Goten, but I guess you didn't hear me knocking with the radio turned up so loud. Nice moves, by the way."

I can't process what he says, I'm too busy mentally smacking myself in the head. I have to apologize immediately, and I drop to one knee, my head bowed. "Forgive me, my prince. I did not mean to offend with my rude behavior. It was inexcusable, and of course I shall accept whatever punishment you see fit." The formal language of the court comes back with more ease than I thought it would; I've gotten used to being myself out here with my family, and my natural communication style is a bit crude, as Piccolo often reminds me.

His silence is reprimand enough as I stare at the floor. Doubtless I'm about to get some free training in the form of a severe beating. I glance up from under my hair, trying to get a handle on what he's going to do, but I'm surprised to find him staring at me open-mouthed again.

"Uh...punish you? Prince? What? Are you sure you're not mistaking me for my dad?" Indeed, he's got the haughty attractiveness of Vegeta in his face, but his coloration must be his mother's. No Saiyan ever had eyes and hair like that. They're a striking combination with his golden skin.

"No, my lord. I am pledged to serve the royal house of Vegeta-sei, and you are the oldest child in the last generation of that line, are you not?"

"Well, yeah, but....well, Vegeta-sei's blown up, right? I'm no prince." His voice holds some amusement, now, and he adds, "Really, you don't have to kneel."

I remain in my subservient position, speaking slowly. "My prince, just because our home world is destroyed, does not make you any less royal. I am pledged to your family with my life." Apparently, either Prince Vegeta did not educate his son, or his son did not listen to his father. Knowing Vegeta, I was betting on the latter.

"Okay, then I command you to rise," he says impatiently, and so I get to my feet, but keep my eyes down. "Please," he continues, a bit more softly, "Please, I don't want you to act like that around me. It makes me uncomfortable."

There's a brief struggle in my head, between my old self and my new one. My old self tells me to continue the way I have been, this kid may not know the old ways, but it's my responsibility as his subject to educate him the best I can, if only through my actions. My new self is much more blunt. //Fuck it. This is Earth, and you've done enough bowing and scraping for one lifetime.// I tend to agree with the new me, and so I bring up my eyes to meet his. I'm rewarded with a cool smile as Trunks relaxes.

"That's better. It's just too weird having people bow to me and stuff. Not like it happens real often, but..." he trails off, looking me over curiously. I wrap my tail around my waist defensively, realizing that cut off khakis and an open flannel shirt with the sleeves ripped off are hardly the height off fashion, or even appropriate for greeting visitors in. But the new me frankly doesn't give a shit, and I return his look with interest. He's much more put together than me, it looks like his blue jeans were ironed, and his white tank top practically gleams it's so clean. The forest green button down he wears over it hangs open, and he's got the sleeves neatly rolled up, even on both sides. I almost sneer at that, but restrain myself.

"Goten's not here," I answer his earlier question. "He's out shopping with Chichi, but he should be back soon if you want to wait."

He considers this, confiding a bit slyly, "I'm not sure if I should...I mean, I'm not supposed to be over here. Dad doesn't want me to come over, for some reason. Then again, I really do need to talk to Goten." He bites his lip thoughtfully, and continues, "You are Raditz, right? Goku's brother?"

I nod, wondering why he's so curious. It can't be because Prince Vegeta's been talking about me, that's for sure. "Yeah, that's me." He laughs suddenly, and the sound makes me drop the estimation of his age a bit...it's so young and carefree. My heavy brows drop down over my black eyes, and I let myself flop back onto the couch. If he doesn't want me to stand on ceremony, then I'm not going to, goddamnit.

"You look a little bit like my dad," he offers, still smiling. "Except a lot bigger." He certainly hasn't inherited his father's height...but then, he isn't as tall as the rest of my family, either. "I think it's the hair. You know, the widow's peak." I'm not sure how I should take being compared to Prince Vegeta. Of course, I thought he was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen when I met him, but that was a long time ago. Unfortunately, age hadn't dulled those sharp good looks. What, me bitter? Nah.

"Yeah, well, we Saiyans all look alike, kid," I wave dismissively. I'm hardly a great looking guy.

"Man, when you switch gears, you really switch gears!" Trunks exclaims with some admiration, and seats himself on the other end of the couch. "I guess I'll wait." He looks around the room a bit uncomfortably. I have no idea what to say; I have a hard enough time carrying on a conversation with Goten, and now here's his best friend perched perkily next to me. I blow out a sigh, lifting the wisps of hair hanging in my face. I wonder idly if Goten and Trunks are screwing. Looking over at the pale young prince, I think probably not. This guy's already got a broom handle up his ass, no way anything else is fitting up there.

"So do _you_ know why my dad doesn't want me over here?" the object of my scrutiny asks, meeting my eyes with polite inquiry.

"Yeah."

"Um..." he purses his lips suddenly, and I think he might be getting irritated with me. I just grin back at him insolently. It's probably completely unfair that I'm taking out my old anger at Prince Vegeta on his kid, but he _did _sort of ask for it. "You going to tell me?" he asks more sharply.

"It's because of me. Your dad and I don't really get along, and I guess he doesn't want his kids associating with such a low life piece of shit such as myself." I consider blurting out, //Besides, he might be afraid that since I'm done fucking him silly I'll start on you guys.// Trunks' expression is suitably shocked as it is, though, so I bite my tongue on laughter that would just confuse him.

"Does he really think that?" Trunks asks, a bit timidly. I don't like hearing that careful tone in his voice for some reason, but I can't really figure out why. I hate being confused, but it's starting to be a way of life for me. I was never big on relationships, and now all of a sudden I've got this big family, plus some people I could almost call friends.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

I sigh again. What do I tell him? His father broke my heart? "I'm pretty weak, kid. I came here to Earth to get Kakarot, and I got killed by Piccolo, of all people. I guess your dad's not a real forgiving guy." He frowns at my explanation, delicate brows coming down over those incredible eyes. His face is much more expressive than Prince Vegeta's.

"I know my dad used to be a real bad guy...but he's changed now, you know. He still comes off as kind of an asshole sometimes, but he's really not that awful. I can't see why he'd forbid us to even come over here." Trunk sounds puzzled, his voice a little higher as though querying himself.

"Maybe you should ask him," I suggest and decide for myself that's the last I'm going to say on the matter. My resolution is saved from being challenged by the banging of the front door. I hear Goten's keen voice ringing through the house.

"Trunks? Are you here?" He sounds eager, but then Goten sounds eager about most everything.

"In here, Goten," Trunks answers, still eyeing me with a troubled expression. Goten comes bouncing in to the living room, and I take the opportunity to exit, slipping outside to help Chichi with the rest of the bags. She's finally gotten at least a little used to having me around, and doesn't direct constant venom at me anymore. She actually murmurs a pleasant, "Thank you," as I scoop seven of the bags up and haul them inside. I can hear the energized conversation between Trunks and Goten in the other room. I begin putting away the stuff that goes in the fridge as Chichi brings in the last bag.

"What are they so excited about?" Kakarot's wife asks me, her voice suspicious. I shrug cluelessly, fetching the frozen vegetables.

"Trunks has only been here a few minutes, but I guess he had something important to tell Goten. It must be pretty imperative for him to disobey his father," I chuckle, shaking my head.

"Disobey his father? What are you talking about, Raditz?" Chichi's interest is finally aroused, and she looks at me curiously.

"Oh, didn't Kakarot tell you? Pr-I mean, Vegeta's kids are forbidden to come over here."

"What?! That's ridiculous! I'm sure if Goku knew about it, he would tell me...why would Vegeta do that?" She sounds outraged, as if Prince Vegeta had personally insulted her housekeeping or something. I hide a smile.

"Well, it's because of me, I'm pretty sure. He doesn't like me much, guess he thinks I'll be a bad influence on his kids." I shrug again, folding brown paper bags carefully and stooping to put them in the lower cupboard.

"That Vegeta thinks he's better than everyone! I can't stand that man! Always lording himself over my Goku, just because he's some sort of stupid alien prince!" She's furious now, waving her arms up and down as she stamps around the kitchen. "Always has that big nose of his up in the air, ooh!"

I'm pleased at how easily I quash my initial instinct to smash her into the ground for insulting the royal house of Vegeta-sei. Instead, I find myself amused at Chichi's anger directed at an outside party, and I chime in gamely, "He's thinks his shit doesn't stink."

"Raditz!" Chichi glares at me, but then erupts into a flurry of giggles. Maybe I'll win my sister-in-law over yet. Just then Goten pokes a messy head into the kitchen, testing the waters.

"Uh....mom?" He asks, then mouths to me 'Is it safe?'I nod, smiling, and he bounces into the room, followed by a more sedate Trunks. "Mom, guess what? Trunks got tickets to go to that club Bulma and Yamcha used to go to, can I go? I promise I'll get all my homework done beforehand, and be back by midnight? Please, mom, pleeease?"

His dark-haired mother frowns, thinking, obviously wary about the idea. But she must be in a good mood, because she answers, "Well....I guess if Gohan goes, then you can. You're not going without a chaperone, and that's final." Goten is already bouncing on the balls of his feet with anticipation. 

"Thanks mom, you're the greatest! I'll go call him right now!" He disappears into the other room, and I can hear the clatter of the phone as he knocks it onto the floor in his impatience. I smile fondly, then look at Trunks, finding the exact same expression on his face. He meets my eyes, still grinning, and there's something else there I can't quite read. Something familiar...it dances just out of my grasp, and I curse my slow mind.

I listen as Goten's voice rises and falls, a soft background music as I put away groceries. Trunks wanders into the other room, so I don't see him when I turn at the yelled, "Oh MAN! Come ON, big brother! You GOT to!" Uh-oh, seems Goten has hit a little snag. He wanders back into the kitchen, looking considerably wilted. But he gamely plunges on.

"Um, Gohan can't do it, he's going out that night with Videl, and I guess they got the baby sitter all set up and everything. Can Dad come with us instead?"

Chichi's answer is brisk, "No. Your father is not going into one of those places." Funny, she didn't seem to mind her son going as long as her other son went, too. I smile to myself in the pantry, where I'm safely hidden.

"Mo-om! Well, can't we go by ourselves? Don't you trust me?" Goten is whining now, and I wince. Come on, boy, you're a Saiyan! But a smoother voice interrupts, to my surprise.

"Why doesn't Raditz take us? He's an adult, right?" Trunks leaves the suggestion hanging for about two seconds before Goten chimes in happily.

"Yeah! Hey, Uncle Raditz, will you take us to the club?" Gods, why did the purple headed kid have to drag me into this? I sigh, and take a moment to compose my face before sticking my head out into the kitchen.

"If your mother says it's okay," I answer cautiously, eyeing Chichi. But she just nods thoughtfully, sending Goten into a furious bout of jumping up and down and spinning, his arms flailing through the air like an overwrought monkey.

"All right! Yesyesyesyes!" I wonder what's so great about this club, and what the hell they do there. I've never really been into the city, so I'm pretty ignorant about the goings-on. Seeing nothing left to do in the kitchen I trail after Trunks and Goten as they head for the front door, talking excitedly.

"So, I better take you shopping," Vegeta's son tells my nephew. "I mean, you have nothing that'll really work. You probably don't, either, huh?" he suddenly directs at me, and I turn wide black eyes at him.

"Uh...what? That'll work for what?" I'm completely dazed, and Trunks grins, enjoying turning the tables on me, I think.

"Clothes," he says matter-of-factly, as though I must be a total moron for not knowing.

"I have clothes," I mumble, still lost, in a good imitation of my brother.

"Clothes for the _club_. You can't just wear any old thing! We'll go Thursday, after school," he decides, his voice as imperious as Vegeta's ever was. He then pulls Goten out the door with him, whispering furiously into his ear. I just stand there staring at the door, wondering what kind of clothes you need for a club? Maybe it's fancy dress only or something...black-tie, I think they call it here. Or maybe you do something weird there that you need a special uniform for. Shrugging (I seem to be doing that a lot today), I just head upstairs. Maybe I'll ask Kakarot about it later.


	5. Four

I wake slowly. It's still deliciously early in the morning; I can hear the birds singing, but there's only the faintest glimmer of the dawn peeking through my window. I love this time of day, and a lazy smile drifts across my lips as I just lay there, enjoying the silence. Chichi will break the peace in only an hour, so I've learned to cherish these moments. Funny, how much I enjoy the times when no one's around. Or maybe just sad. I shake my head as I push back the covers slowly, relishing the chill of the air against my sleep warmed skin.

I take in a deep breath, hoping to catch some of the lingering scent of night through my open window, but all I can smell is sweaty Saiyan. Huh, time for a shower. I rise from bed slowly, letting the bedclothes fall behind. Leaving the room dark, I rummage through Gohan's chest of drawers, looking for the little bag I keep just for these circumstances. I still can't think of this as anything but Gohan's room...it isn't really mine, I'm just borrowing it. I suppose I'll need to get my own place, soon. If Kakarot'll let me. It's not that he doesn't trust me, I think he genuinely just likes having me around. I don't really think of him as my brother, he's sort of a combination uncle/distant cousin. He doesn't understand me, and I don't understand him, but still, we have some good times together. But he's also an authority figure, which is where the "uncle" bit comes in. So I'm confused about our relationship, what else is new with me? If I was smart, I wouldn't be here in the first place.

I find my bag with a little smirk of triumph. It's got my shampoo, soap, washcloth, and a heavy-duty brush in it. I grab some unsoiled clothes at random, then duck out into the hall to grab a couple of clean towels. I hold them to my face briefly, letting that delicious fresh smell envelope my face. Okay, so Chichi's good for a lot of things, clean linen being one of them. Clean linen, good food, and I guess she must be one wild ride in the bedroom, the way she whoops and hollers in there. I slip back into my room with that amusing thought keeping my face lit, grabbing a duffel bag to shove everything in, then I let myself out the window, swooping out into the early morning twilight.

I don't know why I love early morning and evening so much. Maybe it's because they're half-and-half times, in betweens, like me. Neither one thing nor the other. But they manage it with a grace I can only envy. I'm just bewildered, sunrises and sets are glorious. I laugh to myself as I spin through the air, out among the trees. Oh, fuck it all, who cares? I've been spending too much time analyzing things, anyway. It's not like me, and I resolve to just be myself today, just act without thinking, and maybe get myself into trouble. Sounds like fun. 

I skim over the tops of trees, then duck below to dodge and dart around the trunks and branches, admiring the splintered light. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! When did I start thinking of this place as my home? I don't know, but I feel a startled warmth rise from my chest, contrasting with the delectable bite of the air rushing by my face, chilling my hair and naked skin. I burst out above the lake that was the scene of my first meeting with Piccolo in my new life. It really wasn't his lake, he just wanted me to shove off that night. He likes to have the upper hand, get in the last word. Petty bastard. Guess it helps him keep up his mystic image.

But I frown in dismay down at the two figures laughing and splashing. Damn, it's my nephew and Vegeta's kid. I thought Goten was staying over at Trunk's place last night? I guess they decided to get up and come here, or knowing Goten, they never went to sleep at all. Why they had to pick my lake, though, is beyond me. I decide to find somewhere else; I'm not in the mood for company just yet.

I rise above the trees, closing my eyes and spinning to pick a random direction. Keeping my eyes squeezed tightly shut I push myself as fast as I can, trusting my skill to keep me even and not crashing into any objects in my path. It's pretty damn exhilarating, and when I finally open my eyes, I have no idea where I am. Perfect. I start scouting around for a body of water, and find a good-sized stream just itching to be a river. I follow it down stream to find it rushing into a small waterfall that drops into a clear pool. It's ridiculously idyllic, and my goofy grin echoes my brother as I drop my bag on the rocky shore. 

"Bonzai!" I scream mightily as I spiral into the pool, letting myself simply fall. The first bite of the water is sheer glory, and it almost makes up for the shrieking pain that warps my head as I hit the bottom really hard. Oops. I surface spluttering and rubbing my head. I can't quite stand on the bottom at the deepest part of the pool. I swim leisurely to shore to root through my bag, bringing out the soap and the rest, before swimming back out to the waterfall. The water here barely covers my waist, again, just perfect. Gods must be playing some trick on me, nothing is just perfect in my life these days. I'm learning to treasure the little things, because the big things are invariably fucked up.

But not today, not thinking today, just enjoying. I wet my hair in the waterfall, before dumping some shampoo on top of my head and proceeding to the lengthy task of working it through all of my hair. I rinse with a will, turning my face up to receive the waterfall's refreshing benediction. My skin is becoming chill in the icy water, but I don't care, in fact, it feels wonderful. Out with the soap, and a healthy all over scrub, hiking my legs out of the water to get everywhere. And finally, my tail.

Some men just have to have a good old yank in the morning to get them going. Not Saiyans, though. For us, it's our tails. Or maybe it's only me, I don't really have anyone to swap masturbation stories with anymore. I snort to myself, but refuse to be distracted. Carefully pouring out a small portion of the green shampoo, I wrap my tail around my hips to my front to allow easier access. I spare a brief mournful thought to all the Saiyans left but me, left mutilated. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let that spoil this glorious morning, and I begin slowly massaging in the sweet, herbal smelling shampoo. Tingles of pleasure start their erratic climb through my body, little fingers of electricity awakening my nerves.

I let out a soft sigh, my tongue wetting my lips with a warmer moisture than the stream provides. I don't do my usual careful planning out of fantasies today, instead I let my mind drift as my fingers work gently through the dark pelt of my tail. Of course, Prince Vegeta pops in first. He'll always be my ideal of beauty, so sleek and compact, like a cat. Next to him, I'm some clumsy giant. But for now it's just the image of his agonizing body, the flush of crimson that colored his cheeks and throat when he cried out in pleasure, the joy I had in cracking that haughty façade. A moan escapes my lips, and I move my fingers down to the very tip of my tail before running them back, ruffling the slickly wet fur.

Just thinking about Vegeta has gotten me aroused, and I wrap my tail around that, too, before continuing ministering to my longing flesh. The pleasure's becoming more intense, and I speed the pace a bit, running my fingers behind me to rub at the base of my tail. Ebony eyes slip closed as I picture my prince in my mind. But as usual, I fuck it all up, because I don't see him in his youth, when he was mine, but as he is now, in my brother's arms. I hate it, seeing him like that, but somehow I'm more excited than ever, and I can't stop. More images flash through me, the young prince, resplendent in just his long, lavender hair, and a more alien beauty, emerald and rose...

"Piccolo..." I whisper softly to the gracious air.

"What? What are you doing?" The gravelly voice cuts through my reverie, and my eyes snap open. Oh, not him _again_!

"For God's sake! What is it with you, me, and water? What do you want, Piccolo?" I'm frozen in my irritation, but I'm not going to duck into the water like some embarrassed child. He wants to spy on me, he's getting the full damn view!

"I _want_ you out of my pool!" His voice is furious, like he's caught me pissing in his drink or something. I unwind my tail, letting it wave angrily behind me. Of course, the gesture is sort of lost in the waterfall. Oh, well, free rinse. I am also sorta undercut by the fact that I'm still erect. Damn Saiyan biology mixing up sex and fighting.

"Oh, you are _not_ going to tell me _this_ is your pool, too! You tried that one on me already, remember? Look, I'm just taking a goddamned _shower_ here, so if you'll excuse me..." I turn my back on him, my tail slicing through the water furiously.

"Raditz, look off to your left, back through the trees about a hundred yards." His voice is flat. Yep, he's ticked. But I look, and see some sort of rock face, like maybe a cave? With...with a door set into the rock. Shit.

"_That_ is where I stay when I want to get away from the Lookout. And you are in my pool."

I turn around, still a little annoyed, though some of it is now directed at myself. I didn't thoroughly check out the area...what if someone not so friendly had lived nearby? "Look, I was just taking a shower, Piccolo, nothing big."

"What you were _doing_ was painfully obvious! Ple-...Mas-...doing....THAT," he says, spluttering, and gesturing at my bobbing erection, "And saying _my_ name, like some....well, I don't know! Like something!" Oh, shit. But I'm not going to feel embarrassed. Not today. I walk out of the pool, doing my best Vegeta imitation and sneering at the Namek.

"Look, us non-asexual people _do_ things like that. And why the hell would you care who's name I'm whispering, or hollering for that matter?" I turn my back to him, and lean over to grab a towel from my bag. I'm surprised to hear a shocked gasp from behind me, but not so surprised when I hear:

"COVER YOURSELF! I have no wish to see your little peep show, Saiyan!" Piccolo is way more angry than I've ever seen him, even when I'm trying my best to get him going. I'm going to have to remember this. Feeling smugly perverse, I wrap the towel around my shoulders and turn around.

"No one's asking you to look," I snort at him, and begin drying my front briskly. "You may want to stand back," I add, and then proceed to shake out my hair before he's moved a muscle. Heh, got him dead on. He stands there gaping at me, too shocked to speak, just making choked noises. Wow, he's even more of a prude than I suspected. Too bad he's not wearing that stupid turban or the superhero cape, I only managed to wet his gi. And little crystalline droplets dangle tantalizingly from the ends of his antennae. I wonder why he's not attacking me, though? Probably has some sort of weird honor thing about attacking naked people. His loss.

Finally he gains back some control of his vocal chords. "What is this all about, Raditz?" he asks, his voice now dangerously low. He's thinking instead of just reacting, which means my fun is about to be ruined. I guess I better cut him a break. I shrug wide shoulders, as I try to actually analyze my behavior. He owes me, for making me break my promise to myself this early.

"Oh, I dunno," I sigh, wringing out my hair, and rubbing it with the other towel to give it at least the semblance of being damp instead of dripping wet. I fish for my shorts in the bag, this time not leaving my back to Piccolo. "Part of it is I just like to piss you off. But I really didn't know this was your pool, I was just doing my usual...uh...thing that I do when I wash in the mornings." I examine the pair of cut-off jeans critically, then pull them on. The come to just above the knee. All my shorts are cut offs, it's really hard to find clothes in my size, and pants were all they had in the thrift store.

"I was just kinda letting my mind wander. I have no idea how to explain masturbation to you, I think my ability was sucked out at the whole being in love thing. But what you think about when you're doing it isn't always under your control, you know?" I pull out my brush and sit down on a rock that is just beginning to be warmed by the rising sun. I admire the swirling mist dancing over the surface of the water before continuing.

"I've always had a thing for strong people, like most Saiyans. Guys, in my case. And I guess I think of you as a man, not a woman, and not even...well, whatever you are. But it wasn't my conscious choice. Hell, I was thinking about Vegeta at first, and you know what a lost cause that is. So don't take it too personally."

My hair is deciding to be stubborn today and I yank painfully on one of the many knots trying to detangle it. I don't look at Piccolo, and he doesn't say anything. I guess he's doing some analyzing of his own. I glance up at him curiously, but his face is empty of meaning. Piccolo is the master of the blank face, only 18 is better at it, from what I've seen. I offer something that I still have trouble with. "Sorry."

He just stares back at me, and I turn back to my hair. I don't feel like squirming under his gaze today, so I won't. I let my mind drift pleasantly as I work, ignoring my unintentional companion. So it's quite a surprise when I feel his clawed hand at my shoulder, then the soft touch of his forearm sliding by my cheek as he reaches over to pluck the brush from my hand. "You're making a mess of it," he says in his usual growl. And then I'm completely freaked, because he's grabbing a small handful of my hair and gently teasing the tangles from it.

I have a sudden terrible thought...is this going to turn out like one of those crazy stories that Gohan had stashed in his room where one guy catches the other masturbating, and is so turned on by it that he jumps the second guy's bones? "Uh, Piccolo?" I ask cautiously, "What are you doing?"

His hands tighten in my hair and I let out a startled yelp. He works the brush through a particularly nasty tangle before answering, "I'm brushing your hair, idiot." I want desperately to look over my shoulder, see the expression on his face, but I'm afraid to. This is just too strange. Piccolo is _not_ a tender or caring kind of guy, this is way out of character for him. I decide to just sit still, and try not let my mind run away with this.

Actually, once he gets the knots out, it feels pretty nice. There's something very primal in having someone else brush your hair; a warm, safe, tingly kind of feeling that is unfamiliar to me. I find myself letting out happy little "mm" noises as he draws the brush from the crown of my head down the entire length of my mane. The sun is starting to heat the surface of my skin, and lazy droplets of water trail ticklishly down my back into the waistband of my shorts. I let my shoulders relax, my hands fall open where they rest on my thighs. I almost lean back comfortably into Piccolo, but stop myself just in time.

Finally he hands the brush back to me, and I dare to glance back into his face. The amused little smirk I see there makes me blink. Then I realize..."You were fucking with me, weren't you?" I ask, somewhat surprised with myself for the pang of disappointment that taunts me. Do I miss companionship so much?

"I don't know, Raditz, was I?" he asks archly and I want to stamp my feet like a child in frustration.

"Oh, fine, whatever! I don't want to play your games today, you sadistic Namek." I stand, gathering my things angrily. He's probably snickering to himself, glad he's finally found a way to get me back for all those cracks about Gohan. I pull on a baggy black t-shirt, and swing my duffel bag, burdened now with wet towels, over my shoulder. "I'm going to go get breakfast. I won't come and use your pool again." I'm snarling, furious I can't get a better hold of my own reactions. Ah, this is why I consistently analyze everything I do...it keeps me from making quite so much of a fool of myself. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking, too.

"You're welcome to it any time you like," offers Piccolo. I turn, gaping at him, but he's already gone, and I see the door to his cave opening and a green and indigo flash slipping inside.

"YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD, DON'T YOU, YOU SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH!"


	6. Five

"Hi Raditz, you caught us on our way out." Videl smiles affectionately at me before hugging my waist, her head resting against my chest. She's so short! But I grin, and hug her back. Videl is intelligent, strong, and could almost pass for Saiyan with her thick black hair. She's a very warm woman, but there's a core of steel in there, a coldness that would lash out at anyone who dared threaten her family. I like Videl quite a lot.

My grandniece, Pan, tugs demandingly at my pant leg, and holds her arms to be picked up, a sweet little scowl directed up at me. She's got her mother's willfulness, that's for sure. I laugh and scoop her up, and she wraps her small arms around my neck, pressing a sticky face into my shoulder. I kiss her soft cheek, and she laughs in delight, clambering up to sit on my shoulder like a little monkey. Not for the first time, I wonder if she, too, has lost her tail. Maybe she was never born with one. She's only a quarter Saiyan, after all.

"I'm staying," she declares to her mother stubbornly, but Videl just shakes her head.

"Raditz, would you be so kind as to relinquish my daughter?" she asks me, one expressive brow raised. I heave a dramatic sigh, but dislodge Pan from my shoulder, handing her back to Videl.

"I'll see you later, little one," I promise her, and she beams, loud complaint averted. Her mother smiles at me, touching me lightly on the shoulder as she carries Pan and a large shopping bag full of Tupperware out the door deftly. I turn to see Gohan watching me with quiet amusement.

"You know, you're a completely different person around here," he remarks quietly as he leads me into the living room. Books cover the walls, crammed into too few bookcases. If Kakarot doesn't seem like a brother to me, then it's Gohan who's taken his place. He understands me almost intuitively, and has almost from the first. I feel comfortable around him, like I don't have to always be on the defensive for something unexpected, some new scary feeling. I just nod at his observation, shrugging.

"You know how it is, Gohan." He nods back, sitting down on the couch and inviting me to do so with a subtle gesture of his hand.

"I do. So what brings you here today?" Maybe it's because he's a bit of an outsider, too. He had to grow up so fast as a kid. I've gotten over most of my guilt for my part in that, but it still hurts to realize that he was only five and a half when he was taken away from his family, forced to become the defender of a planet he had only seen about two square miles of up until that day.

"Well, it seems I've been roped into taking Goten and Trunks out this Friday. Because of _you_," I add, scowling at him. He just laughs, holding his hands up as though helpless.

"Hey, Videl has been bugging me to take her out for _ages_! With school just starting, I've been really overloaded at work. I'm not about to break our date." I can only smile understandingly. I wouldn't want to break a date with Videl, either. She has one wicked temper, more dangerous than her mother-in-law's for how cold it can burn. Of course, Gohan rarely had it directed his way...he and Videl seemed so crazy in love it was hard to remember they'd be together for years now.

"Anyways, your dad cleared me up on what this club is _for_. Dancing," I exhale a heavy sigh. I love dancing...but not in front of a bunch of gawking humans. "But I have no idea of what to expect at this place! And Trunks is saying I have to wear some strange clothes, and Chichi wants me to be sure I keep those two out of trouble and..." I trail off lamely. I would have never agreed if I knew what kind of headache this was going to be.

"And you want me to fill you in a little, right?" asks Gohan. "Poor, alien Raditz," he singsongs mockingly. I just snort.

"Yeah, yeah, Gohan, just give me the details and you can call me your auntie for all I care." The easy rapport we share allows for a great deal of leeway. Sometimes his more human ways make me want to scream, but honestly I can forgive Gohan most anything.

He grins at me, and the lost child flashes through. "Well, I'm not sure where to start. Because there's a lot of trouble to get into. You're going to Manmade God, right? The place Yamcha used to take Bulma waaaay back when?" I nod apprehensively.

"Huh. Well, there's the bar, and Trunks at the very least is probably going to try and get you to buy them drinks. They're too young. And a drunk Trunks and Goten is more than you can handle on your first time out, I think. There's also a rather a lot of predatory men and women there that would just _love_ to get a taste of some fresh meat like you'll be escorting, so you'll have to watch out for that. It's pretty noisy and dark in there, too, so you may have a difficult time keeping track of them if they decide to ditch you. I think some people do E in the bathrooms, maybe a little coke, so there's another thing to watch out for. Hmmm..." he considers me thoughtfully. "I _think_ that about covers it."

"Oh, good Gods," I groan, leaning forward to bury my face in my hands. "No wonder Chichi didn't want Kakarot to go." Gohan's laughter is hardly comforting as he chimes in his agreement.

"On the plus side, they're going to _love_ you there," he adds impishly, and I meet his dancing black eyes with some annoyance.

"Why's that?"

"Oh, club goers like anything new and unusual. And you pretty much fit that bill, my giant uncle."

"Great, just absolutely fan-fucking-tastic." I sigh and flop back against the couch. "Hey, Gohan?"

"Yes, my sadly doomed friend?"

"What do you think about Trunks?"

His face gets a suddenly serious expression, like a light going out. "What do you mean, Raditz?" he asks, voice quiet. I'm startled, and look over at him, my face openly curious. He sighs, and touches his fingers lightly to his forehead.

"It's a long story," he begins before I can even ask. "And it has nothing to do with the Trunks you know, so don't worry about it." I'm completely baffled, and say so. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it, but I keep staring at him, and he finally collapses backwards in his chair, covering his eyes fully with his hand. 

"You've heard about Mirai Trunks, right?" he asks, and I curse myself for a fool. Of course, if it's not the Trunks I know, it must be this other one Kakarot told me about. I start to nod, then remembering he's not looking at me.

"Yeah, I've heard about him."

"When he was here, I was just a child. But I had seen...a lot. More than I should have, I think sometimes. I didn't feel like a child most of the time. And how I felt about him wasn't very childish, either. I was in love with him. Hopelessly, of course, Trunks had no interest in me as anything other than...well, a friend I suppose. You see, he was in love with another version of me, an older version he remembered. It was all pretty confusing, I guess. Then everything ended, he went back to where he came from, and I was left wondering if I had said something, would he have stayed?" His voice softens on this last question, and it holds a deep sorrow I instinctively understand. Regret for things not said, not resolved. "Would he have waited for me, until I was old enough to know what love really was?"

I'm shocked to hear this from Gohan, though. He seemed so deliriously happy with his wife. "What about Videl?"

"I love Videl very much. I've never regretted marrying her, and now I have my beautiful daughter. But I hope Trunks never comes back." He finally uncovers his eyes, looks at me with a terrible indecision there. "I hope I'm never faced with having to choose."

I don't know what to say. It's overwhelming, to hear this secret side of my nephew, to realize that he trusted me with it. I blurt out suddenly, "I won't say anything, Gohan."

He smiles tiredly, and suddenly I feel like he's the elder of us. "I know that Raditz. I wouldn't have told you if I didn't know that." He glances over at one of the groupings of photos on his wall, this a collection of Pan at different ages. "That's a part of my past, though. I suppose you're concerned with the here and now, with your Trunks."

My Trunks? I have to think a moment back to my original question. "Oh. Yeah. He struck me as kinda...odd, I guess."

"Odd?" Gohan sounds slightly taken aback. "Well, he's a bit of a hellion, honestly. He was always the one getting him and Goten in trouble when they were kids, and since they've gotten older, he's been taking the whole teenage rebellion thing pretty seriously."

"Is this the same Trunks we're talking about?" I ask, thinking to that neatly pressed young man who had seemed so hesitant with me. He was a troublemaker? Admittedly, he seemed to get a bit cockier around Goten, but not _that_ much cockier. Maybe he did take after his father.

"Why, what was your assessment?"

"Well," I consider my words carefully, "He seemed like he had a stick firmly lodged up his ass, if you ask me. And he was so quiet, almost nervous, at first."

Gohan rubs his chin speculatively. "He used to be that way when he was much younger, whenever he met someone new. I thought he'd left that behind with his baby teeth, but I guess you triggered something." He grins suddenly, onyx eyes flashing. "He's got a pretty big daddy complex, maybe you feed nicely into that."

"What?" Then again, he did say I looked a bit like his dad...oh, Gods, what am I getting myself into?


	7. Six

I stare despondently around the store, listening with only half an ear as Trunks and Goten chatter to each other. Well, Goten chatters, and Trunks injects wry comments and laughter. This place is way beyond my league. Goten told me Trunks was wealthy, but this kind of conspicuous consumption is overwhelming. I find myself unwrapping and rewrapping my tail as I stare at the tastefully placed racks of clothes, noticing the too-hip-for-the-room salespeople staring at me with small sneers.

"Wow, Trunks, I didn't know rich people wore this kind of stuff!" Goten exclaims. "Mom would have a fit if she saw me in here!" Indeed, the selection runs heavily to black leather and things with way too many straps. The salespeople are the type that have multiple piercings, all done in diamonds and gold. Pretending to be dangerous with Daddy's money. I straighten up a little, and glare back at the woman with the thousand-dollar blue dye job, baring my teeth and unleashing my tail, daring her to say something. She blanches a bit whiter than her make-up, and I nod in satisfaction. No way some upstart human is going to make me feel inferior. 

Trunks is stalking around like he owns the place, occasionally fingering some unfathomable collection of chains and straps or bit of silk. Goten trails behind providing running commentary. "How do you wear _that_? Oh wow...is that for a man or woman? Where do your arms go? Oh, that's for...OH! Now that's interesting...how much...good Dende! Jeez, Trunks, do you come in here much?"

"Sometimes," Trunks answers vaguely. "Why do you think they're letting us look around without bugging us? They know me...and they know I don't like people hovering." He pushes a long strand of lilac behind his ear, and looks back over his shoulder at me. "See anything you like, Raditz?"

"This isn't really my kind of...place." I know I sound a bit sullen. But I've finally been starting to feel at home on this planet. Then I get thrust into a place like this, something totally alien to my experiences. I don't belong here, in my plain black t-shirt and jeans. It leaves me feeling confused, shaken. And worse, I have to rely on this smug kid. At least Goten seems as befuddled as me, though he handles it better, with his impenetrable shield of cheerful curiosity. I wish I could be open as he is to new experiences, but I just feel out of it. And the slightly shy boy I met a week ago at the house is gone, replaced by this blue-eyed devil, quick with the scathing comment, perfectly at home with the humans who work here bowing their heads to him, like the prince he is. So much like his father...it hurts my heart. But still, I can't stop watching him.

He's nodding to me, turning around now. "Yeah...you're more of a simple kind of guy, aren't you?" I refrain from baring my teeth again, this time at him. "Clothing-wise, I mean," he adds, and it's impossible to tell whether he really meant that, or if he was poking fun at me. I feel so off balance here! Get me and this kid alone in the middle of the woods, I'd teach him a lesson or two. My blood boils at the thought, even as I remember how much infinitely stronger his is than me. Somehow that makes it even more exciting.

"I don't feel like I need clothes to impress anyone," I growl back, letting my tail swish tauntingly behind me. I cross my arms over a chest that seems massive compared to these two, and Trunks lets a mysterious smile cross his lips. Is he playing with me? Fine, I'll play back. I played with the best, after all, and Trunks is not yet his father's equal.

"No, of course not," he purrs. "I suppose the afterlife doesn't provide much along those lines anyway, does it?"

I snort, letting my eyes crawl suggestively up his body. "No, we were always busy with....other...things." I inwardly grin as a delicate flush of crimson colors his cheeks. He wasn't expecting me to go that direction. Heh. But now Goten is looking at him, then at me, and a careful frown draws his brows down. He isn't as good at hiding his intelligence as his father, and my inward triumph sours. I want to tell him, 'Look, kid, you have nothing to worry about from _me_. I went that route once before, and it left my heart broken and bleeding on the floor. I don't need another prince in my life.' But I can't say anything. Instead I just turn my head away, staring sightlessly at the merchandise surrounding me. A sudden laugh from my nephew draws me back, though.

"Man, Raditz, you like to bug people, don't you?" Trunks is looking in surprise at his friend, and I smile in relief. Maybe he's even brighter than he tries not to look. Aren't teenagers supposed to be terribly insecure? I sure as hell was at that age.

"Sorry, I'll try and tone it down," I shrug, still grinning.

"You better," he warns, "Or we'll make you wear _this,_" holding up an impossible concoction of black and red lace strung together with delicate chains. I can't help it, I wince, and he laughs again. "Come on, Trunks," he urges, "Show us the stuff that won't get us arrested." The young prince throws up his hands in defeat, laughing, leading us to the back of the store where the clothes become somewhat more sedate. At least, sedate enough that I don't feel embarrassed just looking at them. Admittedly, I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but some things just don't need such complicated props.

"Okay, you guys look around, " Trunks commands, "See if you like anything. But I've got presidential veto. Okay?" Goten nods eagerly, and I just shrug again. I wonder if any human store is going to be able to cater to Saiyan tastes...but then, Prince Vegeta seems to be able to find plenty of stuff, so there must be something. I can't trust all these demi-Saiyans. Gohan, while being a rather fine example of our species, has a tendency towards button-downs and vests. Nice, especially on his frame, but hardly aggressive enough. Goten seems to go more for loose casual, hiding his lean and muscular frame, and making him seem sometimes far younger than he is. My brother is as bad as the rest of them; he would wear his gi all the time if Chichi let him, and tends to let her pick his clothes. I remember that awful brown suit...

After some searching, I finally find some pants that don't seem too overdone, and a shirt that seems appropriately fierce. It takes more digging to find them in my size. I hold them up for Trunks' approval, pulling him away from he and Goten's conferral over a pair of leather pants. Finally, he nods, but then tells me I have to find some shoes. Groaning, I make my way over to the rather small selection they have on the wall, and peer at them. They run heavy to boots, but that's okay, I like boots. If I have to cover my feet, it might as well be with something militaristic. I try to ignore to small human man who stands hopefully nearby, but I can't help muttering as I pull down yet another pair, "These are never going to fit. Why have they only got one shoe of each out here anyway?"

The man clears his throat, and I look over in irritation. "If the size you'd like isn't on the sales floor, I'd be happy to get a pair for you in the back," he offers, delicate fingers pushing nervously at his longish brown hair.

"Yeah, fine," I growl, shoving a black boot at him. He takes it hastily, but then just stand there, staring. "What?"

"Um...I need to know your size, sir," he murmurs, looking down at my feet, then up at me. A bold smile crosses his lips, and he adds, "You must be rather...large...sir."

"Yeah, no shit." Wow, do these humans have a penchant for stating the obvious! Of course, I don't actually know my shoe size...sighing, I reach down and pull off one of the battered canvas sneakers that pass for my footwear when I'm not allowed to go barefoot. Peering inside, I can barely make out the little number printed into the side. "Nineteen," I read off, looking back up at the guy. He's staring at me again, and my tail dances my aggravation out behind me. "What?!"

"Ah...I'm not sure we have them in that size," he explains. He talks as though in a trance, but at least he isn't staring at my tail. I growl, and he snaps out quickly, "But I'll go look, sir!" He disappears into a little curtained doorway at the back of the store, and I settle down to wait. But masculine laughter turns me around. Goten and Trunks are standing behind me, my nephew with his hand behind his head like his father, and Trunks directing a dry grin at me.

"Wow, maybe you can get a date for tomorrow," the pale prince taunts, and I frown.

"What, the shoe guy? Not my type." I run a hand through my hair, shrugging.

"I would hope not!' Trunks snorts, and I notice the slightly hurt flinch in Goten's eyes. I wonder what it's for?

"Yeah, humans really don't do it for me," I continue in explanation. "I've never really liked guys that couldn't beat me in a fair fight."

Both Trunks and Goten look surprised...Goten, in fact, looks shocked, when the salesman comes back, effectively cutting off further conversation. "It's your lucky day, sir!" He's beaming ecstatically, you'd think he'd just won Shoe Guy of the Year, or something. "My manager had these special ordered a while back for another customer who never picked them up." He holds up a box. "Would you like to try them on?" He seems eager, but having a new perspective on his attentions makes me wary.

"Nah, I'm sure they're fine." I turn to Trunks and Goten. "You guys done?" My nephew nods, a sunny smile lighting his face and replacing the look of surprise. Trunks mimics the gesture, but a thoughtful expression darkens his eyes. With a start, I realize they're the exact color of the sky at sunset; a blue so deep and fathomless I feel like I could fall forever into them. 

"Then let's get out of here," I say, and Trunks sighs. 

"I do have to pay for all this stuff, first," he says, and Goten turns that brilliant grin on his best friend. 

"Oh yeah! Thanks so much, Trunks! But I guess we better keep this stuff at your place. Mom would get really pissed if she knew I was going to wear _that_," he laughs. Trunks nods in agreement, a wolfish smile making him look positively wicked. I wonder if they can hear how loud my heart is beating?

"No problem," he says airily. "It's worth it to see you guys in this stuff." Goten colors, and punches Trunks in the shoulder lightly. He trails after the prince to the counter, and I remain near the door, grateful that this confusing afternoon is coming to close. The two boys gather up the bags, and head for me and the door. 

Goten chimes out happily, "Oh, hey, let's go get some ice cream while we're here!" As Trunks nods in agreement, I sigh. This afternoon, it appears, is far from over.


	8. Seven

I watch Chichi pull her purse off the table, and turn to my brother. "Ready?" she asks cheerily, and he nods. Then she turns those sharp black eyes to me. "Raditz, I'm trusting you with Goten." Her voice is tense, worried, like it always is whenever she hands over the reins of her children to anyone else. "Make sure he's back by midnight, alright? And don't let him drink. And keep your eyes on him! And don't let that Trunks talk you into anything."

"Chichi," Kakarot interrupts gently, "I'm sure they'll be fine. Goten's a good kid, and Raditz knows to be careful."

Chichi just snorts, and throws up her hands. "I know, I know…I just…" she looks at me almost pleadingly, and I try to imitate my brother's reassuring smile.

"I'll watch them close, promise." Of course, I have no intention of doing anything else, but I'm not so confident in my own ability to keep two teenage boys out of trouble in a completely alien environment. Better not let _her_ know that, though.

She nods, and take a deep breath. "Okay, you have the number of the restaurant we'll be at, and we should be home around nine or ten, so you can call us here if there are any problems." I nod back, patting my breast pocket where the folded piece of paper with the numbers on it sits snugly. Kakarot winks at me over his wife's shoulder, and I stifle my returning grin. Damn, but my little brother looks stupid in that brown suit. The things Chichi gets him to wear! But his face is still the same over the too tight collar: half knowing and half clueless. Which half is more honest, I still can't tell.

"Bye, Chichi," I say firmly, and watch Kakarot escort her out the door, breathing a sigh of relief as it closes behind them. Finally gone!

As soon as I see their small air car disappear over the trees, I pick up the phone. I've only used it once or twice, and it's fairly primitive, but I think I've got the hang of it. The only hard thing is to remember to keep it up against my ear and mouth. I dial the number Goten gave me and listen to the tinny '_ring-ring'_.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the phone is throaty and low, and sounds somewhat irritated. Oh, Gods. It's Vegeta.

I pull in a somewhat shaky breath. I haven't seen him, heard his voice for months, since I first came back. "Is Goten there?" I ask, proud that my voice doesn't crack or falter. I almost sound normal. Yeah, right.

"Yes…wait, who is this?" He's suspicious. "Is this Raditz?" Now he's angry, and I can feel his scowl through the line. I close my eyes, and imagine that glorious face glowering at me. My heart skips a beat and I lean my head back against the wall. Okay, time to do what's terrified and thrilled me every time I run it through my head, whenever I fantasize about something like this.

"Yeah, it is, _Vegeta_." I make my voice a challenge. "Now, can I talk to my nephew or are you gonna keep me on the line yapping all night?" I did it. I did it! Oh, is he going to be pissed.

"WHAT?! Did you forget who you're talking to, you unevolved piece of trash?" Really pissed.

"How could I forget?" I taunt over the phone, adrenaline pouring through my bloodstream like liquid fire. "You remind everyone around you whenever you open your big mouth. Maybe you should find something to fill it, hm?"

His answering growl is rising in pitch rapidly, and I'm pretty sure I've just signed my own death warrant, when I hear Goten's voice in the background.

"Um, Vegeta? Is that my uncle?" His voice is cautious. He's smarter than to bait his prince. Not me, though. I can hear the heavy breathing on the other end of the line as Vegeta brings his temper under control.

"Yes," he grinds out, "It is. Is there some _reason_ he's calling here?"

"Yeah, uh, I left some of my homework in my room, and I asked him to look for it and call me if he found it. You know, because I have to do it before me and Trunks go out tonight?" Goten is lying, but he's doing a pretty good job of covering it up. Hmm, maybe he is a bit smarter than his father.

I hear a low growl, then a loud crash. It sounds like the phone got thrown into a wall or something, but I'm still connected. Footsteps, then, "Raditz?"

"Hey, kid. Your folks are gone. You gonna head over?" I can hear Vegeta smashing things in the background, then another voice. Trunks? He's saying something to Vegeta, and Vegeta is snarling back. Family fight. I can practically hear Goten wince.

"Yeah, as soon as Trunks and his dad stop shouting at each other." The voices in the background _are_ getting louder. Goten lowers his voice, and adds, "Vegeta doesn't know you're…uh…taking us out tonight. But I think he knows something is up. I'll try to get us out of here as soon as possible, okay?"

I nod, then remember, "Okay. I'll be waiting."

"Man, you gotta tell me what you said to Vegeta when we get over there. He's really ticked!" Goten laughs, and hangs up before I can tell him he's not old enough for that stuff yet. Or maybe he is. I don't know. Both Goten and Trunks act very much like Saiyan teenagers in some ways, but they seem so undeveloped in other areas. Maybe because they didn't spend their lives fighting. Would Gohan be like that if he had had a "normal" life? 

I pace the floor waiting for the boys to arrive, wondering if an enraged Vegeta will get here first and end my short existence on this planet. I find myself not really caring, and the feeling is liberating. If it's time for me to go, I'll go down swinging, though. I'm not going to live as anyone's servant, anyone's vassal, not anymore. If I have to live with all this crap on Earth, I'm going to get something out of it, too! I have to laugh at myself, and my foolish bravado. No matter how good it feels, it isn't going to stop me from getting beaten or killed if Vegeta decides to direct his fury my way.

I feel about ten years younger, though. Thirty years ago, before I knew what it was like to have a broken heart, before I knew I had anything to lose, back when I used to pick fights with Zarbon just for fun. I almost won sometimes, too. I find a little extra bounce in my step as I pace, remembering those times. Before Frieza destroyed my home, before I even had an interest in my prince. Is it wrong to remember fondly the times when I used to slaughter entire cities without a thought?

The sound of the door opening cuts off any further reflections I have, and I find myself crouching in the middle of the living, listening, ready. "Raditz?" Ah, it's Goten…then a low voice murmuring something to my nephew. Trunks. I rise, and walk through the kitchen, spotting the two boys with their hands full of yesterday's purchases. They grin at me, one light, one dark, and I find myself infected, smiling back. That adrenaline is still running through my system, and it feels damn good.

"We better get changed!" Goten exclaims, passing me a bag. I nod, and notice that Trunks has brought an extra bag of stuff, a black duffel.

"How'd you get out of there without Vegeta stopping you?" I ask curiously. The lilac haired boy just smirks, and Goten bursts out laughing, silvery peals filling the entranceway.

"Oh, Trunks told his dad that Bulma had been bitching about the gravity room, saying it was too much of a pain to upkeep, and she was going to use it for storage. Man, Vegeta was out of there like a shot! So we took off out the window. Hey, what'd you say to him to get him so pissed, anyways?"

I feel a slow flush of warmth over my cheeks. "Never mind, kid," I say hastily, and Trunks broadens his smirk.

"I bet _I_ know," he states smugly, and Goten looks over at him, black eyes wide.

"Well?!" he asks impatiently, but Trunks just shakes his head, and starts up the stairs, Goten bounding behind him. "Come _ON_, Trunks, you gotta tell me!" I hear the older boy's laughter disappearing into Goten's room, and I shake my head. Kid's probably just bluffing, trying to mess with Goten. No way he knows about what his dad and I used to get up to. I retreat to Gohan's room, pulling out my recent purchases.

It doesn't take me long to get dressed, and I slip into the hall to examine myself in the full length mirror. Not bad, not bad at all. I smile ferally at my reflection, brushing a hand through my loose hair. The black leather pants fit perfectly, snug against my thick thighs and calves. It was hard finding some not festooned with buckles and chains, but I finally found a nice plain pair in my size. Nothing to interrupt the smooth flow of hide over my legs. They go perfectly with the heavy black motorcycle boots. The shirt had been harder to choose, but I finally decided on a long sleeved black shirt made of a sort of net or mesh. It does very little in the way of coverage, but a whole lot in the way of showing off my broad, scarred chest and back. I flex, and snarl at myself. Very aggressive. Perfect.

Then I have to laugh. All this to take a couple of kids out. It's not like I'm going to find anyone to take home with me. Just a bunch of humans. But still, I like dressing up, like the formidable image I present, like pretending I'm a kid again, on the prowl. Most of the time I don't think much about my looks, or how other people perceive me. It's just too much effort to care. But there's something marvelous about walking into a room and having people stare at you with that little extra gleam in their eye. It's a harmless power trip, and if I have to go through the head-ache of keeping these kids out of trouble, I might as well enjoy myself a little, too.

I poke my head into Goten's room to see if the kids are done, but frown into the blackness. No one. Then I hear young male voices in the bathroom, and duck back out into the hall. I knock on the bathroom door and hear a giggling "Come in!"

Neither of them have gotten dressed yet, they're both standing around in their t-shirts, messing with some sort of face paint. I frown, trying to puzzle it out, but give up quickly. "What are you guys doing?"

"Make-up!" exclaims Goten, giggling again, and wiggling his fingers at me. The nails are covered in shiny polish, like Chichi wears sometimes, except black.

"Just a little," adds Trunks, staring intently in the mirror as he uses a black pencil to outline his eyes. His longish hair is tucked behind his ears, but it comes loose silkily, and he frowns, pulling back from the mirror. "Maybe it's time to cut it again," he mutters to himself. I start at Goten's little cry of dismay.

"Man, Trunks, you're always cutting it before it can get really long! Let it grow for once, huh?" Silently I agree with my nephew…I've seen pictures of a younger Trunks with short hair, and thought it made him look like a little kid, despite his well developed body. "Besides," Goten continues reasonably, "Your hair grows so fast, it'll only take another six months or so for it to get past your shoulders!"

Trunks laboriously tucks the errant strands behind his ear again as he turns back to the fastidious application of eye-liner. "Well, maybe," he concedes, rimming the left eye in kohl. "What do you think, Raditz?"

"I like it better long," I admit, shrugging. "But then, I'm a little biased." Goten grins at me, and turns to Trunk's reflection.

"See! And doesn't Raditz look cool with all that long hair?" he crows, sure he'll win.

"Why don't you grow _your _hair long, then, Goten?" Trunks teases, running a hand through his friend's short spikes, ruffling them. Goten sticks his tongue out, grimacing.

"I wish I could! But it's just like dad's hair…it doesn't really get longer, it gets…well, bigger, just sticks out a lot more. I suppose if I let it go for a few years it might get heavy enough to hang down, but who wants to look like a bottlebrush for two years?"

"You didn't mind when you were a kid," Trunks grins to himself in the mirror, pulling out a small compact of black eye shadow.

"Trunks!" Goten hollers, punching his friend in the arm. 

"Your grandfather had hair like that," I comment quietly, and Goten turns his attention to me. Trunks, too, watching me out of the corner of one deep blue eye.

"No, granddad had grey hair…oh! You mean…you mean your dad? From Vegeta-sei?" Goten's eyes seem enormous, rimmed with a rather sloppy line of black eye liner. Trunks notices this, too, and grabs a tissue, wetting it in the sink before grabbing Goten's chin to hold it still. The younger boy ignores him as he continues to look questioningly at me.

"Yeah. My father, and Kakarot's. His name was Bardock. He died when Frieza destroyed our home." I can't keep the slow sorrow out of my voice, and I remember my father. He was a harsh man, totally uncompromising. I wonder what Kakarot would have been like had he been raised by the man. "You look a lot like him. Your father looks _exactly_ like him, except he had scars on his face, here," I run my finger along my cheek. "And slightly darker skin. It was your grandmother than was so pale." Goten is staring at me, one eye squeezed shut as Trunks removes the liner and reapplies it neatly.

"Wow," he says quietly. "Dad never talks about him."

"Your father was just a baby when he was sent here. He probably doesn't even remember our father." I think back to the screaming infant that was my little brother before Father sent him away. I was still a child when he was born, and I had been looking forward to have someone younger than myself to push around, to show off to, to take care of. I sigh, and shake off the melancholy, watching the two boys with some amusement.

"You look like you've done this before, Trunks, " I note wryly as the older boy finishes with my nephew and turns back to the mirror.

"Oh, it's not hard," he says airily. "Mom taught me how when she burned her hands fixing one of the air bikes, because she couldn't do it for herself. Bra's always bugging me to play dress-up with her." He grimaces into the mirror, then leans back, studying himself thoughtfully. "Well?" he asks me, turning and gesturing at Goten's face.

I'm pretty surprised, they actually both look pretty good with eyeliner. Goten's eyes stand out starkly against his pale skin, his black irises looking even larger than usual. Trunks has opted for a dark smear of eye shade as well, and his gorgeous blue eyes seem to be swimming in shadow. "Not bad," I offer, smiling.

"Okay, then, your turn," Trunks commands imperially, and I find myself taking a step forward, then stopping.

"No, not for me," I shake my head, backing up again.

"Oh, come on, Raditz," Goten coaxes, smiling at me hopefully.

"Face paint, that's for boys," I mutter. I'm far too old for this sort of thing. Wasn't I just thinking there was no reason to even get this dressed up? So what would I do with that face paint that screamed predator?

"You're not THAT old!" Goten laughs. "I mean, you're older than Dad, but you were dead for twenty years or something!"

"I'm 28," I mumble. It's funny how easily my young nephew can disarm me.

"There, see, not even that much older than us!" he exclaims, walking over to tug me by the arm into the bright light of the bathroom.

"You're way too tall," Trunks looks me over critically. "You're going to have to sit on the toilet lid." He waves me over, and I sit, a bit hesitantly. It puts my face about level with his chest, and he looks down at me thoughtfully. "I think we'll go with the red, too," he decides, reaching over to grab two of the slender pencils. "Okay, hold still."

His fingers feel cool against my forehead as he tilts my head back to get a better angle. "Close your eyes," he directs, and then I feel the cold, soft tip of the eyeliner pressed against my right eyelid. I take in a quick breath in surprise, and my nostrils are filled with an almost delicate scent. Musky, the slight tang of young male sweat, and something underneath, something dark and enticing. I can feel his breath on my upturned face as he draws a slow, deliberate line across my eyelid, and I can hear a very quiet noise of moisture. He's licking his lip…no, the pencil as he continues it's careful tracery.

All of a sudden my heart feels trapped in my chest, and I surreptitiously draw in a deeper breath. "Okay, open your eyes." Uh-oh. I try to gain control of my racing pulse as I blink my eyes open, staring into his face only inches from me. Those eyes…it's so easy to lose myself in their indigo depths as he pulls forth another pencil, this one a bright scarlet. Golden fingers pull down on my lower eyelid, and he colors the very inside of the lid, between the lashes and whites. Then he runs the black pencil below the lashes.

"What do you think, Goten?" he asks, admiring his handiwork. How can he not notice how he's trapped me? I can feel my tail dancing slowly behind me, rubbing across the cold porcelain. My nephew peers over his shoulder, and I force myself to look at him, calm myself with that familiar black stare and sunny smile.

"Awesome!" Goten declares, and Trunks nods as though he knew it all along.

"Close them again," he murmurs, as he moves in to work on my other eye. Everywhere he touches tingles, little miniature electric shocks running through my body. I have no idea what's happening. No, I'm lying to myself, I know exactly what's happening, I just don't know why it's happening with him. When he commands my eyes open again, I take my time, staring up at him while it's safe. After what seems like hours, he finishes. "Go look in the mirror," he smirks, and I stand, repressing a shudder as my body brushes past his in the small space.

I stare into the mirror, almost shocked. The red combined with the black make my eyes stand out boldly…in an almost exact duplication of the coloring of Oozaru form. It lends a sort of primitive ferocity to my face that I can't help but admire. I grin, exposing my slightly elongated canines. Normally, they don't look much different than human teeth, but with the eyes, they suddenly stand out. I laugh in delight. Goten grins behind me, and with our matching eyes, the family resemblance is suddenly apparent.

"Okay, if everyone can take time off from admiring themselves, me and Goten need to get dressed," Trunks grumbles good naturedly, and I throw myself one last smirk before allowing myself to be shooed out.

"I'll wait downstairs," I call to the closing door, still chuckling to myself as I jog down the stairs and settle on the couch to wait. I turn on the radio, humming softly to myself, bouncing my feet in time. I hear footsteps on the stairs, but only one pair? Then my nephew's head pokes around the corner. He smiles at me, a bit hesitantly, and I wonder what's going on.

"Where's Trunks?" I ask as he sidles into the room. I'm distracted from his nervous expression for a minute by his outfit.

He, too, wears tight fitting leather pants, but these are laced up the sides, exposing a line of flesh all the way up from his black boots to his hips, showing off the lean muscle there. His boots are ankle length lace-ups, army type boots. Two shirts, the first long sleeved, black-and-red striped, the sleeves falling to just below his wrists. Over that a black t-shirt with some sort of white writing on the front, lots of small words. I peer at it curiously, and see that it's just the word "fuck" in various styles of lettering. Both shirts are fitted well to his long, slender frame, but not so tight as to be obscene. Topping it all off, a black collar at his throat, adorned with vicious looking spikes. All and all a very assertive little outfit, different from his usual attire. I smile up at him, proud of my nephew, happy to see his Saiyan blood displayed so blatantly.

"He's still dressing," Goten mumbles, coming to sit over next to me, his demeanor completely at odds with the in-your-face clothing. "Uncle Raditz," he continues, not looking at me. "Are you gay?"

I blink. I have no idea what he's talking about, but it's obviously a very important question to him. "How do you mean?" I ask cautiously.

"I mean, do you like other men? Like, sexually?" his words rush out, and I can see the crimson flush staining his cheeks. The kid's embarrassed about this! I can't for the life of me figure out why, and I get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know what I'm supposed to say here, but I have the very strong suspicion if I say the wrong thing, it's really going to hurt Goten. So I decide I'll try to be honest here, hope it's the right thing.

"Yeah, Goten, I do. I always have. Why?"

"Well, don't you feel, like, bad about it? It's not supposed to be that way." I can hear the shame in his voice, and I wonder, with anger kindling, who told him that.

"I don't know anything about supposed to's…it's just the way I am. Why should I feel bad about it?" I let a little of my anger through, and I see his shoulders hunch.

"It's just…it's just not right. You know, men aren't…" he trails off quietly, his voice almost a whisper. I'm really pissed off now, and it doesn't take much to see that Goten's nervous about this because he feels the same way I do, and somewhere down the line, someone's drilled it into his head that there's something wrong with him because of it.

"Look, Goten, I don't know who fed you what line of bullshit, but that's all it is. Bullshit." My voice is low with my outrage. "Who the hell cares who fucks what, as long as everybody involved wants to be there? I like men, yeah, so fucking what? I don't give your dad a hard time because he's got a woman for his partner, even if she doesn't turn my crank! People are different, that's it, and it's nobody's business what you want to do and who you want to do it with." I smile suddenly, "Unless you like to do it in public, and then it's on your own head, but I still say more power to you."

His face is still flushed and embarrassed, but I see a small smile creep over his face, and I let out a quiet breath of relief. Looks like that was the right thing to say, after all. I lean forward and pat him lightly on the shoulder, a bit awkwardly. He turns and hugs me. I'll never get used to how easily that kid'll just grab onto somebody. Through the thin mesh of my shirt I can feel a slight wetness…has he been crying? He pulls back, looking down at the floor again, swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Am I interrupting something?" Trunks' voice holds a note of sarcasm, and we both look up at him silhouetted in the doorway. I know my mouth falls open, and I think Goten's does, too, but I don't know for sure because I can't stop staring at the young prince.

He's shorter and stockier than Goten, broader through the shoulders, but with slender hips. Everything he wears looks poured on, emphasizing every well-defined muscle in his body. Black pants of some shiny material, maybe vinyl, adorned with multiple buckles and zippers ride low on his hips, held up just barely by a studded belt. There's a tantalizing flash of flesh, the jut of hipbones, then a skin-tight sleeveless shirt, grey-green, looks like it's made of python skin. Heavy, clunky black boots merely serve to contrast the perfect flow and curve of his legs as he stands there, practically posing. Stout leather cuffs grace his wrists, dangling heavy steel d-rings. His shining lilac hair hangs in his face, for once not tucked behind an ear, and it lends a sinister cast to his normally friendly features.

"Wow, Trunks, you look _great_," Goten finally gets out, his natural enthusiasm suddenly back full force. I simply nod my agreement, and Trunks flashes a grin, spinning in the doorway, young once more and showing off. Not that young, I note, swallowing audibly at the flash of an amazingly tight ass, before closing my eyes and groaning. Gohan was right…tonight was going to be hell. But for very different reasons than he thought.


	9. Eight

(song contained herein is "Hard to Explain" as performed by the Cowboy Junkies)

We decided to fly there, though it really wasn't much of a decision, since none of us had a car. Trunks offered to run home to get one, but Goten quickly vetoed that, reminding his reckless friend of an irate father waiting for just such a chance. So we flew, and now we're standing in the front of this rather shabby looking black building with no windows and a big red neon sign. Trunks is exchanging slim pieces of paper in return for entrance. Tickets, I guess. Then I have to submit to having the back of my hand stamped before following the boys in.

The interior is just as dark as Gohan warned me it would be, and a number of smells assault my senses. Sweaty bodies, the lower musk of arousal, the sharp tang of burning leaves and tar, a sort of biting smell that must be alcohol. My tail lashes slowly behind me as I move smoothly through the press of bodies, following a lavender head of hair. I can feel the eyes as we slip through the crowd, and I smile wolfishly. Oh yeah, I remember this.

The music playing is not what Kakarot had told me to expect, though, and I hear Trunks' explanation floating back to me, "Oh, we must be catching the tail end of the live act." Hmm. We squeeze in and find the dance floor mostly cleared, just a small knot of people right in front of the stage. The majority of people are grouped tightly around the bar, talking and yelling to each other, sniffing each other out, looking for weaknesses. Trunks stops in an open space, turns to Goten, smiling.

"I'm going to go get us some drinks," he explains, and gestures to a table with only two people sitting at it. "You guys wait here." He moves past me quickly, and I remember I'm not supposed to let him or Goten drink. Then again, they wouldn't let underage people buy it here, would they? Probably not. I let him go, turning back to my nephew, who's politely asking the other people at the table if they mind if we sit there. A young couple, she a mousy blonde with a sunny smile to match Goten's, her friend a slender brunette with a lean, harsh face. She doesn't smile, but nods, and Goten plops into one of the two remaining seats. I choose to stay standing, leaning on the empty chair, and watch the stage.

A group of humans, mostly long haired and dark. A woman seems to be the singer, and she's got a mournful, throbbing voice that I like. I find myself swaying to the end of the song, disappointed when it's over. A kind of bluesy rhythm, then the guitar player's kicking in on the next one, and he's making that instrument howl sweet and low. She starts singing, and at first, I'm not paying attention to what she's saying, but then I hear the chorus.

"_Love is hard to explain,_

I know my loss is someone else's gain"

Damn straight. I lean into the chair, glancing briefly down at Goten. He's deeply engaged in some conversation with the blonde girl, and the darker one is scowling. Jealous, probably.. I wonder how to tell her she's got nothing to worry about.

"_Sometimes love is like a bitter pill_

But we just have to take it like it is

Sometimes live is the sweetest thing

And sometimes it's just naked pain"

And here I thought Saiyans and humans were so different! This woman knows exactly what she's talking about. And the combination of her melancholy voice and the crying guitar make my body want to move. I know my tail is swaying behind me in time, and I see the brunette start in surprise, staring at it. I grin toothily at her and she stares back up at me. Wow, this one's got guts.

"_Oh, it's so hard to explain,_

I know my loss is someone else's gain"

I wonder what Vegeta's doing right now. Is he still fuming? Is he training, throwing himself at the walls and floor with barely checked fury, the way he used to? Or is he eating with his woman, reading the paper, doing something else mundane? My heart still hurts when I think about him, but it's not so bad now. I can almost bear it. I don't even think of him every day anymore, only every other day, maybe. But I let my mind dwell on him now, on the sweet curve of the back of his thigh, the way his tail used to snake around my waist when he was excited.

"_My troubles started when I found you_

But that's when I wrapped my world around you

And now my living ain't so easy

I thought that's what a woman was supposed to do

You see, it's so hard to explain

I know my loss is someone else's gain"

I dealt with his loss quite a while ago. Before I died, in fact. But I never really stopped hurting from it. I had nothing else in my life but him and my work. Now, I have a family, and friends, and a whole set of things to keep me busy, distracted. Like I'm distracting myself. Huh? I think back, let my mind float…am I just thinking about Vegeta to stop myself from thinking about his son? Even as it hits me, I'm scanning the crowd, my eyes finally coming to rest on him leaning on the bar, perfect ass and legs shifting as he waits. I'm not the only one looking. Two men and at least five woman are checking him out as well, several of them being quite obvious about it. I want to walk over there, give them something to remember me by, like a broken nose or some knocked out teeth.

"_I went to see my doctor_

'Cause I thought I had a hole in my heart

But he said, 'Girl, you're just wasting your time.

Because some man messed up

Went and messed up your mind'"

Why don't they show some respect?! The man is a member of the royal house! I push down on the aggressive instinct, unsure of what to do with myself. Why is every time I start a relationship with someone other than a family member, I have to get so mixed up about everything? Next thing you know, I'm going to be trying to jump Krillin. I survey Trunks again, this time a little more objectively. Nah, even on his best day the ex-monk couldn't match that body. Or that attitude. He cocks his hip to the side, then leans forward to shout something to the bartender. I sigh, and thank the gods I have a chair in front of me tall enough to hide my excitement.

"_It's so hard to explain_

I know my loss is someone else's gain

Oh, love, it's so hard to explain

It'll make you forget your name

It'll turn you upside down

It'll make you wish that you'd never been found"

I glance back to the band as they wind down, the woman saying something into the mic, thanking the audience or somesuch. The lights go down on the stage, and the band plus some other people begin clearing away instruments and electronic equipment. I concentrate on that, watching them intently, trying to forget the lavender haired god who would be heading back here all too soon. Finally, I feel my embarrassment easing. Gods, it hasn't been this bad since I was a teenager myself!

I hear Trunks' voice behind me, and I turn. He's carrying three drinks, all of which contain what suspiciously smells like alcohol. One is green, and two are a sort of mellow amber. "I thought you weren't old enough for that," I point out, but he just grins.

"Come on, Raditz, loosen up_. _Haven't you ever heard of a fake ID?" He sets the green drink in front of Goten, who smiles beatifically up at him. "Okay, that's a Kamikaze," he explains. "It should be sweet enough that you can actually drink it." Goten grins, and sips experimentally. His black eyes light up with the knowledge that not only is he about to do something he isn't supposed to, but it's not going to be as unpleasant as he thought.

"These," Trunks continues, handing me a drink, and setting one down in front of the remaining chair, "are Rusty Nails. Yamcha swears by them, so," he shrugs, and I can see he got them because he thought they sounded sophisticated. They smell very strongly of grain liquor, and I hide my grin. No way is he used to the taste. I move out from behind the chair as he slips into it, smiling smoothly to the two girls. "They should start the music soon," he adds to me, nonchalantly taking a sip of his drink. I watch his face carefully.

Yep, there it is, the wince and widening of the eyes. I can't help it, I start laughing low in my throat, and he glares up at me. Goten looks over, and begins giggling, too, the blonde girl staring at him goggle eyed. I shake my head, and lean over to him. "Look, kid, what you have to do is kinda roll it to the back of your tongue if your not used to the taste, let it slide down your throat." I demonstrate with my own drink, swallowing half of it in a go. He looks irritated, but still, he's watching me intently. Nodding, he goes for it again, trying to drink the whole thing at once. I watch in surprise as he actually manages it, though with a great deal of coughing afterwards. Goten collapses back into his chair, holding his stomach.

"Want some of mine?" he offers, grinning hugely. Trunks just scowls at him, in a very good imitation of his father. I toss back the rest of mine, placing the empty glass on the table. This Earth liquor is a little weak, and I don't figure I'll even catch a buzz from it.

"Don't worry about it," I smile down at the young prince. "You're not supposed to be drinking that stuff anyways." Uh-oh. I realize, even as I say it, that it's going to goad him to drink at least two or three more of those until he _does_ get it right, and I'll end up carrying him home. Goten sips more reasonably at his lime concoction. Suddenly, the music starts up, with a pounding bass beat that is more like what my brother had told me to expect. I like this stuff, too, but it renders almost all conversation completely useless. The brunette across the table is hauling her friend up by the wrist, out on to the dance floor. The blonde waves cheerfully to Goten as she's dragged away into the newly forming crowd.

I look down at the two boys, and see that they're leaning in close to each other, yelling in each other's ears. I can't hear a word of it, so I turn back to the dance floor, watching the crowd curiously. As the next song kicks in, I start being able to lump the dancers into groups.

The first group are couples. They come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and dancing abilities. Usually they dance fairly close to each other, some mirroring each, others holding on and actually moving their bodies against their partners. Then there are the people who dance by themselves. Some of these people are not particularly good dancers, but they seem to be enjoying themselves as they sway to the music, most fairly enthusiastic. I can approve of that. The second group of loners consists of people who tend to be fairly dressed up, and they also tend to be somewhat better dancers. Often they're near the back of the floor, where a big mirror covers the wall. Some of them, you can tell, are dancing for specific people, trying to catch an eye in the rest of the crowd. But a lot of them are dancing like…well, they're just posing, really. They're not hearing the music, they're using it as a back drop for their own self admiration. I don't like that, but it's sort of fascinating, in its own way.

I realize I've been watching the crowd for some time when Goten moves up next to me, smiling. I raise my eyebrows at him, and he gestures towards the dance floor, as if in invitation. I realize he's asking me if I want to go out there and dance. I frown, pointing to him, and he throws up his hands, laughing and shaking his head. He points to me again, this time resting his hand lightly on Trunks' shoulder, who's looking up at us coolly. Ah, he's staking his claim. Well, hell, I might as well go out there. After all, I've already broken the rule about alcohol, and somehow I doubt these two are going to take the opportunity to slip into the bathroom for some anonymous sex with strangers. I eye the people near us, scanning for potential threats, and see none. Good enough.

There's one really great thing about hard-soled boots. You're sort of forced to stalk in them, take big, predatory steps. I enjoy the feel of heads turning as I claim a small space of the floor, and just stand there for a minute, getting a feel for the music. Heavy bass beat, rhythmic thumping, cut with aggressive guitar. I let the beat rumble into my bones, and then, with a feral grin, I'm moving.

Damn, but it feels good to just let go, let my body sway and shake, feet moving carefully in the small space. I snap my head around as I dance, half closing my eyes, trying not to be distracted by the stares of admiration tossed my way. It's flattering, but for right now I'm only here for the music, for the beat commanding my body and driving my muscles. It feels glorious to let my hips sway, my arms caress the air…like fighting. I can feel a slow burn beginning in my muscles, the sweat gathering at the back of my neck, but I ignore it, dancing through five songs, then ten. I don't ever want to stop.

I feel the hand moving a second before it reaches my tail. Spinning faster than the human eye can see, I grab the wrist of a startled man. His green eyes are wide as he stares up at me, and he stammers something I can't hear. I snarl at him, moving so that I'm in face, blocking his vision of the rest of the room. He's terrified, I can smell it, and I start to grin, tightening my hold on his wrist. The delicate bones snap under the pressure and his face collapses in agony. I throw him to the floor, and the crowd moves aside for one second, before swallowing him. The whole thing has gotten my blood boiling, and I can feel my tail whipping the back of my thighs excitedly. Maybe it's time I got back to my responsibility.

Goten and Trunks are where I left them, but from the collection of empty glasses on the table, I can see they haven't been bored. Both look fairly flushed, and I wonder if it's from the alcohol, or if they've taken a turn on the dance floor as well. Trunks is staring at me as I approach, blue eyes wide, some emotion on his face I can't quite read. Goten is looking at me too, but with a sort of bright expression of concern. He points off in the direction of the man I just tossed aside, question in his dark eyes. I shrug, wave a dismissive hand back towards the crowd. He ahs, and grins, then leans forward to point at the dancers, then at me, then gives a thumbs up. Uhh…oh, he's saying I'm a good dancer. I smile back in appreciation, and then he points towards the restrooms before heading off that direction.

I look down at Trunks, who is now smiling lazily up at me. I slip onto the bench that the two girls were previously occupying, across from him. I look down at the glasses, and frown at him, but he's still just staring at me, smiling. So I guess getting drunk makes him a bit stupid. Goten seems to be handling his liquor much better, but then again, maybe most of these glasses belong to Trunks. He's rising from his chair now, and I shoot him a questioning glance. He shakes his head as if to say, don't worry, and moves back towards me. Oh, I guess he isn't going anywhere after all. I relax.

It doesn't last long, as he slides his knee along the bench, then lifts it over my legs, and suddenly is sitting straddling me, knees pressed firmly into my hips, settling his weight on my thighs. My entire attention is suddenly focused on the very warm, very attractive prince in my lap, and I draw in a deep breath, confused and a little worried. It's hard to think, though, looking up into that beautifully flushed face framed by a curtain of silken lavender hair. The dark, musky smell I got a whiff of earlier in the evening suddenly fills my nostrils.

"Trunks," I begin, knowing my voice is cracking. "I don't think this is such a good idea. You're drunk, and-" he puts a finger to my lips, stopping me, but he probably can't hear me anyway. He leans in, places his lips at my ear, and I feel my entire body tremble at his touch. Oh shit.

"Mmm, I like the way you dance," he purrs into my ear, wriggling just a little in my lap against my growing erection. I can't stop myself, and I groan. He takes advantage of my open mouth to lean in and kiss me, his tongue darting in immediately to claim my mouth, hands smoothing along the sides of my neck, the cold metal of the rings on his cuffs chill, pressing his chest up against mine. It feels so damn _good_, and I do the one thing I really shouldn't: I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around that slender waist and devouring his mouth hungrily, like a starving man presented with a ten course meal. He tastes divine, the sour tang of whiskey fading to the background of a sweeter flavor, like citrus. He moans into my mouth, I can feel the vibration through his lips, and I press my tongue across his teeth and into that achingly warm cavern.

The slick yet slightly rough feel of his shirt rubs across my nipples, so poorly protected by the mesh shirt. The sensation is electrifying, and I find myself running my hands down his back, confused when I don't find the tail. Oh, right, he doesn't have one. Finally he pulls back from that magnificent kiss, and leans in again to my ear, flicking it lightly with his tongue. I don't care who's watching, I want him so badly I can taste it, melting on my tongue.

"What did you do to that guy?" he asks playfully, rolling his hips again, grinding his ass against my arousal, his groin against my stomach. I can feel I'm not the only one enjoying this. Gods, has he done this before?

"I…uh…" I remember he can't hear me, and I lean in, taking a long whiff at his neck, letting that silken hair brush along my cheek before I place my lips at his ear. His body shudders delightfully against me. "I just broke his wrist," I answer, trying to form words through the haze of lust. "Nothing big."

He pulls back suddenly, his gorgeous face alarmed. I can't imagine what's upsetting him. He says something I can't hear, but his lips are clear enough. '_You what?!'_ I blink up at him confused. '_Oh shit!'_ He's off my lap, and I can see him shaking some of the drunkenness off as he pulls me to my feet. Well, I guess _that_ little interlude is over. It's hard for me to switch gears so fast, and I find myself bemusedly watching his ass as he pulls me back towards the bathroom. Goten's just coming out, and he smiles at us inquisitively. Trunks grabs him, too, and hauls us out the back door near the telephones. Once out in the open air, he listens intently. Seemingly satisfied, he turns to me, almost angry.

"What did you do that for?" he hollers, waving his arms through the air. I have no idea what he's referring to, and I glance over at Goten uneasily. I really shouldn't have been pawing Trunks like that, it was obvious Goten had a thing for him, and who wouldn't? But is Trunks going to bring this up in front of my nephew? Surely he's not that cold hearted?

"The wrist," Trunks interjects into my thoughts, and I frown. Oh, he was talking about something completely different.

"He was trying to grab my tail," I explain reasonably, while Goten is still looking confused.

"He broke that guy's wrist," Trunks explains tersely to the darker haired boy, and I watch that same look of apprehension and surprise bleed into his features.

"Oh, man, we gotta get out of here!"

"Why?" I ask, completely confused. Trunks just sighs and shakes his head.

"Look, I know you're a bit behind the times, Raditz. But that stuff is illegal here! You can't just going around breaking people's bones because they try and grope you a little in a club!" Trunks is clearly irritated, and I note, with a bit of disappointment, that this is probably the conclusion to any other little trysts he may be interested in. It's for the best, anyway, but it doesn't stop the little hitch in my stomach. But suddenly he smiles, and his face lights up again, before he starts laughing. Goten and I share puzzled looks over a lilac head.

"Man, Raditz, trust _you _to be the one to get us in trouble." He's clutching at his stomach, and suddenly Goten joins in, and I'm left standing there feeling like an idiot. The high wail of distant sirens cuts through the laughter, and still grinning, Trunks takes to the air.

"Come on, we gotta get out of here," he calls, and Goten and I follow. Looks like Trunks had a bit much to drink, though, as his flight is erratic and jerky. Nodding once to my nephew, we move up to either side of him, swinging his arms over our shoulders, and speed off, leaving behind the lights of the city.

It doesn't take long to make it our house, but Trunks seems to be doing a little better by the time we get there, able to fly on his own, albeit slowly. "Not even breaking curfew," Goten exclaims, looking at his watch. "I better get in, though. Raditz, can you make sure Trunks gets home okay?" he asks me earnestly, and I close my eyes. He wouldn't be asking me that if he knew what happened just a little while ago.

"Yeah," I answer hoarsely, and he hugs me impulsively, before slipping inside. I see the single light through the window. Doubtless Chichi is waiting up for her baby. I grin to myself, then turn to Trunks.

"Come on, kid, let's go," I say, deliberately trying to distance myself from him, put that moment of weakness behind me. He stares at me with opaque blue eyes, and just nods. I follow him, since I have no idea where we're going, and though I curse myself I still find my eyes wandering over that glorious body lasciviously. Finally he touches down in a small copse of trees. The Capsule Corps building is enormous, I can see it from here clearly.

"My dad wouldn't be real glad to see you," he offers in explanation. I nod, watching him, unable to see anything clearly on his face in the darkness. He moves closer, and I unconsciously draw in a sharp breath. "Look, Raditz, about tonight," he begins, his voice that of the shy kid I met a week ago. "I…I wanted you to know I didn't do that just because I was drunk."

My mind reels as I consider the implications of his confession. What the hell does he mean? "What the hell do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm attracted to you. A lot. And…what I did in there, I wanted to do. Before I started drinking, I mean. Then when I saw you on the dance floor…and with that guy! I…guess I just got my courage up, and did it."

I did the wrong thing back at the club. It's hard, but I make myself do the right thing now. "What about Goten?"

I can see him wince, even in the dim light. He sighs, and crosses his arms over his chest, like he's cold. "Goten? I…I guess I've known for a while how he feels. But it would be too weird…we've known each other since we were little kids! He's like…he's like my brother." I can tell he's not being completely honest…but I don't think _he_ knows he's not.

"Trunks," I begin gently, gritting my teeth for what I have to do. "I need some time with this, okay? You're a lot younger than me, and I care very much about my nephew."

"Only eleven years!" he exclaims, and suddenly he's pressing against my chest, running his hands up to my neck, lacing his fingers behind, staring up at me. "You can't say you're not attracted to me," he adds, and suddenly that confident devil from the club is back. It's all I can do to keep from sweeping him up and taking him right there in the grass.

"I'm very attracted to you," I admit, my voice rough with suppressed lust. "But that doesn't mean we should, uh, act on it." It's so damn hard to be strong with his muscular body writhing against me like a cat in heat! I carefully disentangle his hands from behind my neck, trying to push him away carefully, without coming into contact with any more of that burning skin. I do the only thing I can, I take to the air.

"Look, we'll talk about this later, okay?" I say, as I realize with some shame that I'm running from a seventeen year old boy. A sexy, gorgeous, amazingly intriguing seventeen year old boy, but nevertheless. Thank The gods he doesn't give chase, and I don't look back as I fly off. One thing's for sure, I'm not getting _any_ sleep tonight


	10. Nine

I can't go home. My head is too alive, my mind too chaotic with racing thoughts and confused emotions. I really want to talk to Gohan about this, he has a way of putting things into perspective that I've come to rely on. But he and Videl are out tonight, and I'm not about the spoil that for them. I sure as hell can't talk to Kakarot! He either wouldn't understand, or understand far too well and immediately go spill it to Vegeta. Of course Chichi is out for a million reasons. Who else is there? Krillin has the finesse of an elephant when it comes to relationships; it's no wonder he ended up with an android. I barely know Yamcha, and somehow I doubt his "ladies man" reputation bodes well for any confessions from someone like me.

The trees race by endlessly below me before parting gracefully to reveal a shining pool. Of course, Piccolo! He's the perfect objective observer, not likely to be too judgmental, and best yet, discreet. I swoop down into the clearing, peering through the trees for that rock face he pointed out last time I was here…ah! I hope he's not pissed off at me for calling him a son of a bitch. Nah.

I knock on the door loudly, leaning up against the cold stone that comprises his "wall". I hope he's in…he did say he only stays here when he doesn't want to live at the Lookout. Maybe he's gone tonight? I knock again, a bit less hopefully this time, but I'm rewarded with the very quiet sound of footsteps. Sometimes I forget how stealthy Piccolo can be; sounds like he's right on the other side of the door!

"It's me, Raditz!" I call through the sturdy oak of the door. The door, to my grateful surprise, opens a crack.

"I know that. I can smell you from all the way in the back of the house." The familiar growl brings a smile to my lips.

"Hey, Piccolo! I need to talk to you."

"I was sleeping," he answers in irritation. Oh shit, that's right! It is sort of the middle of the night…and Piccolo's probably one of those people who goes to bed in the early evening, then gets up at the crack of dawn. I can't really see his face in the near total darkness, but I can just guess at what kind of scowl he's wearing.

"Oh…uh, sorry! I'll just go then…" I turn around, hoping a quick retreat will help make amends for my late night visit.

"Wait a minute…" I hear a tired sigh, then the door opens wider. "Come in, before I change my mind." Good advice…I slip through the door into the blackness of his little "house". I can't see a damn thing, but I can smell and hear him moving around. Then a little flare of light, and I can make out his features. He looks as alert as ever, holding a flame on the tip of his finger as he pulls down a lamp from a high shelf. The only clue he's been asleep at all is the wrinkled disarray of his indigo gi. He lights the lamp carefully, and I study the room, still fairly dimly lit.

It's all one room, as I guess any cave dwelling would have to be. A table, a few chairs, some shelves line the walls. A stand up wardrobe in cherry. A big bookshelf, filled with all sorts of books and papers. I didn't know Piccolo was such a big reader, but then, I have the feeling a lot of the books and magazines were from Gohan. No real bed, just a pile of cushions and blankets in a corner. I expected the walls to be bare, but they're draped with long lengths of lush fabrics instead, tending towards rich red and purple hues. It lends what should be a spartan atmosphere a sort of opium den vibe that seems at odds with the personality of the man who lives here.

"Nice place, " I offer as Piccolo sets the lamp on the table, gesturing at one of the chairs. I sit down, watch him slide in across the table from me. The chairs are wide and generous; like me, Piccolo is a big guy, not really to scale with the rest of the population. I pull up one knee, resting it against my chest as I wonder where to begin.

"What's with the get-up?" Piccolo asks mildly. The muted glow of the lamp lends his normally harsh face a sort of comforting softness, and I find myself glad I came. Piccolo's almost as good as Gohan when it comes to this sort of thing.

"Well, I guess that's where I should start…" and I find it all spilling out of me. I talk for almost half an hour, explaining how I got roped into taking the boys to that club, breaking the guy's wrist, Trunks getting into my lap, and finally that last, painfully confusing confession on his part. I gloss over some of the details, especially the more intimate ones, thinking it might make the Namek uncomfortable, but all in all I'm pretty straight, laying it all out in front of him.

"And now I don't really know what to do," I finish lamely. "I mean, Trunks is really…well, really amazing. But there're so many complications that go with him, I'm not sure I'm up to handling them! I'm not a very complex guy, myself. I'm not very smart, either. I don't know what I _can_ do." I sigh loudly, leaning my chin on my knee and lacing my fingers over my shin.

Piccolo doesn't say anything for quite awhile, just tapping his lips thoughtfully with one clawed finger. I shift in my chair, watching him uneasily. Sometimes I hate how hard he is to read. Did I make a mistake in coming here?

"Well, it sounds like you've got several things going on." Finally, the mountain speaks! I laugh inwardly at my own disquiet. "First, there's what's going on with you. Secondly, there's what's going with him."

"Figured it out pretty quick, didn't you?" I snort.

"Did you want my advice, or not?" he growls, and I nearly bite my tongue.

"Yes, yes I did, you're right, I'll shut up."

"Okay. First, there's you. You're lonely. Not lonely for friends or whatever, I'm sure Goku keeps you pretty busy on that front, but lonely for a companion. Being dead was probably a good thing for you, it sounds to me like you've gotten a lot of Vegeta out of your system. But that puts you in the place where you're ready for someone new to come along. Right?"

I think about it seriously, look inside myself, examine all the angles. "Yeah. I guess that's about right."

"Also, while you may be mostly over Vegeta, you're not entirely there. And Trunks is a lot like his father: arrogant, cocky, and mouthy. So maybe there's also a part of you that's unconsciously trying to fix that old relationship, try it again and make it work this time."

That hits a lot harder. Is it true? Maybe it is…but if so, it _is_ unconscious. "Go on," I say warily.

"Well, and then there's just your basic personality. You seem like a sensual sort of guy. All you Saiyans are, a race who like the physical side of things. You don't seem like the type who can say no when something like that is literally dropped in your lap." That is very true. I've always known that about myself, and while it's caused me some problems in the past, nothing like this. Things that I shouldn't have aren't usually presented to me, so I've never had to deal much with resisting temptation.

"Yeah. Okay, so what about him?" 

Piccolo grins at me suddenly, baring his fangs, and I raise thick eyebrows at him. "Are you really sure you want to hear this, Saiyan? I can almost guarantee you won't like it."

I just nod back.

"Well, Trunks is very wrapped up in his relationship with his father. Vegeta's not very good at showing the love and affection side of things. He's better than he used to be, but still…Trunks often acts based on what he thinks his father will think. That means he's either trying to get his approval…or he's trying to piss him off."

"What, so you think I'm the piss-off factor?" I ask, a little annoyed. He was right, I don't want to hear this.

"Some of it is that…some of is that you probably remind him a lot of his father. Now, he can't go and have sex with dad to gain his approval. But he can have sex with you and gain approval from a stand-in."

"That's sick!" I snarl, glaring at Piccolo. I'm not interested in being anyone's father, and certainly not a poor imitation of one!

"It's the way humans work," Piccolo replies calmly, a hint of his previous smile still present. "They frequently seek out partners that remind them of their parents. I think because it's the parents that first teach them what love is. If a human has a good parent to base things on, they can pick a good partner. If not, things can get mixed up. Of course, not all humans are that way, and some do it much more than others. It's almost always unconscious, though."

I shake my head, trying to absorb this new information. It did make a twisted sort of sense…but I really didn't like thinking that Trunks wasn't actually interested in me. Or at least, not interested in me for myself, just for what I represented to him. Maybe I would be better off finding one of those grabby humans and having some meaningless sex. It certainly would make things less complicated.

"Where the hell did you learn so much about human behavior?" I ask suddenly. Isn't this guy supposed to be the alien? He simply grins smugly at me, and gestures to his bookcase.

"Oh, Gohan got me a great many books on the subject. He got tired of me asking him questions. It's a fascinating topic, so I ended up reading a good deal about it. I still don't understand a lot of your drives and such, but it's given me at least a little insight."

"'Your' drives? Hey, I'm a full-blooded Saiyan, not one of these watered down half breeds!"

"Saiyans and humans actually have a lot in common. There are some definite differences, but not so many that I can't apply most of my knowledge to both races." 

I feel a bit outraged at that…but then, maybe he's right. "What don't you understand?"

Piccolo shrugs broad shoulders, rubbing the base of his antennae in a gesture I've learned means he's thinking. "Oh. Mostly the physical stuff. Sex and food being the big ones. Both humans and Saiyans have whole sections of their cultures devoted to those two things: what and how you eat, and how and who you can have sex with! There are hundreds of thousands of rituals around those two activities, whole sections of language devoted to them! It's so strange!"

I blink in surprise. It never occurred to me that those would be alien concepts to anyone, I mean, everybody's got to eat, right? And how else are you going to continue the species? "Well, what do Nameks do?" I ask reasonably.

"We only drink water, we don't eat. And I told you before, we reproduce asexually. I'm not going into the details of _that_," he adds a bit sniffily.

"Well, doesn't water taste good to you?" I ask.

"Yes, but it's hardly the experience you people seem to have with food."

"Well, what do Nameks do when they want companionship? Or to be closer to someone?" I'm genuinely curious now. I spent a good deal of my life surrounded by aliens, but most of them really weren't that different from my own people. Then again, I never really took the time to ask them about it…

"On Namek, we live in small communities. There's plenty of opportunity for companionship in that situation. The whole village is responsible for the children, and we often share residences. Out whole lives are spent with others." That same smug smirk is on his face, and I frown.

"But weren't you raised on Earth?" I ask, trying to remember what Kakarot had told me about it. "How do you know about all that stuff?"

The smile on his face disappears, and he sighs quietly. "I was, but Kami and Nail weren't. They are a part of me now, so I identify more with Namek culture. It's still not really my home, though." The slight melancholy twinge in his voice startles me. I'm seeing a whole new side to Piccolo tonight…several new sides, in fact. It makes me forget my own problems, if only briefly.

"So Earth is your home, then? In your heart."

He shrugs again, turning those deep black eyes to me. "In a way, yes, but in a way, no. Sometimes I love it here, and I know this is the only place I'll ever want to live. I want to protect it. But sometimes I feel completely out of place, like I'm standing outside a house and only looking in through the window. I can see what's going on, but I can't really understand it, because I can't _hear._"

I let my mouth drop open slightly. That's _exactly_ how I feel, that strange experience of disconnection, only half comprehending the world around me. "Yeah," I breathe, and we sit in the silence together for awhile. The very quiet hiss of the lamp pricks at my ears, and I turn to look at Piccolo, his face lost in contemplation, a blank green mask.

"I wish I could help you understand some of this stuff," I say, partly born of frustration, partly because I understand how he feels, to be the outsider. He looks over at me, blinking slowly.

"How would you do that?" he asks, mildly curious.

"I don't know, explain some of it to you, I guess. You can't really experience it for yourself, can you?"

"No, not really."

"Well, I'd like to try…can I?"

He sits still for a minute, then turns back to me. "Why not? I'm not sure what good it will do, though." It _does _seem like a kinda stupid idea, but I don't know what else to do. I have no plans, no clever words to help with any of that separation that he feels. This is all I can think of to do.

I laugh suddenly. "I have no idea where to start."

"Well, why not start with some experience you've had? Maybe tonight?" Piccolo is sounding entirely too reasonable, and I wonder if he actually looking forward to this?

"Hmm. Okay." I stand, start to pace the room as I try to think back through the night. Okay, there's the dancing, but he probably _could_ understand that with a little effort. "Well, first there's alcohol. I don't suppose Nameks can get drunk?"

"Actually, we can. We just don't choose to."

Hmm. "How do you…uh, how does that work?"

"The same way it does with you, I imagine."

I frown at him. "Well, I guess it's straight on to the sex, then, huh?"

"If you like."

He's way too calm. I consider making some snide comment, then I remember I _am_ trying to do him a favor. I wonder, though…if Nameks _can_ get drunk, does that mean they can do other things, too? Is all the spartan living just a cultural norm? I wonder if Piccolo would tell me if I asked? Of course, these questions are all pretty good distractions from the real issue of how the hell do you explain sex to someone who's not only never had sex, but has never even _considered_ having sex, and probably _can't _have sex. I need more information first.

"Okay, give me some idea of what I can expect here…Nameks don't have sex, I got that much…but…uh…what do you have in the way of equipment?" A slow purple flush crosses his cheeks, which usually means he's mad.

"WHAT?" I put up my hands quickly in a defensive gesture.

"Look, I just need to know how to describe it to you! It's really different if you don't have anything…uh…to do anything with as opposed to non-functioning stuff, or stuff you choose not to do anything with." There is just no graceful way to say this, and I have the sneaking suspicion I'm coming off as a total reprobate weirdo. Of course, this _is_ one of the strangest conversations I've ever had, and I'm the one who initiated the damn thing! If anyone out there needed any more proof that I wasn't first in line when brains were handed out…

Piccolo grimaces, baring his fangs, but actually answers my question. "I suppose I would have what you would consider normal male equipment. Nameks are capable of changing certain parts of their bodies depending on…need. Since I was raised here on earth, around mostly males, I developed in a mammalian masculine manner. If I chose to have children, those attributes would change."

"Really?" I find myself leaning forward, elbow on the table, chin planted firmly in my palm. "Does it…ah…function the way ours do?"

"I have very little to compare it to," he grinds out, and I laugh suddenly, flustered.

"Oh, yeah. Well, uh…lots of nerve endings there?"

"I suppose. I don't go around poking myself with a pin to test the amount of nerve endings in my skin. And before you go asking any other questions, I don't know why it's that way, or why it works like it does, or anything along those lines. Neither Kami nor Nail were biologists, and I hardly have anyone else to ask about it, so let's cut this little discussion short." His tone is final, but looking at his face, it's my guess it's less from outrage than it is from embarrassment. I forgot what a prude he is. I stifle another laugh.

Then again, he's all ears when I say I'm going to try to explain sex to him. This situation is so bizarre, I have absolutely nothing to compare it to, and no idea where to go with this. If Piccolo was anyone _but_ Piccolo, I'd say he was flirting with me in a rather backward way, but it _is_ Piccolo, so I have no idea what's going on. But as long as he doesn't crawl into my lap while we're talking, I guess I'll be okay. I've had more than enough unfinished business for one day.

I ponder where to start. "Well, I was sitting down, and Trunks was staring at me kind of strangely," I begin, setting it up a little. "And Goten went to the bathroom, so we were alone…well, I mean, surrounded by a bunch of people, but they were strangers, so it didn't really count. So he gets up, and…well, I guess he just sort of got into my lap."

"What do you mean?" I hate not being able to read that face…it's gone blank and reflective again, like green glass.

"Well, he was sort of straddling my hips, facing me," I pat my thighs for emphasis, "And uh…well, that felt really nice, so…"

"Wait. Would it feel nice if anyone did that?"

"No, just someone I found attractive."

"So what do you find attractive about Trunks?"

What _don't_ I find attractive about him? "Well, he's got a very nice body…strong, well muscled, a really _great_ ass, and I like the long hair, the way it kind of hides his face sometimes. And his eyes…I really like his eyes. They almost seem to change with the light, sometimes they're really dark, other times paler, more…like ice?"

"So you find him aesthetically pleasing." Piccolo sounds almost dismissive, and I find myself becoming defensive.

"It's more than that, though. He's got this attitude…he walks around like he's royalty, and everyone around him are his subjects. He's got this supreme self confidence…"

"Sounds like arrogance."

I sigh, shaking my head. How to explain this to a non-Saiyan? "I suppose some people would look at it that way, but it's always been a highly valued trait among Saiyans, the attitude that you'll triumph, not matter what, because you're better. It's one of the reasons we're so hard to put down…and one of the things, from hearing my brother talk, that confuses you guys so much about Vegeta. How many times has Kakarot beaten him? Bested him at something, done things better, faster? But Prince Vegeta won't back down…ever. He's strong, and his only weakness would be in quitting, in assuming he was the inferior one. He is a perfect example of all Saiyans idealize, all we want to be. Kakarot is the same way…he never gives up, either. No matter how many people tell him he's outmatched, he knows better, pushes himself harder, because he knows he can."

I sigh softly, letting my eyes fall to the floor. "I used to be that way, too, but somewhere along the line I lost it. I'd hardly make a fit partner for any Saiyan, even a half breed like Trunks." Great, my good deed for the day has turned into a philosophy lesson on the Saiyan way of life.

"I don't think that you've lost it." Piccolo's voice is bland, matter of fact, and I look up at him in surprise as he continues. "It's probably one of the reason's Trunks is attracted to you, one of the reasons you remind him of his father."

I want to tell him I don't need the little pep talk, but he doesn't sound like he's saying it to be nice. More just stating the facts as he sees them. I flash him a ghost of a grin. "Thanks. So…do you understand the attraction a bit better now?" He nods, and waves a hand in my direction, presumably for me to continue.

"Okay, so where was I…oh, okay, he's in my lap, and he's pressed up against me and he starts kissing me…" How the hell do I explain kissing? "It's like…when you kiss someone you're really attracted to, it's like the first real acknowledgement of that attraction, you know? Like they're letting you in a little bit…it just feels amazing. A person's mouth, it's much hotter than their skin, I think, and there's something about a really good kiss that feels incredibly intimate. Like your entire body is focused in your mouth, on that one contact, and there's something passing between you, like electricity." 

I shift uncomfortably in my chair, and I find myself looking down again, hoping that my face isn't as glowing red as it feels. Just thinking about the way he touched me…"And, uh…well, he was sort of wiggling on my lap, which uh…" Wow, this went from sweetly romantic to hardcore pretty quickly. "Well, you know, it feels really nice when, uh, when you've got someone rubbing up against you…" Don't ask any questions, don't ask any questions.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, just, someone else's skin feels nice, um, warm, um…against the chest and…uh…" I am absolutely positive my face is dark red by now. I sneak a glance at Piccolo out of the corner of my eye, and he's still watching me with that blank expression. I've never been a person who has that much of a problem talking about sex. In fact, I have been told I can get downright crude about it. But somehow, this situation makes it all different, explaining it to him like this. It doesn't help that now I'm thinking about the delicious way Trunks pressed up against me, molding himself to my chest and groin.

"The what?"

"Oh, you know, the…" I gesture downwards vaguely, and suddenly I realize talking about all of this has excited me in a very visible way. Oh, Gods! I'm going to have nightmares about this for months! I cross my legs hurriedly, cursing the tight leather. My tail whips behind me in agitation and I try to calm it with little success.

"Well? Go on."

Is he laughing at me? This must seem terribly amusing to someone who has no interest in sex, how we get so worked up over simple bodily contact. But at the same time, I wish I could make him understand…how can you understand Saiyans, or humans for that matter, if you don't understand this about us? "Well, he stopped kissing me, and leaned in to lick at my ear, and…well, all I could smell was him, and it was this really good smell, sort of overwhelming, the kind of smell that just short circuits your brain, it felt like I was just breathing him into me…" My voice has gotten low and rough, and I shift in my chair again. "And I could hear his breath in my ear, it was heavy, like he was really turned on, and that's one of the worst things for me, to hear how much someone else is enjoying something like that. You can't imagine, feeling so incredible, and knowing that you're making the other person feel the same way."

Would it be a major social gaffe to stick my knuckles in my mouth and bite down hard at this point? Probably, but then, what's the etiquette for talking dirty to a Namek? I settle for lacing my hands at the back of my neck, trying to keep them occupied so I don't do something even more humiliating with them. "And then he asked me what I did to some guy on the dance floor, and he freaked out and dragged me outside." I finish quickly, glad I've gotten through this ordeal. Of course, there's still the aftermath pressing insistently against my hip, and painted across my face. I keep my eyes down.

"So…that's sex?" His voice is quiet, curious, but nothing else.

"Sex? No! That's…well, that's the beginning, but there's a lot more than that that goes on…" I trail off awkwardly, let my eyes slowly track up the leg of the table, crawl across to the lantern. If I concentrate on the little flame, he's only a dark blur, green and black in the low light.

"Hmmm." He leans back in his chair, and is rubbing the base of one antennae. 

"Hmmm? Is that it?" I look up, suddenly irritated. Here I am, hornier than I've been in Gods know when, and all he can say is 'Hmmm'!?

"Yes. Why, is there something else I should say?"

I snap my eyes up to meet him, scowling. "Yeah, you can say 'Thanks, Raditz, for humiliating yourself for my enlightenment!'" He blinks back at me.

"You found that humiliating?"

"Yeah! What, you thought I normally turn bright red when I'm just passing the time of day?" Gods, how dumb can he be?

"Well, I thought you were aroused by it, and that was an after-effect." Oh. Well, that, too. How can he sit there so calmly, like it's nothing at all? Like I just described a really good steak? He continues, "If you felt so embarrassed by it, why did you do it?"

Good question. "I…I told you I would."

"Because you wanted to help me understand." 

I nod. "Well, yeah."

He's rubbing his thumb in slow circles around the base of his left antennae, and I start to wonder. Maybe he doesn't know how to react to this either? I somehow doubt that anyone else has ever sat down and tried to explain this to him…okay, maybe Kakarot, but that would be a disaster from step one. And I don't think Piccolo would be comfortable talking to Gohan about it, probably wouldn't even occur to him to ask.

He stands suddenly, and begins pacing the floor, his brow furrowed. He must be thinking really hard to let his emotion show through like that, though what it's about, I can't tell.

"Piccolo, look-" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Raditz, I want you to do something for me." The gravel in his voice is harsher than usual, he's speaking very low, like when he's pissed off. I can't figure out what I've done now, so I just shrug.

"Sure, Piccolo. What do you want?"

"Stand up," he says, gesturing impatiently, stopping to turn and face me. I stand cautiously. We're almost the same height, him and me, he's the only person I've met on Earth that I can say that about. I've maybe got two or three inches on him, but that's it. Is he going to hit me? Nah, that's not like him, not without warning anyway. But what is going on?

I get my answer as he reaches out, grabs the front of my shirt roughly, his black claws scraping over bare skin with a hissing sting. I frown, opening my mouth to ask what he's doing as he pulls me forward, stumbling, into him, and then he's pressing his lips against mine. It takes me a second to realize he's trying to kiss me with no real idea of how to actually do so, and some part of me laughs. The main part of me, the part hooked up to my body, though, tilts my head to the side for a better fit and moves my lips against his, showing him how it's done. He mimics me, and I venture my tongue into his mouth, curious about what he tastes like. Not the sour tang of his blood, but something lighter, cool, almost like mint. I lean into him, trapping his fist and forearm between us as I deepen the kiss.

He responds hesitantly, his own tongue dancing around mine experimentally. I find my hands sliding to his hips, fingers gliding over rough cotton, kneading the firm muscle underneath. He lets his fist relax, just pressing his palm against my chest, his claws five pin pricks against my flesh, over my heart. His skin is warm, not cool like I thought it would be, but I note all this in the back of my mind, as I'm still concentrating on the way our mouths press together, sharing breath and heat in liberal amounts, tongues warring back and forth, first dipping into his mouth, then back into mine.

Finally I pull back, shaking my head in a flurry of negation. "No. No, we can't do this. No."

His black eyes follow my face curiously, and that purple flush has returned, rendering his features somehow more alluring. "Why not?" he asks quietly. "I want to know."

"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FINISH IT!" I find myself roaring, frustration on this level too much for one night. Not once, but _twice_ I have to be the one who says no, who stops it. What the hell is he thinking? What the hell am I thinking?

He shrugs, and his voice is low, rough. "Maybe I can," he says. "I don't know. But I want to find out."

"I am not your little experiment! I am not your exploration into what Saiyans or humans are like! I refuse to be treated like that! Fuck, Piccolo! You should know me better than that by now!"

"But you liked it, didn't you?" he asks, face still as opaque as ever.

"YES, I FUCKING LIKED IT, OKAY? That's not the point! I don't do casual sex, and I'm not going to play games with you! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of having people use me! GODS!" Everything that's gone through me tonight, all the mixed-up, fucked-up feelings are turning into one flaming ball of temper, and I don't feel like using that all-fucking-mighty self-restraint tonight. I'm all used up in that area.

"You want to know what sex is, find yourself a goddamned whore! I won't do it for you!" I have to get out of here, have to find somewhere else to be, anywhere. For the second time tonight, I'm running, and Piccolo's door shreds before me like paper as I take off into the night. FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!


	11. Ten

Of course I end up at the Son house once more. Son, what a joke. Kakarot shouldn't have a human family name, all that's left of his real family is me. What's strange, though, is that when I touch down angrily out back by the woodpile, Kakarot's there, sitting on a rock, looking at me curiously.

"Back from taking Trunks home?" he asks.

"Yeah," I snarl. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Well, it is my house," he remarks lightly.

"Oh, yeah, right, _excuse me_, Kakarot. Now what the hell are you doing out here?" I don't feel like being polite. My little brother never seems to mind, though.

"Oh," he shrugs, "I'm on the outs with Chichi, and I didn't feel like sleeping on the couch, so I came out here. I'm not real tired, anyways." 

I know Chichi kicks him out of the bedroom sometimes, though I'm still not exactly sure why he puts up with it. "Didn't you take her out tonight?"

"Yeah," he responds sheepishly, "And I thought it was going real well, but then Goten came home and he was wearing these clothes that…um, well, made Chichi real mad." Oh shit, that's right! He went right in the front door…damn it, I totally forgot! "So then she started yelling at Goten, and I tried to get her to calm down, and she told me it was my fault because you should have done something about that, and you're my brother, and…" he trails off, shrugging again.

"Shit, Kakarot, so it's basically my fault." I shake my head. Oh well, what's one more crappy emotion on top of everything else? Throw guilt on the pile…but not much. It's not my fault he married such a shrew. "Sorry."

He cuts in with that weird telepathy thing of his. "Oh, it's not your fault, Raditz." He looks away from me, out into the darkness of the lurking trees. "She seems to be looking for fights lately." The expression on his face is easy to read, but complex. Frustration, a bit of melancholy, and confusion all vie for space. I perch on top of the woodpile next to him.

"Kakarot, can I ask you something?" I wonder.

"Sure."

"Why are you married to her?"

He looks up at me, pushing his hand through his wild corona of spikes tiredly. "Do you mean…why did we get married, or why are we still married?"

"Both, I guess."

"Well," he looks down at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck lightly. "When we first got married, it seemed like a good idea. I mean, she was really the only person that wanted to marry me…and I liked her well enough. She's a great cook, and a good housekeeper, and she's a good fighter, too. After we had Gohan…well, I guess that's when I first really started loving her."

"So you didn't love her when you first got married?"

"Yeah, I did, but it wasn't the same as later. But she was so protective of Gohan, she loved him so much…I guess I started to love her, too. Then all that stuff happened…I was gone off and on for such a long time. I still loved her when I came back…but she had a really hard time with me being away so much." He leans forward, resting his chin in his hands. "Chichi really needs someone consistent…someone who can be there for her. I guess that person isn't me. But she would never leave me…I think she's pretty unhappy now, but I don't know what to do about it. I've tried…to make it like it used to be, when Gohan was little, but it isn't working."

He looks back up at me, and I see glistening trails down his cheeks. He's crying! "I don't know what to do, Raditz! Should I leave her, let her get on with her life? But then, what would the boys think? Where would I go? And I still love her…"

Gods! He's blaming this whole thing on himself, like his wife doesn't nag him constantly, doesn't take out her unhappiness on him. They're both too tangled up in each other to see any way out. So they just keep biting and scratching at each other, stuck together with the glue of their kids and their lives together. It's sad…but it makes me angry, too. For once I feel like Kakarot _is_ my little brother, and I want to help him, protect him from this. But like so many other things, I don't know how to handle it, how to help, or fix anything.

"Kakarot," I begin, then stop, trying to gather my thoughts. "Kakarot, I think you should leave her. You two…you just aren't a good match. Maybe you were once, but not any more. I'm pretty sure both Goten and Gohan would understand."

He stares at me unblinkingly. "No one…everyone's always said we should try and stick it out…"

"Everyone?"

"Well, Bulma and Krillin, mostly. They're the only people I've talked to about it. Bulma said that Chichi just needed some time…and Krillin said I should wait until Goten leaves home. He said…you know, that it could hurt him. Kids get messed up in divorces."

"Kids get messed up in unhappy families, too. And Chichi's had a lot of time." I'm angry about the whole thing. Krillin, at the very least, should know better! Doesn't he care about his friend? Well, if no one's going to watch out for my brother, then it's up to me. Maybe I do know what to do, after all. "Kakarot, you have to get out of there. It's obvious you two are not working out! Smarten up! How long have you been taking her shit?"

"Raditz! It's not like that…"

"Isn't it? Can you tell me that truthfully?"

He looks at the ground strengthlessly. "But where would I go?" His voice is a whisper.

"Who cares!? Gods, I'm sure any number of your friends would take you in until you found your own place!" I'm standing now, waving my hands through the air in agitation, my tail whipping angrily.

"I…" he takes a deep breath. "Okay. Will you…will you come with me?"

All I can do is stare at him. Does he think his wife would stand for me in his house with him gone? I nod at him, grab his wrist, haul him to his feet. "Come on," I growl, pulling him into the air, and yanking open a window into Gohan's room. He follows meekly after me, standing in the middle of the room while I pile my meager collection of belongings into a big bag, then pulling him out into the hall.

"Get what you need, Kakarot, and let's go." I think for a moment that he's going to protest, say something, but he doesn't. I know he really wants to go, but he would never get the balls to do it himself. The strongest fighter in the goddamned universe, and he can't stand up to his wife. Bullshit.

He opens the door to the bedroom quietly, and I take the opportunity to duck into Goten's room. The kid deserves to know what's going on. It's dark in here, but I can hear Goten breathing. He's not asleep, and I can make out his dark form sitting up on the bed. "Goten?"

"Yeah, Uncle Raditz? What's going on?" His voice is shaky, a little hoarse. Has he been crying, too?

"Your mom giving you any shit, kid?"

"Oh…nothing big. I just should have come in the window. I forgot…" he sighs softly in the velvet blackness. Like father, like son. I snarl to myself, glad he can't see my face. Doubtless he would think it was aimed at him.

"Your dad's getting out of here." My voice is flat.

"What? You mean…for a few days?"

"For good, if I have anything to say about it. You coming, kid?" The silence is thick, weighty.

"No, I can't-" He's cut off by a loud shriek from down the hall. I can hear Kakarot's quiet mumbling as I dart back into the hall, sprinting for the bedroom.

I walk into a war zone. Flying clothes, candlesticks, books, any item that comes to hand is going right from Chichi to hit Kakarot in the head. She's a dead aim, and he's just standing there, eyes down. Gods, do I have to do everything? I stride across the room, blocking the screeching harpy, and grab her by the wrists, lifting her off the ground. I ignore the cacophonous wench and say to my brother over my shoulder, "Get your stuff. Now."

Chichi is still howling like an angry monkey-though I think there're words in there somewhere-and kicking me repeatedly in the stomach and thighs. She's got strong legs on her, but she's no Saiyan. I put my face right in hers, and pitch my voice as loud as I can. "SHUT UP, WOMAN!" This silences her for about two seconds, then she's directing all her poisonous ire at me.

"Youputhimuptothisdidn'tyouIknewyouwerebadnewsyouhorriblealienWereyoujustgoingtohavehimwalkoutwithouttellingmeYou'dlikethatwouldn'tyouyoufilthyscumPUTMEDOWN!" A light tap on the shoulder tells me Kakarot is finished, and I look around. Goten's standing in the doorway, open-mouthed.

"Sure you want to stay, Goten?" I ask quietly, and he just looks at me and Chichi. I think it's shocking to him, to see the all-powerful mother held up like a tantrumming child. But he can't do it, not yet.

"No…I…someone has to stay with mom." I nod tersely to him. He's taking the harder route…but I'm not sure anymore that it's because he's weak. Maybe he simply takes his responsibilities very serious. I roll Chichi in the thick blankets of the bed, and tie a couple of knots in it. Should hold her for as long as it takes to get out of here.

I pull Goten into a fierce hug on the way out. "Take care, kid. Don't let things get too heavy here, okay?" 

"'Kay."

We take the front door this time, and Kakarot follows me into the air. "Where are we going?" he asks quietly. Good question.

* * * * *

I can only think of one place. Krillin's is really too small, with 18 and Marron there. I don't know anyone else, and Kakarot's not going to be much help. So with a fortifying breath of air, now tinted with moisture, I lead my little brother right back into the lion's den. Capsule Corps. By the time we land out front, it's raining hard, and both of us are soaked. Good, maybe Vegeta'll let us in if we look pathetic enough. I bang loudly, afraid to use the doorbell. Bulma's probably asleep by now, and I don't want to wake the entire household, especially not her. Don't need Chichi showing up here tonight. The place is enormous, hopefully Trunks or Vegeta will hear the door and come to investigate. I'm not sure I'm ready to withstand another go around with Trunks…but maybe he'll lay off if he sees why I'm here. I'm not sure what I'll say if it's Vegeta.

It's Vegeta.

He's standing there in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of black silk pyjama bottoms. Who said I was getting over him? It couldn't have been me, his physical presence hits me like a sucker punch right in the gut, stealing my breath painfully.

"Raditz? What the hell-" I step to the side, keeping my face blank with only the most supreme of efforts, let him see my bedraggled brother, his hair dripping down into his face from the weight of the rain.

"Kakarot?" The prince's voice is startled, husky, and positively dripping with sex appeal. "What are you-you had better come in." He looks up at me, face twisted in a snarl. "And _you _can crawl back into whatever hole you pulled yourself out of."

I knew he would react like this, and I turn to leave, when I hear my little brother's voice. "No." I look around, surprised. So is Vegeta, he's staring at Kakarot in consternation.

"Kakarot, you can't expect-"

"If I come in, he comes in." His voice is flat, exhausted. Vegeta snarls again, leaning forward on the balls of his feet aggressively. It's so strange…to see him irritated without that sleek tail lashing behind him.

"Fine!" he snaps out finally. "But you had better tell me what's going on!"

Kakarot follows him as limply as he had me, and I trail behind them, closing the door quietly. Vegeta leads us to a cozy kitchen down a few flights of stairs, and I figure this is his own personal space. A kitchen for a place this size would be huge, and this little room is just about right for three or four people. He motions for my brother to sit, ignoring me icily, and turns to the cupboards, rummaging around and coming up with some tea. He starts a kettle on the stove as I carefully take Kakarot's bag from him. He still has it slung over his shoulder. I move to stand behind him, letting my hands rest lightly on his shoulders. Funny, how protective I feel of him. He's always been the elder these last few months, but now…

Vegeta pads back over to the table, leaning his hip against it but not sitting yet. "Now why are you here in the middle of the night?" he asks sharply.

"I…I left Chichi." My brother's voice is quiet, almost too low for a human to hear.

"What?" Vegeta is clearly stunned. His ebony eyes flare wide, and for once he has nothing clever to add.

"I left Chichi. Raditz…Raditz brought me here." Vegeta looks up at me for confirmation, icy hauteur forgotten. I nod solemnly.

"Well, for once the moron did something right," he sneers, and I narrow my eyes.

"Please, Vegeta, not tonight." Once again, my brother is intervening for me. He shouldn't have to be doing this…not tonight. He's right. But then, my prince was never a master at restraining his tongue. I can see him about to snap back something acid.

"Vegeta," I cut in quickly, harshly. "I think we should talk…out in the hall."

He looks like he's about to refuse, but then he looks back down at my brother, and nods curtly. I follow him, shaking out my wet hair impatiently. As he turns I begin, knowing I have to get the first few words in or this will turn into another fight.

"Kakarot is going through a terrible time right now. I pushed him to leave, and he hasn't really had time to deal with the decision. Now I know you want me here as much as you want a bag of cockroaches, but I _am_ going to stick by my brother, and _you_ are going to lay off for right now." I poke my finger lightly at his chest to emphasize, taking care not to touch him. I don't need to be distracted by that burning skin right now.

"Have you got it?"

He eyes me speculatively, and I'm shocked my plan worked. But I guess my prince still has his predilection for responding to a dominant tone. At least I don't think he's about to blow up on me.

"So you got him to leave, hm?" he asks, and I nod. "Guess you're good for something after all." And shockingly, he smiles at me. A predatory, mysterious smile that leaves me staring as he walks back into the kitchen. "Nice outfit, by the way," he calls over his shoulder. I can only watch him go, my heart beating a trip hammer in my chest. Shaking my head, I follow him back, see him pouring the tea. Three cups.

He takes them to the table, hands one to Kakarot, takes one, and places the other next to my brother. "So you need a place to stay, hm, Kakarot?"

My brother nods mutely, staring at the table. I return to his side, gently push on his hands so that he automatically brings the cup to his lips, takes a sip. "And I suppose you'll want your idiot of a brother staying here, too," Vegeta continues, but in a mild tone. Kakarot nods again, a bit more firmly.

"Fine. It's not like we don't have room. There're several spare bedrooms near mine, close to the gravity room. You can stay there." He watches Kakarot intently. My brother is just sitting there with the cup in his hands, staring into space. Vegeta flicks his eyes up to me. "Maybe you should take him to bed," he suggests, and again I'm surprised, both at the concern in his voice, and his insight. 

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." I gulp down the hot tea quickly, immediately regretting it as it scalds all the way down my throat. I pull Kakarot to his feet, grab up his bag, and again we follow Vegeta, up some stairs, through a few halls. I hope the bathroom is close, because I'm never going to be able to navigate in this maze. Vegeta opens the door on a small bedroom, two single beds up against the wall, a little nightstand separating them.

"I think you two should sleep in the same room tonight," Vegeta observes shrewdly, and I nod. Doing a lot of that tonight. "There's a bathroom attached…I'll see you in the morning." I look over my shoulder as I lead Kakarot to one of the beds, and Vegeta is still standing in the doorway, staring at us. He looks like he wants to say something, his dark eyes are full of some unexpressed emotion. I'm not sure how it's possible, but he's more beautiful than ever, and the urge to try and rip down those walls the years have put up is almost overwhelming. But even if there is a chance, my brother needs me tonight.

He's just standing there, in the middle of the room. I put our bags down, and reach out to turn him. My fingers brush across the bare skin of his upper arm and I frown. He's cold…and no wonder, he's wet, still, soaked from the rain. "Little brother, you need to take a shower, warm up," I comment to him lightly, and he turns his head to look at me, but says nothing. I sigh, and poke my head into the bathroom curiously. Pretty nice for a guest room, a big tub with a shower, toilet, sink, and linen closet. It's small, but everything in there looks expensive.

"Come on," I say, opening the door wider. Kakarot listlessly walks into the bathroom, again, taking his place in the middle and just standing there. Am I going to have to do this for him? I duck in behind him, turn on the water, letting it heat to just this bearable side of hot, hoping by the time I'm done he'll have taken the hint and gotten undressed. No such luck.

"Kakarot, you need to warm up. Come on, you have to get undressed." His eyes are following me wherever I go, filled with a sort of quiet desperation. I think briefly that maybe I made wrong decision, pushing him like that. But no…he just needs some time to adjust. I can take care of him for that long. He's fumbling with clumsy fingers at his shirt now, slowly pulling it over his head. At least I don't have to do _that_ for him. His pants follow equally slowly to the ground, until there's a pile of clothes puddled around his feet.

"Okay, now get in the shower," I direct, and he dreamily climbs into the tub, standing directly under the hot spray, letting it hit his face furiously, little droplets of water flying everywhere. I wonder if I should wash him? He is in the shower…but then, he's not particularly dirty. I watch him for a little while, see if he's going to do anything, but he just stands there. Ah, well.

I strip off my own shirt, and snag a fresh wash cloth from the sink. I wet it under the showerhead, gently pushing Kakarot back a little, so the spray is now hitting his chest and stomach instead of his face, then turn him, so it's now on his back. As I rub a bar of some floral soap into the wet cloth, my mind wanders back to my childhood.

Father didn't want any part in caring for his second child, and Mother was often busy. I wasn't old enough to be out of the house much yet, so I ended up taking care of my baby brother more often then not. I never minded…it was kind of like having a little pet, as Kakarot had been even more active than the average Saiyan child. He would whine and cry whenever I wasn't in the same room with him, so I ended up carrying him around almost everywhere, perched on my shoulder like a little monkey, his tail curled snugly around my neck.

Not surprisingly, I ended up feeding, changing, and bathing him much of the time. Quite a big load for a small child, but I had nothing better to do with my time, and already our father had instilled in me the sense of responsibility that would later lead me to the Royal Guard, in our father's footsteps. Kakarot, normally a squirmy child, always calmed when I gave him a bath, smiling beatifically up at me and curling his tiny tail around my skinny wrist. 

As I run the washcloth in gentle circles over Kakarot's chest, I think how similar this seems, even in our adulthood. It reinforces my sense of fraternity, and a fierce wave of protectiveness washes over me, reinforcing my earlier instincts. I wash his neck gently, then scrub softly at his thighs. "Turn around," I murmur, and he faces into the spray, the soap running in white tendrils down his body to disappear into the drain. His eyes are no longer following me, he has them closed, and I'm glad. That naked look of vulnerability in them is a little too intense for me right now.

I work on his back equally gently, running the cloth down his buttocks briefly, then washing his legs. I peer at the scar where his tail used to be curiously. I've seen other Saiyans so mutilated in my life, but never up close like this. It's a strange raised ridge, but there's no stump. It must have been cut pretty close. I touch it lightly, running my forefinger over the tissue.

I hear a soft sigh, and look up to see my brother lolling his head backward. I can't see his face, and I stand, forgetting the scar, worried. But the expression on his face is more relaxed, calmer, though he isn't exactly smiling. Just like when he was a kid. I'm glad I decided to do this for him, it seems it's helping at least a little. I return to running the wash cloth in slow circles up over his shoulders then down to the small of his back, over that little ridge of scar tissue. Every now and then he lets out a small noise, though I can't honestly tell what's causing it. It sounds happy enough, though, so I stop worrying, and just let him sit under the hot spray, rubbing his back.

After a while, I realize my fingers are wrinkling up from the water, and I figure I should probably put my brother to bed. I gently turn him again, this time letting the spray rinse his back. As I'm watching his back to make sure it's rinsed well, I completely miss the fact that he's now at least partially aroused. But I notice soon enough. I find a hot blush creeping over my cheeks, and I turn off the water hastily. As natural as I know these reactions are among Saiyan males, it's still pretty embarrassing to see it on my brother. I busy myself with fetching a large towel, then hand it awkwardly to Kakarot.

He looks at it, then hands it back to me with a blank expression. I sigh, and motion for him to come out of the tub, then get to work briskly drying him, carefully avoiding his groin. But he's still semi-aroused, and finally I leave him standing there to go root through his bag. At least I can get him something to wear so I don't have to keep looking at it! But again, I'm thwarted.

Kakarot hasn't packed anything that looks comfortable enough to sleep in. A few sets of clothes, some books that I'm sure belong to Chichi, an alarm clock, and two light bulbs. Great. I fetch a spare pair of shorts from my own bag and take them in to my brother. He takes them wordlessly, and pulls them on. They're a bit baggy, hanging low on his hips, but they stay on, and that's good enough for me. I shoot a longing glance at the shower, but I'm not comfortable leaving Kakarot alone right now, so I'll have to skip it for tonight. I settle for drying my torso, stripping off the by-now-ruined leather pants, then rubbing down my legs. Another clean pair of shorts and I'm ready to go. If I'm going to be sleeping in someone else's house, I should probably forgo my usual sleep-naked preference.

"Okay, Kakarot, time for bed," I say, and he follows me back into the bedroom, then simply stares at the bed. I turn down the covers, and he slides into the bed. I cover him again, almost tenderly, and I turn to sit on my own bed. He's just lying there, staring blankly forward, not moving at all. Well, if I'm going to treat him as though he was a child again…

"Turn over, Kakarot, lie on your stomach." He does so mechanically, turning his head so he's facing the wall. I perch on the edge of the bed, and pull back the covers from his upper body. Again, I begin to rub his back, slow, comforting circles. He lets out a low breath, and I see his muscles relax slowly. He moves his arms up to pillow his head, and I gently run my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, lightly massaging the scalp, before returning to the soothing backrub.

After awhile, I become aware of a low, rumbling noise just at the edge of my hearing. Kakarot is purring, deep in his chest, and I smile my satisfaction. For some reason, it feels good to take care of him like this, help ease some of his pain and depression. I give him a final pat, then move over to my bed. I'm exhausted, it has been one of the most fatiguing days in my life.

"Raditz?" My brother turns his head to look at me. His eyes are sleepy, his face calm. I slip under the covers.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." 

I smile at him. "You're welcome."

"Raditz?"

"Hmmm?"

"Will you stay awake until I fall asleep?" I sigh softly, but keep my face open, accepting.

"Yes, Kakarot."

I slide back out from under the covers. No use getting too comfortable. I prop myself up against the headboard, pulling my knees up to my chest, resting my chin across the top of them. Kakarot smiles happily at me, and lets his eyes drift close. I watch his chest for the even rising and falling of sleep…


	12. Eleven

I wake still propped up against the headboard, half slumped over, and enormously sore. I stretch painfully, a series of pops and crackles heralding my alert state. I glance over to the other bed, and notice my brother is gone. I frown, and climb out of bed hastily. The sun shining through the window is soft and muted, and I glance outside quickly. Still overcast.

"Kakarot?" I poke my head into the bathroom, but he isn't there, either. Oh great, now I get to roam the halls of this impossible place to try and find him. I venture out into the hall, glancing up and down it, but seeing nothing that would lead me to my wandering brother. However, the thick aroma of bacon lets me know that I can probably find the way to the kitchen again. Well, if I find someone else, maybe they can tell me where Kakarot is.

I try and memorize my route as I head back to the little kitchen we had tea in last night, but I soon find myself hopelessly lost. It's one of my least favorite traits about myself…I have absolutely no sense of direction. I hear familiar voices as I come ever closer to that tantalizing bacon smell, accompanied now by a delicious crackling noise. I sure as hell hope one of those voices is Kakarot, because I'm damn hungry! 

For once, luck is with me. Kakarot sits at the little table in jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt with a scoop neck. It's strange seeing him without his customary gi, but I noticed last night that he had neglected to bring one. Vegeta is standing at the stove, frying the bacon. And eggs. I groan inwardly at the tight black denim that molds his ass and muscular thighs so enticingly. Well, I suppose it's good to know some things never change; I'm attracted to hopeless relationships and Vegeta looks absolutely ravishing in black. A huge pitcher of orange juice sits on the table, and a half-empty glass of the same in front of my brother, He smiles at me as I walk in…not his usually sunny grin, but much better than the blunted emotions of last night.

"Morning, Raditz," he greets me quietly, and Vegeta turns to look at me. A tight indigo tank top does nothing to hide the broad planes of his chest and shoulders, and I quickly pull my eyes back to my brother before I embarrass myself.

"Hey, Kakarot. How are you doing this morning?" I pull out a chair and spin it around so I can perch backwards on it, leaning on the back, stretching out my tortured spine and pressing my bare chest into the wooden bars. He shrugs at me, taking another gulp of the orange juice.

"I've been better. But I've been worse, too," he says, flicking his eyes down to the tabletop, then back to Vegeta. "Vegeta's making me breakfast."

"I suppose you'll want some, too?" said prince inquires with some irritation, and I turn to look at him. Damn, but he's beautiful when he scowls like that. All I can do is smile back.

"Yeah, if you don't mind." He eyes me up and down, and turns wordlessly back to the stove, adding some more bacon to the pan. Strange, and unsettling. Has he really changed that much since I last knew him? Or is it just these 'special' circumstances? And when did he learn how to cook? Like my brother and youngest nephew, I'm pretty useless in the kitchen.

"Raditz?"

I turn back to my brother, cocking one eyebrow curiously. "Yeah?"

"I wanted to thank you, for last night. I really wasn't myself….leaving Chichi…well, it was kind of a shock." I open my mouth to apologize, but he cuts me off with a wave of his hand. "Not that it wasn't something I needed to do. You were right, we don't really…fit. But I don't think I could have left on my own. So I guess I have two things to thank you for…kicking me in the butt to get me going, and taking care of me."

I reach over, grab his hand across the table, give it a brief squeeze. "Hey, that's what I'm here for," I say, and again that warm feeling of protectiveness and satisfaction in my role glows inside me. Funny, I never thought of myself as a natural caretaker. But something about Kakarot brings out that side in me. A month from now, we'll probably be back to the same old him superior/me inferior relationship, but right now it's nice to be needed.

He squeezes my hand back, then releases it, so I tuck it under my chin again. "Are you…you are going to stick around for awhile, right?" he asks, a bit hesitantly. I grin broadly back at him.

"As long as you need me, little brother. Well, and as long as Vegeta lets me stick around." I glance over to the prince, who is now transferring the monumental pile of bacon onto a plate, and working on the eggs. I notice a plate piled high with toast over on the sideboard, and I stand up to get it, catching Vegeta's eye as I do so.

"Well, as long as I have to deal with Kakarot, I might as well deal with you, too," he mutters, but I can see a small smile quirking the corner of his lip up. Is he actually glad to have us here? Curiouser and curiouser. I take the toast to the table, and then begin searching cupboards for some plates. "Second one to your left," Vegeta directs as he finishes up on the eggs, transferring them to an enormous serving dish.

I find the silverware on my own, and breakfast is ready. My stomach rumbles ominously as I sit down, and my tail waves slowly behind me in anticipation. By now I'm used to the twin looks of fascination and longing on both Vegeta and Kakarot's faces as their eyes are drawn to the swaying dark pelt behind me. A double sigh, and they both turn to the food. We all dig in with a seriousness that only a Saiyan can direct towards food, and soon the simple repast Vegeta prepared is demolished, and we're full for at least another hour or two.

I curl my tail neatly around my waist as I lean back, scratching my bare chest idly. "Hey, Vegeta," I break in to the silence with a question that's been bugging me for awhile. "How come you guys don't get the dragonballs and use them to wish your tails back?"

It's Kakarot that looks at me, though, his eyes suddenly bright with excitement. "Wow! I never thought of that! Why couldn't we, Vegeta?" He turns to the smaller man, his bright face eager.

"Because, idiot, what if something happened, and we needed them again right away? What would we do? What a ridiculous wish. Besides, tails are a weakness. We don't need Oozaru form, so why should we need tails?" His voice is harsh, dismissive, but his eyes tell a different story. I wonder why he's denying what is so obvious?

"Oh, come on, Vegeta, you know we always get _years_ notice whenever something big is up! That would be so fun! Go find the dragonballs and wish everyone's tails back! I know I miss mine…" He turns to look over his shoulder mournfully, and I almost burst out laughing. But I realize why my brother has latched on to this so hard…he needs something to do right now, something to think about other than his split with Chichi. I can understand that, and I lock eyes with Vegeta, trying to make him understand how important this is. Unfortunately I've never been that good a communicator without words or actions, so Vegeta just scowls at me, obviously not understanding.

"I suppose we could go in a few days, Kakarot," Vegeta concludes, glancing over at my brother. Hmm, I forgot to factor in that Vegeta is considerably more intelligent than I am. Who needs me making weird faces for him to get it?

"A few days?" Does my brother always sound this childish when he's talking to Vegeta?

"Alright, maybe tomorrow." And since when is Vegeta so genial? Huh. I guess love makes you do strange things. If Vegeta is actually in love with Kakarot. I can't honestly tell…he's obviously attracted to him, but beyond that, I don't know. Vegeta has always been hard to read, and though that seems to have changed pretty drastically over the years, I'm still not up to all the subtleties of my prince's expressions. Then again…of course, this is the perfect opportunity for Vegeta to jump Kakarot! Chichi's no longer in the way…damn it, he's not ready for that yet!

"I'm coming, too," I state decisively, and am surprised to see Vegeta now eyeing me speculatively. I thought for sure he'd be pissed. But Kakarot just nods.

"Of course you are. You said you'd stay with me."

"What are you guys planning?" The voice is behind us, and I lean back, arching backwards to see who's come in the kitchen. The upside down face staring back at me has a pair of glorious blue eyes and is framed by soft lavender hair. Oh shit. I straighten up hastily, tucking my tail firmly around my waist to hide my agitation. The last thing I need is Vegeta to find out what's been going on with his son.

"Hey Trunks! We're going to get the dragonballs, and wish everyone's tail back!" Kakarot's voice has gained some of it's old warmth and cheer in his excitement over this new adventure.

"Huh," Trunks comments, opening the fridge and sticking his head inside. Vegeta watches his son idly, and I turn my face hastily away, afraid he'll see the crimson stain there. Of course, now I'm looking directly at his son's shapely rear, which is hardly any better. "Hey, Dad?" Trunks asks from the depths of the fridge. "Did I ever have a tail?"

"Yes," Vegeta growls in response, "But the woman had it cut off when you were a baby. _Against_ my wishes." Trunks straightens, the loose black cotton pants he wears finally allowing me a safe haven to rest my eyes on. He pulls out the milk and pours himself a glass. 

"So me, Goten, and Gohan would grow one back, too? That's cool. Neat idea, Goku."

"Actually, it was Raditz'," Kakarot comments, giving Trunks an excuse to look at me. And look at me he does, sweeping his eyes from my flushed face, down my bare chest, lingering on my hip bones before taking in my baggy shorts and bare feet. He then takes a slow swallow of his milk, running his tongue lightly over his upper lip as he holds my dark eyes with his paler ones.

"Good idea, Raditz," he says. Is it my imagination, or has his voice gone seductively low? He sure hasn't taken offense at my hasty retreat last night.

"I…uh…I need to take a shower." I stand hastily, thankful for the looseness of my shorts. My hand automatically goes to the back of my neck, and I turn to smile at my little brother. "You going to be okay, Kakarot?" 

He nods encouragingly at me. "Yeah, I suppose I should talk to Bulma about borrowing the dragonball radar, and pack, and…" I flick my eyes over to Vegeta. He's staring hard at his son, then he looks at me. A small frown furrows his brow, and I swallow.

"Okay, see you later!" I leave the kitchen quickly, knowing it's going to be hopeless…I'll never find my way back to the room now.

As I climb the stairs, I hear a low voice behind me. "Can you find your way back okay?" It's Trunks, he's followed me. Shitshitshit. 

"Oh yeah, I'm fine."

"You're going the wrong way." He slips by me, just brushing his shoulder against my arm, then turns around. "Come on," he purrs, and leads me back to the room. By the time we reach the door, I'm staring fixedly at the ceiling, so I miss it when he stops, and I run into him. He laughs and turns, running his fingers lightly up my chest.

"So I guess you're going to be staying with us for awhile," he purrs, looking up at me hungrily.

"Um, yes…Trunks, I don't think…" I stammer, licking my lips nervously.

"Oh, don't worry, Raditz. I'm not going to force anything on you that you don't want…" His voice is low and husky, and unconsciously my tail uncurls from my waist, flicking around my hip. He leans his warm body into me, and it's much better without the mesh, just my bare skin against the soft cotton of his tank top. I lick my lips again, but it's not in nervousness this time.

His hips do a slow roll as he grinds himself sensually against my upper thigh, putting one finger in his mouth and letting his tongue swirl around it suggestively. He pulls it out of his mouth wetly, then reaches up to run that slick finger down the side of my neck, lightly scraping with his nail. I can't help it, I let my mouth fall open as a low groan escapes me. He smiles wickedly, running his thumb over my bottom lip softly.

"What I am going to do," he murmurs, watching in delight as I flick my tongue out to taste the pad of his thumb, "Is tease you unmercifully. Until you're _begging_ for me." I blink down at him, not really thinking straight as he pulls his thumb back from my mouth and lightly licks it himself tasting my saliva. "Maps are in every guest room, in the nightstand. See you later, Raditz."

And he walks away. Just like that, he sashays his ass down the hall and around the corner. GODS! Either tempt me to do something awful, or don't, but leaving me halfway like this? When were teenagers so goddamn canny about how to drive a man mad? I lean up against the door panting heavily. The only blessing is that I'm alone and about to take a shower, so I can take care of this. But still…! My life is getting far too complicated, far too fast.


	13. Twelve

[Song quoted herein is "Wicked Game" by Chris Issacs.]

The map is right where he said it would be. I'm trying to memorize it as I brush out my once again wet hair, but I'm failing miserably. I set the brush aside, and pick up the map, figuring I should find Kakarot again, he's had plenty of alone time with Vegeta. I make my way to the little kitchen with few problems, but they're not there anymore, just a pile of rinsed dishes in the sink. I peer at the map again, but have no idea where I would find Vegeta's woman. My brother did say he needed to visit her. Hmm. I don't really want to go wandering around the house uninvited, especially since I don't know anybody here. I decide to head outside, instead, get a breath of fresh air.

A quick consultation of the map gets me to the front door, and the smell of rain-cleansed air fills my nostrils. I smile happily, looking around at the fertile grounds of Vegeta's house. Though I suppose it isn't really his house, it's his woman's. Either way, they have a lush lawn, a little grove of trees, and what looks like an extensive garden out back. I walk around the house, perusing the garden lazily. It's heavy on sweet smelling flowers and fruit, but well maintained. I get lost in my examination of some sort of bush with white flowers on it, and don't notice the woman walk up behind me.

"And you are?" Her voice is pleasant, but sharp. I turn to look, and see one of these humans. This one is rather pretty, with blue hair cut sensibly short and deep blue eyes that remind me of Trunks. I remember the pictures Goten showed me…this must be Bulma.

"I'm Raditz. Kakarot's brother."

She looks me up and down speculatively, her blue eyes as quick as her son's, revealing the diamond sharp mind behind them. "Mmhmm…" she murmurs, then grins at me toothily, like a shark. "You're quite a tasty package, aren't you?" I blink at her in surprise.

"Uh…aren't you…Vegeta's woman?" Is everyone around here so damn unsettling? And on the prowl?

"No, Vegeta's my man," she says smugly. "Doesn't stop me from admiring, though, and more. Vegeta and I have a little understanding…" and she drops me an exaggerated wink, running one finger down my forearm suggestively. I want to say something, but I have no idea how to get out of this one. Suddenly, she pulls back, and starts laughing, silvery bells chiming in the cool breeze.

"Oh, you should see your face!" she exclaims, reaching up to pat me on the shoulder. "Don't worry about me, I know you don't swing my way, Vegeta told me all about you."

I can't decide what's worse, having to deal with Vegeta's woman getting friendly with me, or knowing that he's told her "all about" me. "Look, Bulma-"

She interrupts me without qualm. "Hey, you're probably looking for your brother, right? He was going to head to the gravity chamber, to train with Vegeta. And-" she adds, seeing me opening my mouth again, "His royal highness didn't say anything too awful or scandalous about you. Just that you guys used to have a relationship. He won't tell me much more than that…I wonder why?" Those wicked blue eyes sparkle alarmingly, and I wonder if I'm going to get out of here intact. My prince certainly found a good match in this hellcat…no wonder Trunks is so appealing!

"Look, on a more serious note, I want to thank you for getting Goku out of the house." Her face has instantly transformed into maternal older woman. Quite amazing, really.

"I thought you advised him to give Chichi some time," I say, a bit suspiciously.

"I did…but I think I was wrong. Goku's such a great guy…I thought if Chichi got used to him being back, they'd work things out. But things were just getting worse and worse between them. I think they'll both be happier apart. I mean, she never really got over him being dead for seven years, when he could have made the choice to come back. That's hard for anyone…"

I have to admit, if someone I loved did that, it would be hard to deal with. I nod in understanding, and she smiles at me warmly. "I'm glad I got to meet you, Raditz. I'll leave you to find Goku…oh, and before I forget, Piccolo called looking for you earlier this morning." A slightly puzzled look crosses her features. "I didn't even know he could use a phone…anyways, I got stuff to do, world-altering inventions to produce!" She waves cheerfully at me, and disappears into a little door at the end of the garden, back into the cavernous house.

Well, I can't call Piccolo…does he have a phone? He must have found one somewhere to call here…why doesn't he just use his mystic powers to think stuff to me? And why does he want to talk to me anyway? Simpler all around if I just find my brother, bug out for a few days or so, ignore the whole thing. I sigh. This little quest of my brother's is starting to look better and better, but I can't quite convince myself everything's going to be okay when I get back. It's just easier to put it off for awhile.

I meander back around to the front of the house and head back in, using the map again, getting lost only twice before I find the door to the gravity chamber. I look in the small window in the door, but I don't see anyone in there. But I can here voices down the hall…well, one voice. It's my brother. I follow my ears and come around a corner to find a very unsettled Vegeta. The cause for his unease is leaning against the wall; Kakarot has his hand over his face and is obviously crying, his shoulders hitching painfully.

Vegeta looks up at my arrival, and his black eyes are woefully lost, a trace of anger floating through their depths at his powerlessness over the situation. I step forward, ignoring him; instead I say softly, "Kakarot?"

He looks up at me, and his eyes have bled to that terrible red that signals real heartache. Real heartache is never pretty; it's messy, sloppy, and downright ugly. "Y-yes?" he sniffles rather pathetically, and my heart goes out to him. Wordlessly I gather him into my arms, let him sob against my chest as I smooth my hands lightly down his back. I dip my head, letting my forehead press against that ragged spray of black hair, so like my own, but shorter.

"Shh, little brother. It's going to be okay," I speak in low tones to him, the way I might to a frightened animal. I can hear his voice muffled in my t-shirt.

"I just…don't know what…what I'm going to do without her," he moans brokenly, and I respond with little soothing noises in the back of my throat.

"It's okay…it's okay…" Almost unconsciously I begin to sway slightly, rocking him as I pet his hair softly. My eyes are closed as I keep up a continuous stream of soothing murmurs, barely noticing when I slip into old Saiyan. I can feel his tears soaking through my shirt, but the quaking of his body is slowing. I can hear the huge gasping breaths that are often the aftermath of serious crying. Gently, I wrap my tail around his waist.

It's something of a surprise to me when I feel warm fingers collide with my own. I open my eyes to see Vegeta standing at Kakarot's back. He's put out one hand hesitantly and is running it in slow circles over my brother's back. I look down at him warily, holding his eyes with some warning in my own. His answering gaze is fierce, but also somewhat confused. I wonder what he did when his own children cried? Did he hold and rock them? Or did he leave that to his woman? He seems to have no experience with this…but to my great shock he takes another step forward and wraps his arms around Kakarot's waist, leaning his cheek against the broad expanse of my brother's back. His arms are warm and heavy along the underside of my tail. Gods, but he looks so small, this close to me and Kakarot. His thick upsweep of hair brushes softly over my moving hands.

But Kakarot's breathing is slowing, easing, and the tension in his body is also leaving him. He relaxes against my chest, his fingers no longer clutching the back of my shirt so desperately. Finally he pulls back, and wipes uselessly at his face, his eyes still downcast. I tilt his chin up, and catch his eyes, looking at him seriously. "Okay?" I ask softly.

He nods mutely, using his thumb to clear the salty pools beneath his eyes, and sniffing loudly. I allow a small smile to shine through, and to my gratification he smiles back, weakly. "I'm sorry, Raditz," he mumbles. "I was doing okay this morning, but on the way to the gravity room, it hit me…" I brush away the moisture that has trailed down his cheeks.

"It's okay, Kakarot. No one expects you to get through this without a hitch. You were with her for over 25 years."

"I know. I was just thinking how she was going to be mad, because I was going to spar in my regular clothes…" he trails off, looking down at himself. "Isn't that funny? I was thinking of her being angry, and it made me feel so sad." He looks back up at me. "Is this going to go away?"

I sigh. I don't know how to answer…clearly, it never went away for me. But I hope it will for Kakarot, not only for his sake, but because I'm not sure I can live with the guilt if it doesn't. "Yeah, it will," I answer as though sure of myself. "You just have to give it time, little brother."

He smiles at me again, this time with more conviction. "Okay. Do you want to come spar with me and Vegeta? I was going to ask you earlier, but you took off so quickly, I didn't have a chance."

I look over my shoulder at Vegeta, long since moved away and now leaning against the wall, arms crossed solidly over his chest, scowling uncomfortably. "I'm hardly in your league," I begin, glancing back to my brother.

"Oh, that's okay. We won't power up…" He touches his hand briefly to my shoulder. "Please, big brother?"

I have to grin at that. I think it's the first time he's used that title for me. "Okay, you win." 

He turns, looks down at Vegeta, and though I can't see his face, I'm sure he's smiling. Vegeta merely frowns back up at him, forefinger tapping impatiently against his elbow. "Thanks, Vegeta," Kakarot says, and shockingly, Vegeta turns those deep black eyes to the ground, unable to answer. Kakarot pats him on the shoulder lightly, then turns back to me. "Come on, I'll show you the gravity room." I trail after him, glancing over my shoulder to see my prince following behind. He arches an eyebrow at me as our eyes meet, but that's all. I wonder how much of what just happened is genuine sympathy for my brother, or a rather transparent ploy to get into his pants. And how much does it matter to me?

The gravity chamber is fairly plain, though vast, with a simple tile floor and a petite instrument panel in one corner. I glance around uninterestedly, watch my brother pull off his shirt in preparation. I wonder why he bothers…glancing over at Vegeta, I see the smaller man stretching gracefully, loosening his back with a series of muffled pops. I crouch down, wincing as my thigh muscles groan, still stiff from my vigil last night. I stand, rolling my neck loosely and shaking out my tail.

"We don't really need to turn up the gravity for a spar," Vegeta notes somewhat dispassionately, and my brother responds.

"No, not really. Raditz has never trained under higher gravity…have you?" 

I shake my head, then amend, "Well, gravity on Vegeta-sei was higher than here on Earth…but that doesn't really count." My brother throws me a fleeting smile.

"Actually, if Vegeta doesn't mind, I'd like to do some training in here with you. It's been really helpful for me in becoming stronger. But for today, we'll just have some fun."

I grin toothily back at him, kicking off my shoes and bouncing forward on the balls of my feet. My tail lashes behind me in excitement. Despite all the confusion in my life, I am still a Saiyan. And fighting's what I live for, the one thing that makes everything else seem petty and small. The one thing I can actually use to forget it all for awhile. I shake out my heavy mane of hair as I look over at Vegeta, who's pressing one knee to his chest rhythmically. The graceful curves of his muscled body are clearly defined in the form fitting black spandex, and I no longer feel like biting my tongue, or pretending indifference. I openly admire him, letting my eyes roam over his body freely. He ignores me, finishing his warm-up stretches indifferently, but I smile to myself. He won't be so indifferent when I get that perfect flesh under my fist…

"Hey, why don't we do two against one, okay?" my brother throws out into the cavernous room, some of his old enthusiasm leaking through as the genetic vanguard to his youngest son. "You and Vegeta against me?"

Vegeta snorts, probably because to accept that challenge is to admit that he's lesser than my brother, that he needs back-up, but Kakarot continues quickly, "I know you'll both beat me pretty easily, but I'd like the challenge today." Vegeta glances speculatively over at me, and I raise my eyebrows questioningly at him. _Why not?_

I walk over to Vegeta, the thought of fighting by his side only furthering my anticipation. I can hear my blood whisper softly in my head, and I clench my broad hands into fists. He looks up at me with a familiar smirk of violence and victory anticipated. It thrills me…brings back the prince I knew instead of this strange new creature that seems so uncontrolled, so soft. "Remember the mines of Hakush?" he almost purrs, and it takes me back.

There were times when Lord Frieza wanted only small sections of a planet cleared, so when he sent us Saiyans out to do the job, we landed together, in the same place, instead of spreading out to cause more destruction within a shorter period of time. On Hakush it had only been myself and Prince Vegeta. I don't remember why Nappa wasn't there. I hadn't yet become involved with my prince, but looking back, that may have been the precursor to our relationship. We fought side by side in the close, damp quarters of the cobalt mines, and for a few glorious moments, we had meshed with each other, anticipating the other's moves with clockwork precision.

I nod to him, and it only occurs to me a few moments later to wonder why _he_ remembered it. But already I'm turning to face my brother, dropping into a ready crouch, feeling Vegeta do the same at my back. My smile mirrors Kakarot's, two feral grins flashing at each other over the red tile floor as my tail uncurls from my waist, tensing behind me in anticipation. And then I'm lunging forward, diving for my brother with outstretched hands.

I duck under the punch he sends flying at my face, snagging his wrist as Vegeta uses my back for a boost, over me and slamming into Kakarot heavily. My brother staggers to the side but is held in place by my hand on his forearm. Quick to respond, his own hand wraps around my wrist, forming an unbreakable bond as he swings my body around, using me like a living bat. I have to wrench my body violently to stop my feet from impacting with a now crouching Vegeta. Instead I get slammed into the wall, knocking the breath from me noisily.

Kakarot lets loose my wrist, turning to Vegeta, but I don't let my lack of ability to breathe stop me, doubling my fists and bringing them smashing down into Kakarot's neck. He lets out two great lungfuls of air, but spins away from both of us, Vegeta following closely, throwing in a powerful kick to the solar plexus. It's the impetus that sends Vegeta and I spinning around Kakarot, aiming flurries of furious punches and kicks to his body. He's as good as I've expected, though, blocking some, dodging others, but keeping pace with the two of us attacking him.

As we three dance raggedly in and around each other, my focus narrows, concentrating only on the sights in front of me: the hint of blood at the corner of a mouth, the quick tension in a shoulder that heralds in incoming punch, the flick of black eyes that telegraphs a dodge. The sounds of struggle pound through my ears: thick thuds, meaty collisions, the creak of stressed bones, the slick sound of tongues wetting overheated lips, the chorus of grunts and groans that punctuate each blow with musical clarity. And overriding it all is the insistent pounding of the blood in my head, singing me out a rhythm that orchestrates my every move.

This is life. I hook my arm around Kakarot's neck, pulling his body back into a severe arch. Vegeta takes the opportunity to pound in a few choice blows to his stomach. This is love. Kakarot flips me forward, over his body, retaining a hold on my neck. But I angle my body as I fly through the air, twisting sideways to force him to spiral around to follow me, bending him forward and to the side as he grinds his thick fingers into the flesh of my throat, bruising me, caressing me joyously. This is everything. Vegeta spins almost lazily, punching viciously into the small of Kakarot's back, wringing a high pitched cry from him as he releases me.

Our dance continues, but now Vegeta and I are finding our groove, starting to move together without having to think about it, and Kakarot is falling back, forced into a more defensive stance as we weave around him. Vegeta is landing more hits than me, but I'm getting in my fair share, though I'm not sure how much damage I'm doing. I can taste the copper honey in my mouth, my own blood, flowing from the last good punch he got into my jaw. It complements perfectly the stinging smell of blood and sweat from the other two Saiyans, a riot on my senses. But still, we can't quite break through Kakarot, he's still holding us back, the dark gleam in his eyes testament to the effort it takes, and how much he's enjoying it. Never let me claim again that the Earth has blunted my sibling.

I leap into the air before I even realize why I'm doing it, eyes catching Vegeta moving under my air-born body and slamming heavily into Kakarot. I flip neatly over my brother's head, landing behind him, and again hook my arm over his neck, this time wrapping my other arm lower, around the bottom curve of his rib cage. Vegeta's force sends us both back against the wall, but I cling on desperately, twisting my leg around to hook over his thigh, holding him to the ground. Vegeta straddles his lap, holding his hand like a blade to Kakarot's throat, and I wrap my tail around my brother's waist, effectively cocooning him with my body. It's over. I blink, breathing heavily through the spiked mess of my brother's hair.

"We win," Vegeta rumbles from his perch atop Kakarot, and his grin is both bloody and primitive, calling forth some ancient voice within me to howl our triumph to the moon that no longer exists. Kakarot's chest is heaving under my hand, his stomach pushing softly at my tail as he breaths out, then collapsing back in with an intake of air. I don't have to see his face to know that he's smiling just as fiercely back at Vegeta. My prince meets my eyes hungrily, letting his own obsidian depths crawl over the tangled pile of myself and my brother, eating us visually, and it seems right, proper. He is the Prince of all Saiyans, and isn't it his right to take as he pleases from his subjects?

"Um, Vegeta, Raditz? You can let me up now." My brother's voice cuts annoyingly through the lustful red haze that's clouding my mind, allowing the more self-conscious part of myself to wave a mental finger in front of me in an attempt to get my attention. I let my tail unwind loosely as Vegeta sits back. He does not, however, get up, which leaves me effectively trapped underneath my brother. I shift to distribute my weight a little more comfortably, and move my arm up, so that both hands and forearms rest loosely like a heavy necklace around Kakarot's collarbone.

Kakarot turns his head slightly, but I still can't see his face, only the wondering corner of one black eye. His gaze flick back to Vegeta as the smaller man leans in suddenly, his tongue flicking out snake-quick to taste the corner of my brother's mouth. I can't help myself, drawing in a surprised gasp of breath, echoing with Kakarot's own shock. Just as quickly, Vegeta quits his perch, standing in front of us both with an enigmatic half-grin.

"I'm going to go take a shower," he announces, and turns on his heel and walks away, slipping through the gravity room door with an extremely seductive sway of his hips. I swallow audibly, cursing myself for my lack of self-control. Wasn't I supposed to be over this guy? My brother shifts on top of my, half turning.

"Raditz?" he asks hesitantly, and I respond slowly, still lost in thoughts of my prince.

"Hmmm?"

"Can you-" Ah, of course! I untangle our legs, and pull my arms back. Kakarot rises to his feet, offering me a hand up. "Well, that was a good fight," he continues, his voice a little shaky, as I accept the proffered assist and pull myself upright. I study his face intently, and see some of my own confusion reflected there. But he puts it away quickly, rubbing the back of his head with a laugh.

"Wow, Vegeta can sure act peculiarly sometimes!" I blink, not really understanding what I'm hearing. Is he really _that_ stupid? Did the blatant look of invitation in Vegeta's eyes just go sailing over his head? Then again, I'm none too swift when it comes to relationships, either. Maybe it's genetic.

"Yeah," I respond a bit gruffly. "Weird." If it was anyone else, I might have enlightened them. But it's too early for my brother…at least, that's what I tell myself, neatly sublimating the wave of poison jealousy that twists my stomach queasily.

Kakarot continues gamely, "Hey, did you want to see the dragonball radar? It's actually pretty neat." Shrugging, I follow my brother out of the gravity room, and we pick our way through the corridors. Waiting at the door to our room is another welcome/unwelcome sight; Trunks lounges against the doorframe insolently, smiling lazily as we approach.

"Oh, hey, there you are. Mom wanted me to track you guys down."

I can't help it, I run a hand over my sweaty brow self-consciously, pushing a few stray strands of hair out of my face. Kakarot is the one who answers the younger man. "Hi Trunks. Did she say what she wanted?"

"Yeah, I guess when Videl came by to drop Pan off to play with Bra, she brought Gohan. He wanted to say hello, since you're here." My smile is genuine at the news; it'll be nice to see my oldest nephew and his family. I didn't realize Vegeta's daughter was close in age to my grandniece, though. Kakarot turns to me with a matching smile.

"Maybe we should get changed first, though," I remind him, fingering his sweat soaked t-shirt, and he nods, laughing.

"Yeah, you're right." He turns to Trunks, who still slouches there attractively, eyeing me. "Can you tell Gohan we'll be right down? Where is he, anyways?"

"Sure, Goku. I think everyone is out in the garden. Mom's talking about doing a barbecue, since we've got such a crowd here today." Trunks smiles at the huge grin that lights up my brother's face.

"Great! Thanks, Trunks." My brother bounds into our room, and I hear the bathroom door open and slam shut right before the water turns on. I move to follow him, half-dreading, half-hoping that Trunks will stop me. I'm feeling incredibly horny, and just off-balance enough that I'm not sure I can turn him down right now. But he picks that instant to push off from the doorframe and saunter down the hall, leaving me sighing in the doorway. I bang my head a few times against the wall in frustration, prompting my brother to poke his head and half his body out the door. Of course, he's completely naked.

"You okay, Raditz?" he asks, eyebrows raised in question.

"Fine, Kakarot," I growl. Gods, if I don't get something soon, I'm going to jump my own goddamn brother!

"Okay," he says brightly, and ducks back into the bathroom. I busy myself with digging through my bag for clean clothes. I don't really want to take __another__ shower, so I settle for picking out a clean shirt and pants, stripping, and heading into the bathroom myself.

I ignore my brother in the shower, a difficult task when he's crooning to himself above the rush of the water. As I grab a washcloth from the linen closet and wet it in the sink, I shake my head, not knowing whether I should laugh or cuff him a few times around the ears.

"_The world was on fire,   
Nobody could save me but you.  
Strange what desire,  
Makes foolish people do_."

I rub some of the liquid soap into the washcloth, sniffing at it experimentally. Lavender. Oh well, could be worse. Could be roses. I scrub my face and neck vigorously, staring blankly into the fogged up mirror. 

"_I never dreamed that  
I'd love somebody like you,  
No I never dreamed that I'd   
Lose somebody like you._"

A few quick swipes under the armpits and over the chest, and I figure it's good enough. I turn the water back on, letting it run to an nice, icy cold, and splash it over my face and chest, blinking at pleasantly chilly sensation. Of course, I manage to get a good deal of the soapy run-off on the floor, but I figure Kakarot's going to do worse when he gets out of there. Suddenly, he's wailing, and I glance over at him. Nope, he's fine, just washing his hair and howling in a high falsetto.

"_And, I don't wanna fall in love.  
No, I don't wanna fall in love...  
With you._"

I _have_ to get out of here if he's going to keep singing. Grabbing a towel, I charge out of the bathroom, shutting the door swiftly behind me. Seems both my brother and I share a love of music, if not the talent for it. Oddly enough, it dissolves my earlier tension some, and I find myself laughing as I pull on a fresh sleeveless t-shirt and jeans. By the time he's done in the shower, I'm relaxing back on the bed, holding the dragonball radar.

"Oh, you found it," Kakarot comments when he comes out, a towel wrapped snugly around his waist.

"Yeah, how does it work?"

"I'll show you." He sits on the edge of my bed, reaching over to take the bulky disk from me. "See, you press this button on the top," he demonstrates, making the little green screen light up, "And the little arrow shows you in what direction the nearest dragonball is. You can move the screen around with this button," he adds, showing me something set into the rim.

"Let me see." I move forward, to get a better look at the glowing machine, leaning my head in close to Kakarot's. He shows me, making the perspective swoop and sway until it comes across a little dot.

"See, that's one of the dragonballs, right there. It's maybe a hundred miles away." I nod, glancing up at him.

"Pretty straightforward little gadget," I remark, and my brother smiles a little sheepishly at me.

"Yeah, I'm not so good with tech stuff. Bulma likes to keep it simple for me."

"Huh." I take the radar from him, and he moves away to dress while I try manipulating the screen. I'm not quite sure I've got the scale on it down yet, but it looks like most of the dragonballs are quite a ways away. "This thing isn't all that specific, is it?"

"Nope." Kakarot's voice is muffled by the shirt currently over his head. His head pops free through the neck, letting his hair poke wildly everywhere. Even wet, it's still barely tamable. "That's why it can take awhile sometimes. It's easy enough to get to the general location, but then you really just have to look for it." I nod, tossing the radar back to him. He catches it neatly, and sets it on the nightstand. "Ready to go?" he asks, and I answer him by standing. Hmm, a barbecue. On the bad side, two unavailable and extremely sexy males parading around in summer clothing. On the good side, lots of food, mostly meat, and some of my family. Also, two extremely sexy males parading around in summer clothing. Life could be worse. But not more confusing.


	14. Thirteen

Kakarot lifts his head, sniffing the air hungrily. "Wow, something smells good," he announces, standing from his position straddling the bench of the picnic table, peering over his shoulder.

"Yeah, Vegeta just put the hot dogs on," Gohan answers, leaning back against the table where I perch, and Kakarot spreads his grin eagerly over his face, sitting back down slowly.

"I'm glad you decided to stick around, Gohan," Kakarot addresses his son, and the younger man glances down briefly, a slight flush dusting his cheeks. It's strange, I never know what's going to inspire modesty in him and what he'll take in stride.

"Well, like I said, Dad, I thought you might want the moral support." He looks up at me. "I'm glad you're around, though, Raditz. You're taking good care of Dad, right?"

I open my mouth to answer, but my brother interrupts me. "Oh, he's been great! I would have been lost without you, big brother." He reaches over and playfully tweaks the tip of my tail, sending a rushes of electric sensation through my body, stiffening my spine and making me hiss through my teeth. He lets out a startled _oh!_ and apologizes immediately. "Oops, sorry! I forgot, that really hurts, doesn't it?"

"Not exactly," I answer, slipping my tail back out of reach, letting it rest on the bed of my hair pooled on the warm wood of the picnic table.

"Huh? It always used to hurt whenever anyone grabbed my tail, when I was a kid…" he trails off curiously, and I wonder, Am I going to have to teach the Saiyan facts of life to my little brother at his age? Gods, I hope not.

"You never had your tail as an adult, right?" I ask cautiously, and he shakes his head in negation. Now Gohan's turned around, resting his elbow on the table and listening with interest. Shit. "Well, it's a bit different when-"

"Oh, my!" A sultry female voice interrupts me, and all three of us swivel our heads to Bulma, standing there in a pair of tight cut-offs and a bikini top. She's grinning wickedly. "What a lovely matched set. Do you three come with gift wrap?"

I scowl at her, Gohan stares fixedly at the ground, blushing furiously, and Kakarot just stares. Please don't answer her, please don't answer her…

"Uh, I don't think so, Bulma. Why would we?" I sink my head into my hands in abject humiliation. How did my brother ever manage to have not one, but two children? I guess life's full of little mysteries. The woman's tinkling laugh simmers suggestively in the still air, heated by the Indian summer.

"Oh, Goku, you're such a doll," she purrs, and ruffles his hair affectionately before sauntering off to bother someone else. My brother looks up at me, confusion widening his eyes and twisting his mouth prettily. I shrug down at him.

"Don't ask me, Kakarot. She's not _my _woman." 

Kakarot laughs, a bit nervously, and Gohan turns the conversation back to the previous topic. "So you're going to have to tell us more about the tail thing, Raditz. Since I suppose we're all getting them back now." He seems somewhat amused by the idea, but considering the envious way he looks at mine whenever I let it loose, I figure he must be more than a little happy, as well.

"Well," I begin, trying to think how I would explain this to a child of mine. Then I have to rethink…these aren't children, but grown men with their own kids. "Well, as you both probably noticed when you were kids, any sort of rough handling of the tail is pretty painful. In fact, parents often use that as a way to punish or control Saiyan children…just grab them by the tail, and they aren't going anywhere." I smile to myself, thinking of the times when Father hauled me around by my tail, screaming bloody murder, whenever I got into somewhere I wasn't supposed to be.

"But did you two ever have someone stroke your tail softly?" Gohan shakes his head, and Kakarot raises his eyes to the sky, indicating he's thinking.

"Hm, not that I remember."

"Well, as a child, it feels fairly nice to have someone do that. Soothing…like someone rubbing your back." Kakarot smiles at me with that comparison, almost shyly, and I can't help but return the expression, touching him lightly on the shoulder before continuing. "Saiyan parents use that as well, to quiet crying infants or calm down tantrumming children. But as you go through adolescence, things change." I glance down again at my brother. "I know Gohan lost his tail in childhood, but when did yours go?"

He shrugs. "I was still a kid, if that's what you're asking. No tail during puberty."

I nod. "Things start to change for most Saiyan children about ten years old or so…though I've heard of it as early as seven and as late as fifteen. First, you start having these occasional shooting pains through your tail and spine. They come pretty randomly, and some people have far more than others…I don't know what determines the number or severity. After that is a period of time when your tail is highly sensitized…any little touch is somewhat shocking. Not necessarily painful, but uncomfortable…like when you hit your funny bone." Gohan winces in sympathy at the thought of that, but Kakarot just looks intrigued, tilting his head to the side as he listens like an overgrown dog. Honestly, it's kind of endearing.

"That lasts a month or so, and then things go back to normal…well, normal for an adult Saiyan. The tail is still sensitive to pain with rough touches, like grabbing or squeezing too hard. But for softer touches…well, it fells very nice. In a sexual way, if you catch my drift."

"Oh!" Gohan blinks, sitting up straighter. "Like an extra erogenous zone."

I nod, grinning. "Exactly!" My own tail sways slowly behind me now, echoing my pleasure at Gohan's quick absorption of the facts. "I imagine Videl is going to enjoy your new appendage," I add slyly, mentally crowing to myself as I elicit a deep blush from my nephew.

Kakarot is watching my tail intently, his brow furrowed in thought. "Then...when I grabbed your…" Gohan's eyes track to my weaving tail in response to his father's words, then both gain twin painful expressions as the implications hit. I clear my throat.

"Uh, yeah. But don't worry about it. I mean, you didn't know, right?" Saiyans are actually a bit more free with casual touching and sexuality between siblings than humans…but Kakarot and Gohan were raised human, and I can't expect the same cultural attitudes. I try to imagine that Kakarot was my father doing the same thing…yep, okay, that _is_ uncomfortable. I find myself clearing my throat again, searching for another topic.

"So, uh," my brother begins, "How is it that when you first came here, grabbing your tail really hurt, but it didn't seem to do anything to Nappa or Vegeta?"

I skate shakily onto the firmer ice of Saiyan training with a little mental sigh of relief. "Well, that has to do with conditioning more than anything else. Actually, most adolescents are a little oversensitive, just because they're not used to the new feelings yet. But as you get older, you get more accustomed. Then there's a whole other level for warriors. Both Nappa and Vegeta went through a rather rigorous training to be able to withstand that kind of pain. So it still hurt when someone grabbed their tails, they just were able to block it out. I didn't go through the same thing myself…" I'm actually a little embarrassed to talk about it. After all, I had it continually pounded into my head how undisciplined I was for not choosing to go through that little ordeal.

Kakarot is nodding slowly. "Ah, that makes sense." He seems about to say something else when Gohan turns his head to the side gate of the garden with a huge grin. My brother and I turn to look, and see Videl carefully balancing seven or eight boxes on one shoulder, two little girls orbiting her with a tinkling profusion of giggles.

"Videl's back with the drinks," he says, getting to his feet quickly and hurrying over to help his wife. Not that she can't carry four cases of pop and three of beer, but they are a bit hard to see around. The darker haired of the two girls latches on to her father's legs happily, while the one with the blue-green hair skips over to Vegeta, sweating at the grill. He glances down at her and lightly touches her cheek, but she's wearing an identical expression to her companion, who's been hoisted up onto her father's shoulder. Both look blissfully happy to be the object of their respective father's attention.

As Videl and Gohan start unloading the drinks into an enormous tub of ice, I saunter over to give them a hand. Pan has a different idea, however, and leaps from her father neatly into my arms, never doubting that I'll catch her. Of course I do, and swing her around playfully.

"Uncle Raditz!" she cries, and I can't help but warm to the sound of her voice. I don't think I'll ever have my own children, but I'm happy to pretend for awhile with this little one. "Let's play rocket ship!" she suggests excitedly.

I glance over to Gohan, and he nods indulgently, while Videl shoots me a sly grin. I think she realizes how happy I am in the role of doting uncle, as does Gohan. I'm continually surprised at how quickly he trusted me with his only child; after all, when he first met me I was going to kill him. I felt some regret over it, felt it was a waste, but just the same, I was ready to put down a five and half year old child. Did being dead do something to me, soften me? Or was it this family?

"Okay, beansprout," I agree with my grand-niece, going to one knee and placing her on the ground, my hands snugged securely under her armpits. "But we need the countdown from Mission Control!"

She claps her hands, and begins counting slowly backwards. "Ten…nine…eight…seven…um, six…five…four…threetwoONE!" At _one_, I straighten, and fling her upwards as hard as I can, sending her shooting into the perfect blue sky. She climbs, higher and higher, and I hear Bulma gasp as I power up and go flying fast and hard up after Pan.

She reaches the peak of her arc at about a thousand feet, then gravity claims her, and she shrieks happily at the sensation of her stomach being left behind. I spiral around her on her descent, and she keeps letting out these cute little screams, her black hair fluttering as she hits terminal velocity. Down, down, down…until about thirty feet from the ground, I snatch her out of the air and slow our descent, bringing us to a gentle halt three inches above the grass. She clings to my neck, her eyes streaming tears from the rush of air, but her gap-toothed smile stretches widely.

I set her down gently, and she laughs, running a few circles around me before spotting Kakarot. "Granpa, Granpa! Did you see me? I was flyin'!" She takes off in his direction, and he scoops her up, listening patiently to her childish ramblings.

"I swear, that girl has the attention span of a gnat," Videl comments to me fondly, and I turn to her.

"Well, that's the way kids her age are, right?" I ask, though not from any personal experience. I grab a beer from the now filled ice tub, twisting the top off and taking several long swigs, grateful to the cool rush of liquid down my throat. As I wipe my mouth, I catch two sets of eyes: Vegeta is looking at me with a thoughtful expression, his dark eyes seemingly sizing me up. His daughter is doing the same thing, her small face as solemn as her father's. She looks a bit older than Pan, but nowhere near old enough to have such a serious expression. It seems Trunks and his sister have less in common than one might assume. I watch curiously as she slowly walks over to Kakarot and Pan, then says something, prompting my brother to put down his granddaughter and let the two little girls begin whispering to each other.

Shaking my head, I wander back over to the picnic table, until I hear from behind me, "Trunks! There you are! Can you put out the potato salad and the chips? I think your father's almost done with the hot dogs."

I don't really want to turn my head…no, that's a complete lie, I want to turn my head, stare, howl, and drool. Gods, I've only just managed to get in the habit of not staring lustfully after Vegeta, broad back so nicely defined in black cotton again. The conversation with my family had been a grateful respite from fighting my raging appetites. I feign a casual attitude as I perch on the picnic table again, scanning the garden seemingly at random.

Trunks is still wearing those loose cotton pants, complimented by a simple white tank top. A _tight_ white tank top, outlining the angular lines of his chest. His back is to me, thank the Gods, and I can see some sort of doubled leather thong around his neck, like a necklace, but tighter. He straightens, and scratches briefly at his stomach, pushing his shirt up a bit. Those black pants are slung low on his hips, and the muscles of his back slide oilily into that raven cloth in such an intoxicating manner…things can't get any worse.

Oh, I'm so wrong. Because he's turned around, responding to something his little sister has said, something I can't hear with the way the blood is pounding in my ears. And I can see the aching line of his hipbones, diving into his waistband. Oh gods. Ohhh….

"Raditz?" I have the feeling this is not the first time my brother has said my name. I turn towards him, and I'm sure my eyes are glazed over. Kakarot looks at me, somewhat puzzled, but has not, apparently, noticed what I was looking at, and I thank all the gods of this Earth for that little detail gone undiscovered.

"Yeah?" My voice sounds out of whack, even to me. Kakarot smiles suddenly, a knowing, sly sort of grin that seems out of place on his face. What does he think he just figured out?

"Food's ready," he says, silently refusing to enlighten me.

"Oh," I parry back with great wit, and he leaves me, trotting eagerly towards the card table being used to hold up prodigious amounts of food. Well, three full blood Saiyans and three demi-Saiyans will doubtless dent even that colossal offering. I trail behind my brother as usual, moving slowly to give myself time to perfect my friendly, slightly bored expression. I finish the beer in a few gulps, and wonder how I'm going to make it through the afternoon.


	15. Fourteen

Kakarot's laughter rings through our small bedroom, bouncing gleefully off the walls as he responds to the punchline of one of my better dirty jokes. He lays on his stomach on his bed, propping his head up with his palms. I love that open, joyful expression in his face, tinged just slightly with a sense that he's not _really_ supposed to laugh at that sort of thing. Must've learned it from Chichi, because he sure didn't get it from his lech of a teacher. I sit cross-legged on my bed, leaning forward to catch the cool breeze drifting in the window. It's still far too warm for early October, or so Gohan says.

"Hey, Raditz?" Kakarot asks suddenly, cutting through the companionable silence that had settled in the room.

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember me as a baby? Our family?"

"Well, yeah, of course I do."

"What was I like?"

"Hmmm, kinda whiny, I guess. You cried a lot. But pretty active. You were pretty slow to warm to anybody but me and our mother. In fact, I think you hated Father. It was kinda funny." I laugh, thinking of an incident shortly before my brother was sent away. "One time, Father had one of his cronies over, and he wanted to introduce his sons. So he had me bring you in, and he told me to give you to him. So I tried to, but you started crying the way you always did…these irritating little high-pitched noises. Father was not amused, and he sort of grabbed you…and you!" I snicker again, leaning back mirthfully.

"You just bit him! Must've been really hard, or at least surprising, because he yelled, too, and then you jumped back to me, grabbing onto my neck. I was sure Father was going to beat me to get you off, and then you started banging your little fists into the back of my head, so I took off running, and our father was chasing after us, and I ended up trying to hide in Mother's closet. I got in _so_ much trouble that night." I grin fondly at my little brother, and he smiles serenely back at me.

"You took care of me a lot."

"I guess so." It's funny how I keep redefining myself around my brother; look at my own behavior in ways I never thought of before.

"Raditz, what were you like?"

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Gods, Kakarot, I don't know…just a kid, I guess. I wasn't anything really remarkable. I had a few friends, like most kids, but not very many. Father wanted me to train too often for that. I guess I was kinda quiet when I was younger, too. Not like you." I shrug. "Not like I am now, either, I guess."

"Oh."

"Why all the interest?"

"I don't know…I guess it's just that we've never really talked much before. You've been here, what, three months now? We just never seem to get around to it."

I think back, and realize it's true. But then, it's taken recent events for me to even think of Kakarot as my brother. "Yeah, I guess you're right." I study him carefully, leaning my head forward to watch him under a curtain of hair, so he doesn't think I'm staring. The light from the little bedside lamp illuminates that porcelain skin, lending him an unearthly glow. In some ways we're so different…but he has the same eyes as me, dark and sometimes a little confused, but also sometimes crystal clear. Like when he's fighting. Father's hair, great spikes of it, every which way. It would be my hair, too, if I hadn't grown it out. I've still got the spikes myself…mine just tend to sweep backwards. And no one in our family has my severe widow's peak. Who knows where that came from?

Same build, too, just on a smaller scale. His broad shoulders lead into brawny upper arms and bulky forearms, all hard angles, boxy, not like Vegeta and his son, both of whom curve more gracefully. Big hands, thick fingers, one tapping lightly against his cheek as my brother stares out the window into the night. Long legs…Kakarot's and mine both thicker than his sons', though Gohan is built more like his father, has some of our bulk. Big feet, crossed at the ankles, his calves perpendicular to his thighs flat on the bed. It should be a girlish position, but on Kakarot it just looks relaxed.

I wonder how alike we are mentally? Does he get as lost as I do with other people? Does he like the simple, easy conversations, like now? Does he yearn for someone to be next to him, to share everything with him the way I do? The way Chichi doesn't? Or does he prefer to be alone? No, I can't see my brother ever alone by choice. He has so many friends…but then, how many does he really open up to? What goes on inside his head? Sometimes he seems so transparent…other times he's as much of an enigma to me as Vegeta.

A thought suddenly strikes me as I sit there, staring at my little brother, the room silent but for the low sound of two male Saiyans' breathing and the gentle background of trees sighing in the breeze. In all my desperate longings for a romantic partner, have I overlooked something? Someone? Here my brother sits before me, the easy silence between us blessedly free of tension, our occasional words drifting lazily through the air with no thought of censure. Has it been my sibling that's been missing from my life, my little brother that was ripped away from me before I was old enough to fight for him?

"Raditz? Why are you staring at me?" Kakarot's voice is casual, mildly curious.

"I was just thinking about you," I answer, never once thinking to amend the thoughts that spill from my lips with him.

"What about me?" He turns those inky eyes back to me, then smiles. "I can't see your face. Move your hair."

I comply, pushing my fingers through the thick locks and trying to gather it at the nape of neck. "Better?"

"Mmmhmm. Now answer the question."

It's strange, I feel a sense of surreality drift through me, making everything seem dreamy. Not distant, not foggy, in fact it seems as though every detail is not only sharp, clear, but also brilliant. The sable of my brother's hair a sea of night; the pale blue of his jeans a symphony of summer sky; the cream of the sheets a rich delicacy I can almost taste on the tip of my tongue. "I was thinking how alike we are. And how different. And how I'm not sure how I missed you there in front of me this last few months."

He pillows his crossed arms under his head, smoothing out the arch of his back to form a straight line as he leans his chin down, still looking at me. "What do you mean?"

I don't know what I mean. "I mean, that we…well, that we work so well together? But that's not quite right. We complement each other? It's just that it's easy to be around you, even though we didn't grow up together. Do you know what I mean?"

He nods slowly. "Mmhm." He twists on the bed, flipping over onto his back and letting his head fall down the side so he can continue to watch me.

"Now why are you staring at me?" I ask in a lightly teasing tone, smiling softly.

"Because I like looking at you." He settles his hands at his stomach. "You look a little bit like Vegeta, but you look like me, too. I missed having a brother growing up. I'm glad I have one now."

"Me, too."

"So what were you coming to talk to me about?"

"What?" I can't follow.

"Last night…well, maybe you weren't coming to talk to me. When you came home, you looked a bit upset." Big understatement, I probably looked furious.

"Oh, that. Well, it's kind of a long story." Not one that I feel like telling to anyone. "Piccolo sort of came on to me." Hey, why did _that_ slip out? Wasn't I not going to say anything?

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was strange. He said he wanted to know what sex was like…you know, from a Saiyan perspective, since I guess Nameks don't have sex." My mouth runs blissfully on, ignoring my mind which is trying to become alarmed. It can't quite make it though, as my eyes continually catch on little details. The way Kakarot's mouth moves when he's talking. The little moth that sits motionless on the nightstand beneath the lamp. I know it's not dead, if I were to flick my finger at it, it would clumsily climb into the air again.

"So did you?"

"What, did we have sex?"

"Mmhm." A pale shade of pink, his lips, slightly roughened by the sun, a delicate layer of dryer flesh perching on the moist softness beneath.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I told him no."

"Why?"

"I felt like he was using me. Also, I don't know if he actually can, and it would be awfully disappointing to get partway through and then be stuck."

"But couldn't he…" I watch my brother search for the words of this unfamiliar language. Clearly, he's rarely, if ever, talked about such things. Probably not even considered them between two men, if Goten's attitude is any indicator. "You know, do something for you even if he can't…you know, with his mouth?"

"I suppose so. I didn't think of it. But still…it's not the same if the person you're playing with isn't getting anything out of it."

"Playing with." His eyes are far away, dreamy, echoing mine, I think.

"Screwing, fucking, making love to, whatever."

"What is it with Piccolo?"

"I don't know. I haven't done anything with Piccolo. It's confusing to me. I don't understand why he wanted to…" I shake my head, letting my hair fall into my face again as I lower my eyes to my fingers playing idly with the seam in my jeans. I feel like a teenager again, having some friend stay over a night and exchanging secrets. Except it's pretty one-sided at this point. "I'm not good at understanding people, the way they…interact, with me."

"What is it with Vegeta?"

"Huh?"

I feel strong fingers brushing at my hair, moving it languidly out of my face, and I raise my eyes to see my brother arching his back to reach me. I automatically push my hair out of my face again, and he smiles lazily.

"Would it be playing, fucking, screwing, or making love, with Vegeta?"

"I guess that would depend on him." My voice is barely a whisper. "How did you know?"

"Oh, it was something Gohan said earlier. He's said before…several times, since he got old enough to stop being embarrassed when he talks about his personal life with me, that all us Sons have a Vegeta phase. That's what he calls it, a Vegeta phase." His laugh is low, intimate. This is the secret, shared between brothers. "He went through his when he was sixteen or so, before the whole thing with Buu. Had a crazy crush on the man, wanted desperately to have sex with him…Gohan called it fucking, so I'm guessing it was a lust thing more than anything else. Goten had his a little younger, at thirteen or fourteen, Gohan estimates. Goten never told me about it, but from what his brother says, it was more of a moony, romantic thing."

"That doesn't answer my question."

His eyes pull back from the window they were drifting out of as he spoke, back to me, and he smiles again, this time with a bit more mischief. "Patience, big brother, I'm getting to that. Anyway, today, when he was leaving, he said, 'I think Raditz is going through his Vegeta phase.' Gohan's really good at reading people. Is he right?"

I nod wordlessly.

"I thought so. I watched you, after he said that. You watch him a lot, Vegeta. Of course, you stare at Trunks a lot, too, but it's different. I can't figure out how, but it is. Were you two…did you used to be together?"

Again, I nod.

"Hmm, that makes things make a lot more sense now." He's just looking up at me now, and I'm gazing back, but there's still no tension, just two dark pairs of eyes exchanging wordless information, the language of the heart.

"Kakarot, you said Gohan said all the Sons went through a Vegeta phase. What was yours?"

He lets out a soft exhale from between half parted lips. "He wouldn't take me."

I'm surprised at his words…had my brother…? "Did you ask him about it?"

"Yeah. I felt so stupid afterwards. I told him how I felt, and he told me…well, he said he wouldn't take being second place. I wasn't ready to leave Chichi. I should have known better. But I guess that's part of the Vegeta phase, too, being carried away with him. Acting…rashly."

My mind takes hold of this new information, twisting and turning it over slowly, like wet clothes on a clothesline being tossed in the summer breeze. "But now you've left Chichi."

"Mmhm."

"Are you…are you going to talk to Vegeta again?"

"I don't know."

The silence hangs heavily between us, a comforting weight that gives gravity to my thoughts. I uncross my legs, stretch out my long body and flop it across my bed as Kakarot had done earlier, letting my legs dangle off one side, pillowing my head on my arms. The comforter feels warm, solid against my stomach. My face hangs about a foot and a half from my brother's. His sable lashes…so long, shuttering his eyes as he blinks slowly.

"Oh," I say, wondering what exactly I'm conveying with that little syllable.

"Do you want me to?" he asks me curiously, resting his hands on his chest. Do I? No! Yes…I don't know.

"I want you to be happy, little brother." And as ridiculously sentimental as it is, it's true. His upside down smile returns to me, and I find myself reaching out that tiny distance, brushing the backs of my fingers across his cheek. Rough. He leans into my hand, fluttering his eyes closed, and I watch the flicker of dark lashes along the line of his cheek. So beautifully familiar.

I let my hand drop with a slow sigh, and Kakarot allows his eyes to fall open again. "We should probably try to get some sleep, since we want to make an early start tomorrow."

I nod my agreement, though I don't really feel tired. Kakarot pulls himself off the bed, and stretches, arching his back like a bow, hands clasped high above his head. Then he strips quickly out of his clothes, and slides under the covers. The entire time I remain splayed across my bed, resting my chin on the backs of my hands. He reaches over and flicks off the lamp.

"G'night, Raditz."

"Night, Kakarot."


	16. Fifteen

Of course I end up roaming the house only an hour later. An hour spent dutifully trying to find sleep, and failing miserably. But I've left the map behind, and I can't find my way to the front door to go outside. I should have just jumped out the window in the first place, but then, I'm not the master at planning ahead. I'm not the master at anything, it feels like. Vegeta, Vegeta…I want to find him, grab him, fuck him stupid and make him forget my brother. Or do I? Everything that seemed so straightforward in Kakarot's presence has become a tangled, fucked-up mess again; par for the course with me.

I trail one hand along the night-cooled wall, wishing it could put out the fire I feel burning through my fingers. It's not the rut, I'm not due for that yet. I just feel restless, caged…it's all the mixed signals these damn males are giving off! Gods…my free hand clenches at my side, digging pretty little crimson crescents into my palm, the pain only heightening my awareness of myself, the beast barely held at bay behind my eyes.

A door, a door, why doesn't a house this fucking enormous have a goddamned door! I suppose plenty of these rooms hold windows, but I don't know which ones have people behind them. Ki signatures are difficult to detect in sleep, and I haven't had enough practice to manage it yet. Almost growling in frustration, I drop into a low crouch, leaning over to sniff along the bottom of the door, trying to figure out if the room is empty or occupied.

"What are you doing?"

The unnatural light of the florescent bulbs lends his hair an almost greeny tinge, his golden skin a sallow glow. I snarl silently at him as I stand, my tail dancing warning behind me. He just continues to stare curiously at me, arms crossed over that well-muscled chest. Tonight his eyes are pale, pale, pale, like the moon on the water.

"How do you get out of this damn place?" I answer his question with one of my own, and the low pitch of my voice causes him to smile as he steps closer. I scent the air, his secret musk teasing my senses.

"Do you really want to go so bad?" His voice is young, playful. He has no idea what he's getting into.

"Are you offering me an alternative?" I feel myself rising to the balls of my feet, leaning slightly forward, again resting my hand of the wall next to my head.

"Maybe." He turns, walks down the hallway a few paces, opens one of the doors, slips inside. I follow, and see it's one of the countless guest rooms…unless someone who lives here truly has no personality. The anonymity of the room delights me for some reason. He's turned to face me again, though he gestures behind him to a small window.

"If that's what you want," he says in a sultry tone, licking his lips slowly. I need no further invitation, not tonight. Suddenly, I'm shoving him up against the wall with no space in between our bodies, one hand pressed into his shoulder, the other fisting in his hair as I stare down intently into his face. His azure eyes have gone wide with surprise, and I rumble a growl as I claim his lips forcefully, pressing him back hard enough to collapse the plaster in the wall with a little_ poof!_ of white dust.

Oh! Sweet warmth, blissful heat to plunge my tongue into, taste, ravage viciously as I tilt his head back, using his hair as the handle. I moan into that perfect furnace of desire, shoving my thigh between his legs as I feel him respond under me, twisting this way and that, arms sliding around my waist, under my shirt, nails raking the small of my back. I pull back from that furious kiss, only to dip in again and devour his neck.

"Raditz…slow down…" His voice is shaky, uncertain, which only causes me to blaze more fiercely. When did I ever think he was in control? No, the devil child is mine to take, and I prove the point with my teeth at his throat, biting hard, though not enough to break the skin, only to bruise in delicious hues of blue and violet. He lets out a shocked gasp into my ear, coupled with a mewling whimper of pain, but I can feel his arousal against my thigh, trapped in black silk.

"You thought…you would _tease_ me…little boy?" I growl into his throat, moving down to run a rough tongue over the planes of his chest, flavored lightly with the exotic spice of his sweat.

"I...oh, Dende…" he trails off into incoherence as I turn my attention to one raised nub of nipple, surrounded by a deeper flush of rose and gold, darker than his skin. I rasp my tongue over it hungrily, one arm raised above my head to keep his shoved up against the wall, as I sink to my knees. The other I slide down his spine to his waist, curling around his back to lever his hips out, away from the wall.

"There's no one here to help you now," I mutter, almost angrily, up at him. I make sure the flesh is thoroughly reddened, almost raw, before I move to the other nipple. He's still moving under my hands, under my tongue, his back arching and relaxing, hips twisting back and forth, like he can't possibly keep still. The little moans and gasps coming out of his throat are gratifying, but not enough. I feel too urgent, too pent up…I have no patience for subtleties, for much more of this play.

I hook my fingers into the waistband of his pyjama bottoms as I trail my tongue lower, taking in the soft texture of the skin of his stomach, the light dusting of hair, the flowing lines of his perfect hipbones. Without warning, I yank the pants down, catching roughly on his straining erection, causing it to dip then spring back, smacking against his stomach with wonderfully meaty thud. I look up at him again, see him staring down at me with a mixture of fear, want, and awe. I roll that look in his eyes over my tongue, taste it as a sweetsharp honey that fires my palate for more.

I watch his head fall back against the wall with a sharp smack of sound as I dip to engulf the head of his sex into my impatient mouth, sucking at it greedily. The salty taste of pre-come, and it's so searingly hot, and silky soft, fitting perfectly in my mouth. I twirl my tongue over the head of it, memorizing the texture, the taste, as he groans loudly above me. Good…this shouldn't take long, and I have my own needs to take care of. But for now, I'm just enjoying the fantastic feeling of a cock in my mouth, that unique sensation that I've been without for nearly a quarter of century.

I work my mouth down over the shaft, getting used to being unable to breathe momentarily. There's a small sliver of gratification that I don't choke, in fact take the thick length smoothly, but mostly my mind is absorbed with the minutiae of the act: the balmy scent of aroused adolescent boy caught in the hair that brushes my nose, the pleading moans that drift down to my ears, the feel of his fingers at my scalp as he threads them through my hair helplessly, the tightening and loosening of the thigh muscles beneath my hand, the rush of saliva that cascades into my mouth at the memory of this act. 

As I work up a rhythm, his little wordless beggings turn into full throated groans, flavored with the hint of a scream. Have to do something about that. I slide one hand up his buttocks to the small of his back, feeling for that tell-tale ridge. His is even less noticeable that my brother's, only a small ring of skin that feels shiny smooth. I press in with my thumb, massaging the spot insistently, and I hear what I've been waiting for, the raising of his young voice into a full yell.

"Raditz! Oh…my….Dende…I…ah!" His hips are jerking uncontrollably now, and I have to move carefully to avoid biting down on him. I can feel my own erection throbbing painfully against my hip, imploring me to plunge it into this sweet body in front of me, but instead I swallow convulsively as he lets loose in my mouth, holding his hips still with some effort, until he falls back, panting against the wall.

I rise to my feet, placing my hands on either side of his head, once again looking down into that lovely, flushed face, lavender hair pasted sweatily to his forehead and cheeks. He looks up at me with half-lidded eyes, something sated and content there, but they flicker fully open as I press my arousal up against his leg with a demanding growl.

"Raditz, I-" I ignore him, leaning in until my nose is nearly touching his.

"Turn around," I order him, and he responds to the threat in my dark eyes.

"Wh-why?"

"Because I'm going to fuck you, little boy."

"But…Raditz, I've never…"

"Just _do_ it."

"I don't think I can." There's genuine fear in his eyes now, and I feel my temper rise as I bare my teeth at him, tail whipping around to secure itself at his waist.

"_Now._"

He shakes his head wordlessly, and I snarl at him loudly, engulfing his shoulders in my large hands, meaning the flip the kid over myself. The fear rises to a frantic panic, and he lashes out at me, shoving my away as hard as he can. Startled, I slam into the wall opposite him, and I hear the creak of the wood, ready to snap. Growling furiously now, I rush forward, but this time he kicks me in the chest, and I go flying onto my back, skidding into the bed painfully.

"You little shit!"

"I'm stronger than you, Raditz." His voice holds the fear in his eyes, but something else, too. I can smell it on him, the little bastard _wants_ me to fuck him, and he's more scared of that than he is of me. What did he think we were going to do, exchange a few kisses, then politely go our merry ways? "Don't follow me."

He's _leaving_? "You cowardly little fuck." I'm up in a crouch, tail lashing behind me. "So that's the way you play, huh? Get yours, then skip off to bed like a good little boy? Who'd you learn that from, your father?"

"What?" At the mention of Vegeta, his golden skin blanches, and he backs towards the door. "Look, Raditz, I don't know what-"

"SHUT UP!" I howl, sneering as I see his mouth snap shut with an audible clicking of teeth. I stand, moving to tower over him, staring down into his confused face. "Shut up, shut up, you all talk too fucking much!"

It's like something in him breaks. Breaks in a very bad way for me. I'd be shocked at how quickly the green bleeds into his eyes, the pale gold into his hair, but I'm too angry. Too pissed off to realize what kind of trouble I'm in. Suddenly he's snarling at me, and then plants the heels of his hands right in the middle of my chest and I'm slamming through the wall this time, almost faster than I can hear my ribs snap inward. He must have pierced a lung, because my harsh exhale is tinted with a fresh gout of blood.

"Don't touch me, Raditz," he murmurs, now standing over me. I never saw him move. The stiff spikes of blonde hair fall softly into gentle lavender, and the arrogance in his turquoise eyes suddenly fades into frightened ice blue. I try to raise up off the ground, but something inside me is shattered, and I turn my head weakly to the side, let blood-streaked saliva patter from my lips to the floor. One blow. That's all it took him, one blow to the chest.

I barely hear the muttered, "Oh, shit," as he flees the scene. Guess I should have kept my hands to myself after all.


	17. Sixteen

[Author's Note: You know, I never quite meant this to go the incest route, but it's starting to look that way…hrm.]

* * * * *

I must have lost consciousness, as I don't remember anything from Trunks fleeing to my brother taking my chin in his hand, saying my name over and over. "Raditz. Raditz, wake up! Can you hear me? Raditz!" Oh, Gods, I wished he hadn't done that…every single breath I take in burns horribly, my entire chest is tight with agony. I want to cough, and I brace myself…but the weak hacking is even more painful that I imagined it would be, and the muscles in my body tighten in sympathy.

"I'm…I'm awake, Kakarot. Stop yelling." I wonder if he can even hear me, I haven't the strength to raise my voice above a hoarse whisper. My entire mouth feels sticky, thick, with dried blood, mucus, and spit.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" Finally, I open my eyes, stare up into that face that is clotted with rage. I wish I could do something to direct that rage, but I'm not _that_ stupid. Last night-and it was last night, because I can see some weak sunlight filtering in a window, incongruously cheery-was a lesson in self control. Don't use it, get hurt. Pretty simple, even for me.

"I can't tell you." I think my brother might sense a lie, and I'm in too much pain to think of an effective one anyway.

"Vegeta? Was it him?"

I shake my head slowly, the nausea rising in me at the movement. I know I can't afford to vomit, I haven't the strength to turn myself to the side, and aspirating on my own bile is _not_ the way I would choose to go out. Kakarot narrows his eyes as he looks down at me, but he seems to accept this, and he shakes his head, as though freeing himself from distractions.

"We don't have time for questions," he mutters, running his thumb lightly over my lower lip, frowning at the crust of dried blood. "How long have you been lying here? No, never mind, right. Okay, I'm going to take you where we can get you some help."

"Kakarot," I rasp out, "I don't think I can move."

"You don't have to," he replies grimly, before lightly gripping my upper arm, and touching his free fore and middle fingers to his forehead. His eyelids close down in one blink…and suddenly we are no longer in a wrecked spare bedroom, but in the middle of a large room. My vision is blurry, I can make out little of the details, but the room is open to the air, and I can hear the wind singing by rapidly. Moreover, it's bright and sunny here. The tiled floor is cool on my back, and my brother lightly pats my shoulder.

"Hang on, okay? I won't be far." He stands, and moves out of my line of sight, hollering as he goes. "Korin? Korin! I need you!"

I lay my head back as I hear him hurrying down a flight of stairs, closing my eyes. I wonder how long it will take him to figure out who did this to me? After all, it's a fairly small group of people he has to pick from, unless he assumes some enemy from my past showed up, nearly killed me, then ran off, and for some reason I'm too embarrassed to tell him.

"Who the hell are you?" The voice that interrupts my thoughts is raspy, and slightly nasal. Is it worth the effort of actually opening my eyes to see who it is? Oh, might as well.

A short, heavyset man in a loose, brief robe stares down at me, frowning. His thick eyebrows hang rather menacingly above deep-set dark brown almond-shaped eyes, but the effect is rather ruined by the roundness of his face. He has got a sword, but I can't bring myself to feel threatened by him. Maybe it's the fact that he holds a chicken leg somewhat casually in his right hand. Maybe it's the bush of long black hair that reminds me of a twisted version of myself. I don't know, but the guy inspires a snorted chuckle more than anything else. Not that I can laugh right now, I think it'd break me in half.

"I'm Kakarot's brother," I manage to leak out, and he scowls even more furiously, if possible.

"Who the hell is Kakarot?"

"That's me, Yajirobe." My brother's voice is a welcome respite, and I watch the small man look up, surprise smoothing out his features, and looking so much more appropriate on that moon face.

"Goku? What are you-oh." He looks down at me again. "He needs a sensu bean, right?"

"Yeah, Korin's getting me one now." I can feel him back at my side, kneeling down, and I take the effort to turn my head his way.

"What?" I mouth at him, trying to raise my eyebrows in an expression of puzzlement, but failing.

"You'll see. It's too hard to explain." He brushes some of my hair carefully from my forehead, and then I hear more footsteps, these peculiarly soft, and accompanied by the tap of a cane.

"Here you are, Goku." This voice is older, much older, it sounds like. I just let my eyes drift closed, when I feel my brother's fingers at my lips again.

"Eat this." He slips something into my mouth, something small and hard. Ah, the old man must be some sort of healer, and this is medicine. Though how I'm going to keep it down, I have no idea. Still, I trust Kakarot, so I chew dutifully, crunching the pill…or was it a bean? Hadn't that fat guy said something about a bean? It does taste sort of vegetable-y, in a bland way. I swallow, wincing as the little hard bits scrape down my throat.

The oddest sensation of heat rushes out from the center of my body, shooting down my limbs and into my head, leaving me dizzy in its wake. It's such a nice feeling I almost don't notice when the pain leaves. But when I open my mouth to moan slightly, I realize it's not agonizing to use my vocal cords, and I stop in shock.

"Kakarot? What the hell?"

"Sit up, Raditz." My brother smiles radiantly down at me, so I do. Painlessly. I look down at my chest. No bruising. I run my fingers over the skin…no pain, just a faint tingle. I stare up uncomprehendingly at Kakarot, and he offers me a hand up, which I take, climbing to my feet.

"That was a sensu bean. They heal you, and even increase your strength." I feel amazing, fantastic. I flex my hands, clench them into fists, stare down at them, still speechless. "Korin grows them."

I look over my shoulder to see a large white cat. A really large white cat. With a cane. "Oh."

"Now maybe you can tell me who did this to you." I look back to my brother, and that simple smile is gone from his face, replaced with something more complex: worry, guilt, and something like fury. Instinctively I step close, place a hand on his shoulder, dip my head in to murmur at his ear.

"I can't, Kakarot. Please, trust me on this. Not now." I find myself pressing up against him, bending to rest my forehead briefly against his shoulder. His hands automatically go around my waist, and I sigh into his neck. I've missed having a brother.

"Raditz…"

"Please, Kakarot. Please." I feel weak, but at the same time…I won't be the instrument of strife in Prince Vegeta's family. Not now. And I don't want my brother to get involved in this.

"Okay. For now." I smile in gratitude, then realize he can't see it, so instead I lightly kiss the dip where his shoulder and neck joins, before pulling back. He's looking at me curiously, but says nothing. 

"We should go back, if we want to get that early start," I say lightly, giving him my smile now, and an eager flash brightens his dark eyes in return. I glance over at Yajirobe and Korin, both of whom are staring at us open-mouthed. As Kakarot waves his thanks to the cat, and touches his fingers to his forehead, I hear the human speak in a low tone to his companion.

"They're _brothers_?"

* * * * *

We're back in our room at Vegeta's place, Kakarot's bag packed and set on the bed, my own in the corner where I left it last night. "Do you still want to-" he begins, and I interrupt.

"Yeah, I do. I just want to get out of here for awhile. What time is it?"

"Late morning. Vegeta's probably been ready for hours."

I nod in agreement, and am about to pick up my bag when Kakarot touches my shoulder lightly. "Raditz? I need to ask you something."

"I told you, I don't-"

"No, not about that." He looks thoughtful, as though trying to find that right words, an unusual thing for my brother, so used to just blurting any old thing out. "It's about…well, why do you keep touching me?"

I frown, not understanding. "What do you mean? Of course, I touch you, you're my brother…"

"Yeah, but…well, you just kissed me back at Korin's place."

Oh, that human upbringing thing again. I keep forgetting about it. "Sorry, it's just a Saiyan thing, I guess. I'll stop if you want me to."

"It's not that. It's just a little strange. You don't touch anyone else like that." I read between the lines; I don't touch Gohan and Goten like that. "Neither does Vegeta."

"Vegeta is an only child." I sit down heavily on the bed, wondering how to explain this one. Maybe I should just hold some sort of class on Saiyan behavior for Kakarot's family, because this could become very tiresome. "Look, on Vegeta-sei, it's…it _was_ considered pretty normal for siblings, cousins, same generational relatives to…uh, be so physical. I guess it's an instinctual thing, though, because I wasn't raised with you, and it still seems pretty natural for me to do that." I raise my eyebrows at him as he considers that. "You didn't seem to mind…"

"I don't. I'm just not used to it." He shrugs expansively. "I guess I have a lot to learn."

"Vegeta didn't teach you any of this stuff?

"No…I never really asked about it, either, though. I mean, he mostly just acts like a human, so it never really occurred to me." I blink…is Vegeta modifying his behavior for these humans? I guess so. "So, are we supposed to have sex or something?"

I look up at him, startled. "Uh…well, not normally. I mean…" I'm a little hazier on this, as I didn't grow up with a sibling, and it's not really something that's talked about. I couldn't very well ask my friends, 'Hey, did you screw your sister last night?' "I'm actually not sure. It probably wouldn't be considered that off, but then I don't think it was a regular occurrence, either. Why?"

"Just curious." His open expression gives truth to his statement, but still, it gets me thinking: Do I want to have sex with my brother? I can come to no conclusive answer as he scoops up his bag from the bed. "Ready?"

I nod, grabbing my own bag, and following him out the door.


	18. Seventeen

I'm not sure what it is that wakes me…all I know, for a few seconds at least, is that I'm terribly disappointed to be no longer dreaming. It was a really great dream, one of those ones where I'm in the middle of this huge fight with everybody I've ever known in my life...and I'm kicking some serious ass. I love that dream. So it's with some reluctance that I gradually become aware of my surroundings.

I can feel a faint residual warmth from the dying fire, the dull glow of the embers pricking at my eyelids. We've been out in these woods for three days now, looking for the five-star dragonball. The tracker says it's in the area somewhere, but we can't _see_ it. And Kakarot won't let me or Vegeta just vaporize everything for a half a square mile or so, so we're forced to do stupid things like dig holes and swim around the bottom of the one swampy, brackish bit of 'water' here. I am personally shocked that Vegeta is putting up with this…he may have changed some, but he hasn't become _that_ patient.

On the other hand, he may just be sticking around to humor Kakarot. That seems to be the more likely answer…the electricity crackling between the two of them has been considerable. And considerably antagonizing to me…after a week and a half away from 'home', I have gotten at least one thing sorted out. I'm still very much in love with Vegeta. I'm fairly sure they're fucking by now…they keep sneaking away from camp when they think I'm not paying attention, and Kakarot has been coming back _giggly_. It's maddening, and I find my temper getting shorter and shorter, a dangerous situation. Not for them, of course, but for me. I'm having increasing difficulty in stopping myself from either jumping on Vegeta, or challenging my brother to some sort of ridiculous duel. I've been hanging around these humans far too long…

Finally I open my eyes, staring up at the brilliantly star studded sky. So not only have I been awoken from a really brutal dream, I now am so obsessed with a relationship no longer available to me that I'm going to sit here and brood, instead of returning to said dream. I sigh softly, breath floating invisibly away in the night air. Then I hear it, the noises that probably woke me. A slight rustle, and someone's voice, barely on the edge of my hearing. I turn my head slowly, and witness something both rage-inducing and impossibly arousing.

There's a small grouping of rocks near our campsite, maybe six paces or so from the fire. I can see Vegeta draped across one of them, on his back. His head hangs down the side facing me, and I can see the graceful curve of his neck and chest, the tops of his thighs barely visible before disappearing over the other side of the rock. His hair barely brushes the ground, and his eyes are closed, the lashes fluttering gently along the high arch of his cheekbones. His mouth hangs open, and the amber flicker of the campfire paints his skin a glowing gold, gleaming with sweat and lust.

On the other side of the rock, between his legs, bobs a familiar chaos of ragged black hair. My brother, working diligently on our prince, his large hands trailing patterns of desire over Vegeta's skin, his tongue lapping busily at a half concealed erection. He is the source of the rustling, and our prince the origin of the low moans. I stare at them in shock, horror…and lust.

It's no surprise I'm instantly hard at the sight, and I bite down on my tongue to stop from making noise, slitting my eyes as I watch them. Vegeta arches his back a little more, his delicate tongue coming out to slither over his lips, taste the air. My brother slides one hand down to grip his hip, kneading the flesh there into rosy perfection. Almost unconsciously, I slide my hand under my bedroll, down my abdomen, down the line of my hip. I turn my body towards them slightly, bunching the blankets a bit so that the motion of my hand is hidden by the heaped cloth and leaving the back of my thighs open to the air.

Kakarot moves his hand again, this time pressing along the inner line of Vegeta's thigh, pushing his legs farther apart in a truly wanton sprawl. Gods, but my prince's face is beautiful as he writhes under his lover, rhapsody flickering across his harsh features. I slide my fingers experimentally along the length of my own aching erection, suppressing the slight shiver that trickles through me at the sharp pleasure. But I cannot draw this out…not with the chance of one or the other looking up at any moment. So I take a firm grip, setting my teeth to my lower lip to stifle any noises I might make.

Gods, Kakarot's head is dipping lower, and he's doing something that makes Vegeta squirm, his hips sliding on the rough granite. I breathe heavily through my nose as I twist my broad palm over the head of my cock, bright flashes of pleasure rewarding me. I quickly lick the tips of my finger before returning my hand to work, watching sable spikes quiver rhythmically over the shuddering form of my prince. Now I can hear him, the soft, wet noises of mouth and tongue, and somehow this is almost more than I can stand…I move my hand roughly over my own erection, no longer caring to draw this out, only to relieve myself of this knife-edge walk between agony and ecstasy.

It's impossible not to fall into my brother's rhythm, and I stroke myself to their beat, breath becoming harder and harder to control, ragged pants barely restrained by my bared teeth. As I see the powerful muscles of my prince's shoulders begin to clench, I squeeze down on my cock, my orgasm as painful as it is pleasurable. And at the very moment of least control, the tightening of all my muscles, I see my prince's eyes fly open. Inky depths stare back at me wordlessly as I watch Vegeta's completion ripple through his body in lazy waves, darkening his face in a dusky flush.

I instantly slit my eyes again and hold completely still. It's hard, so _hard_, but I feign sleep, hoping to all the spirits of this wretched planet that he hasn't noticed I'm awake. He's still staring at me, but I don't _see_ the light of recognition in his eyes, just drowsy lust…but then they flick upwards a bit. Over my shoulder, to…what?

Oh Gods. Betrayed again by my own body, I can feel my tail snapping lustfully above me like a warrior's pennant in the breeze. I can barely school it into obedience when Vegeta's eyes trail down to my face again…and suddenly his teeth are bared in a deliciously wicked smile, a knowing smirk that is one hundred percent pure arrogance. Gorgeous.

Kakarot emerges from between Vegeta's legs, licking his lips languidly, and looking down at our prince. He doesn't look my direction at all, and I turn over, away from the two of them and squeeze my eyes tightly shut, my tail wrapped consolingly around my waist. //What do you want from me, Vegeta?//

* * * * *

The little stream that feeds into the brackish pond near our campsite is a poor substitute for the waterfalls near Kakarot's house. But it'll do in a pinch, especially since I've woken up sticky, annoyed, and with what feels like thirty Nameks jumping on my head. Kakarot's snoring over by the rocks, and Vegeta's nowhere in sight. I sigh and pull on a pair of shorts before padding the 200 feet or so over to the stream, and flop down on the grassy bank, sticking my bare feet in the chill water.

If I were standing in the stream, it would come to about halfway up my calves. It's a tiny little thing, but the cold water feels nice trickling through my toes, and I lean forward to splash some across my chest and stomach, cleaning off the residue from last night's…_activities_…from my skin. My tail curls out from behind me to dip into the refreshing water as well, and I shake it, spraying little droplets everywhere. Even the memory of my brother and the love of my life getting it on can't deter the small smile that sneaks onto my face.

I let out a huge sigh and flop back onto the bank, cushioning my head on my forearms, staring up at the starkly blue sky. Maybe today we'll find that five-star dragonball. I don't hold out a lot of hope, but these days I don't hold out a lot of hope for anything. I close my eyes and let the sun warm my face, trying not to think, about _anything_. Thinking only gets me in trouble, remembering only brings me a whole lot of pain. So instead I try to just let my mind drift, like the clouds overhead, listen to the almost imperceptible hum of insects in the grass, the soft whisper of wind in the trees.

A shadow falls over my face, and I open my eyes in irritation at the interruption. And find myself looking straight up at my prince, who has somehow managed to sneak his way over here, and now stands above me, smirking. A wicked, thoroughly arousing smirk. I groan, and close my eyes again.

"What do you _want_, Vegeta?"

"Hmm," his voice floats down to me, amused. "Just wanted to say good morning. _Raditz_."

"Well, you've said it. Now go away." I keep my eyes tightly closed, laying one arm over them in exasperation.

"I don't believe I will," Vegeta replies, and I hear him settle himself next to me, then idle splashing from the stream. I do my best to ignore him, but now, over the earthy tang of the grass, I can smell his sweat, lying tantalizingly on his skin, soaked up by the form fitting lycra of his spandex shorts and soft cotton of his loose tank top. I groan again.

"Oh, just please _go away_," I moan, but now he's the one ignoring me. Damn him. Impatient, irritated, with myself more than him, I open my eyes again, and pull myself to my feet.

"Sit down," he snaps, looking up at me, narrowing those inky black eyes, and my body obeys even as my mind rebels. I settle for crossing my arms over my chest and doing my best to look put out.

"Don't see why you want me to stay," I snort, pointedly not looking at him. "Seems like you and Kakarot have got things well in hand."

"What are you, a child?" Vegeta sneers. "Since when do you care that I'm fucking your brother?"

"Since…" I sigh, and lean my head into my hands, letting my hair fall into place over my face protectively. "Since I don't know…" I want to say, 'Since forever'. But honesty isn't always the best policy with my prince.

"So you do care?" He sounds more curious than anything else.

"What do you want me to say, Vegeta?" Suddenly I'm tired of this whole charade, this game we play of dancing around the past, never talking about it. "Yes, I care. Yes, you broke my heart however many years ago it was to you. Yes, I never got over you, even though I thought I had. Yes, I still want you so badly it hurts. Good enough for you?" I look up at him, truly angry now, pissed off at the way he's rubbing this affair with my brother in my face.

"Maybe." His face is infuriatingly blank, calm, like this means nothing to him. Probably _does_ mean nothing, just some old lover who's still holding a torch. Well, fuck him. I stand again, practically snarling down at him.

"Look, I'll stick around for Kakarot's sake, but I'm fucking fed up with your…your stupid innuendoes, and the time you spend off with Kakarot. Why don't we just find the damn dragonballs, and then we can all go home where you'll be free to fuck my brother stupid all day, every day, if that's what you want. Until then, _leave ME the fuck alone_!"

I snap my tail furiously around my waist and leave him blinking at me, stomping off into the small stand of trees near the campsite, further up the stream. Thankfully, he doesn't follow me, and I find myself alone again. Gratefully, I sink to the ground, and lean up against a small birch. Fucking prince. Fucking brother. Sometimes I hate my fucking life.

I'm sitting there maybe twenty minutes this time when, once again, I'm interrupted in my search for solitude. This time it's my brother. "Raditz?"

He's standing about ten feet away, just looking at me curiously. "Yeah, Kakarot, what?" I ask, and I don't bother to hide the annoyance.

"You and Vegeta fighting?"

"Not fighting so much as him pissing me off, me yelling and leaving. Why?" I brace myself for the inevitable barrage of questions. But none come. Instead he just walks over and sits down next to me.

"Just worried about you."

"That's supposed to be my job, little brother," I remind him gruffly, and he smiles at me, one of those smiles he's got that seems to just light up his face with this almost ethereal glow. He shares that expression with his sons. Gods knew where he got it from, I never look like that, certainly, and Father never did either.

"I know. Just thought I'd try out the role for awhile. It's kind of a pain in the ass, isn't it?"

I don't want to laugh, really I don't. But my body ignores me and gets on with it. "Yeah, sometimes. But it has its rewards."

"Such as?" He's got his eyebrows raised in honest curiosity.

"I dunno. I get to feel superior. I can tell you what to do sometimes. And, just…I don't know." I don't know how to explain the way I feel when I'm acting as a proper big brother. It's not like having kids, but that sense of belonging becomes so powerful then. Saiyans are a naturally social race, kind of like dogs. We _want_ to belong to a group, and we like things to have a strict hierarchy, an order, even if we do have a tendency to challenge that order at every opportunity. Kakarot is part of the group I belong to. And I realize I _want_ the role of big brother, to take care of him, watch out for him. It's funny, he's so much more powerful than me, the thought of me protecting _him_ is completely laughable. But there it is.

"Were you fighting about me?" I look over at him, surprised at the astuteness of the question.

"Kind of."

"Why? Is it because me and Vegeta are sleeping together?"

I consider how to answer that. I haven't really taken the time to analyze these feelings myself. "Some of it," I say, honestly. "It's more than just that, though. He can be…Gods!…so aggravating sometimes. He just likes to…I don't know, smack me in the face with it." I pick idly at some dead leaves on the ground. "I still…I still really care about him."

"Yeah, I kinda figured." Kakarot lays one hand companionably on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "He still cares about you, too, you know?"

"I doubt it." I'd rather not hear lies to assuage my melancholy.

"No, he does. I can tell." Kakarot leans forward earnestly, catches my eyes with his.

"Kakarot. I'm a total nobody. It's been, what, twenty years or so for him, since he even talked to me? I'm nothing compared to you guys." I don't enjoy the self-depreciation schtick, but it's true. Let's be realistic here.

"Raditz. You're one of the last three full-blooded Saiyans alive. You _are_ the last that recognizes him as a prince, the last real tie to his past. That means an enormous amount to him, even if he won't say it."

"So he cares about my position in the world, not me."

"Do you think he only cares about me because of my power?"

Good point. I look over at Kakarot, frowning. "Well, no…but that's different, anyway. You _are_ your power, you have it because of your hard work, your…I don't know how to put it, the way you stand up for everything, never back down."

"You _are_ a Saiyan," he shoots back seriously. "It's in everything you do, every little action. And he knows that. And it's not that way with all of us, I think. Something about you, and just you, reminds him of home."

It's something to consider. But I don't want to consider it now. I just want to find the dragonballs, get on with this stupid quest, not have to analyze anything or anybody. Not yet. Not today. "Okay, Kakarot," I concede, laying my hand over his with a crooked grin. "Fine. Just keep him away from me today and maybe I'll even remember what you said."

"Good," he answers, grinning back, and I'm surprised at the little thrill that goes through me at having pleased him. He lets his hand drop from my shoulder, and I find myself missing his touch, and leaning slightly towards him. He looks a little surprised himself, as he notices that our faces are only a few inches apart. I watch his open, dark eyes go wide, and his lips part in a little 'o' of realization.

It seems so perfectly natural just to sway forward those few inches, to lightly dust his lips with mine, and it feels so _good_ because I'm the one initiating it, and there's no confusion here, no shoulds or shouldn'ts, no wondering what's going to happen next. Just the delightful feel of my brother's lips parting slowly under my tongue as he lets me slip gently into his mouth, and then the weight of his hand on the back of my neck, pressing ever-so-lightly as he kisses me back.

It has none of the desperate passion I so often found in the kisses of my few lovers. It's simply sweet, and open, and decidedly soft, and he tastes like honey, my brother tastes like wild clover honey, thick and sticky and lovely as his tongue moves languidly over mine, and his eyes flutter closed, and I feel the slow exchange of heat between our bodies, and the buzz of insects and the faint birdsong forever cements this moment in my mind, the first time I kiss my brother. I love him so much.


	19. Eighteen

Author's Note: Forgive any of my inconsistencies on the stuff about the dragonballs here…I haven't actually seen all the episodes, so I'm little shaky on some of the background.

* * * * *

Needless to say, I'm persuaded to go back to the campsite. As we walk back, I sling my arm over Kakarot's shoulders, and he winds his around my waist and leans his head into my shoulder. He's just the right height to do that. And what should be a supremely awkward way to walk, well, isn't. I loop my tail over his arm, and we move in silence, not needing the words right now.

It isn't really a very long walk. When we get back, Vegeta is neatly tying up his bedroll, like he does every morning. Not that we're necessarily going anywhere today, unless we find that stupid dragonball. But Vegeta has always had this need for order, both physically and mentally. I remember…but I don't want to think about that now. Instead I just watch him as he glances up from that immaculate, tight bundle of fabric, and spots my brother and I.

It's almost all worth it at that point. He just stands there, staring at us. Not shocked…he never looks shocked unless he's angry. Just…staring, hands resting lightly on the bedroll, a slight breeze sifting gently through his defiant flame of hair. I sneak a quick glance at my brother, and he's smiling warmly at our prince, then at me. I can't help but smile back, then lean in slowly to brush a line of kisses along his jaw. My tail slides up to flicker at the back of his neck as I wind my way up to his mouth, capturing it briefly but intensely, before releasing him.

Vegeta's still staring. I curse his lack of a tail…I can't tell what he's thinking. But I decide to ignore him as I saunter over to my own blanket and begin folding it sloppily. I feel his dark eyes on the back of my neck, it takes an enormous effort not to look up. Kakarot's getting out the dragonball radar, turning it on, when I spot movement out of the corner of my eye. A small, brownish animal. There's a lot of them around here…they have a helpless round shape, but move surprisingly fast when given the opportunity. Not as fast as me, though.

I hold the thing up by its long ears, and my stomach growls at me impatiently. "These any good for eating, Kakarot?" I ask, turning to my brother and brandishing the animal. It's swinging back and forth, frightened.

My brother looks over, raising his eyebrows. "What, rabbits? Yeah, they're pretty good, but you'd have to get a whole lot of them for the three of us."

Rabbit, huh? I blink at the little thing, silently agreeing with Kakarot. One quick twist and its neck is broken. "Where do these rabbits live?"

Kakarot shrugs. "In a warren, I guess."

"Warren?"

"Series of holes and tunnels under the ground. Must be one nearby…there's sure enough rabbits around for one."

Hmm. I regret killing the other one so quickly…maybe I could have scared it back into its hidey-hole and found the other ones. But I spot a dappled white and grey one about fifty feet away. "Guess I'll get us some breakfast then," I grin.

I stomp loudly towards the rabbit, but the stupid thing just stares up at me, glassy-eyed with fear. Finally, I leap at it, and then it's off and running, skittering away. I keep up easily, and see it dart into a well-concealed hole in the ground. Ah, perfect. I flop down on my stomach, the warm grass tickling my cheek as I peer down into the hole. Too dark to really see much, but I don't doubt it connects to this warren thing. It's the next part that's going to be tricky.

Piccolo taught me this neat trick with my ki. That's all I thought it was at the time, a trick, because I couldn't imagine not using the maximum amount of force when trying to blast someone with ki. But he said learning control would be useful, and could potentially be a lot harder than just building strength.

"Of course, if you think you're not up to it," he had said, crossing his arms smugly, and that was that. I was going to learn how to do the stupid thing.

Basically what he taught me was how to manipulate ki like a sort of kinetic force, instead of a blast. Using it to pick things up, push things, stuff like that. Apparently he did this when he was training; lifting mountains with his mind and all that kind of shit. I found it exceedingly difficult to get the hang of; I've never been much of a ki manipulator. If I can't use my feet or fists on it, it doesn't seem much worth my while. But I was grateful to Piccolo today; maybe I could get another blank look from Vegeta for this one.

Carefully reaching out with my ki, I feel my way down the small hole in the ground. I close my eyes to concentrate better, hold my body still and quiet. To do this right, I'll have to have perfect concentration…ah! There! I can feel the little rabbit, trembling in the tunnel, its heartbeat thundering like a tiny drum. And more, beyond it…and more holes, on the other side of that little hillock. The main body of the warren must be right under the hill.

Okay, next step. I stop for a moment, take in a few deep breaths to help me focus, concentrate. I try to block out the noises around me, just focus on the feel of the earth underneath me, dark and loamy, cool below the surface and slightly moist. I dig my fingers into the ground, breaching the topsoil layer of grass…and then I give a little push, down the tunnel.

It hurries the rabbit further down the hole. I push again, letting my ki spill down that hole like water, finding all the crevices, filling all the cracks, pushing the rabbit harder. But not too hard! I have to be careful, I don't want to kill the thing. Not yet, anyway. Another deep breath, another push…and now I'm falling, tumbling down two tunnels, three…another, five, six, ten. Careful, careful…I've got a full freight of rabbits now, and other debris, sticks and rocks and whatnot. Just about enough…

I give one final, hard _push_, and everything comes popping out the other side of the hole. I look up, grinning madly, watching the impromptu rain of rabbits and dirt. I leap to my feet, not even pausing to dust myself off, and begin running in wild circles, scooping up rabbits right and left. When I've got eight good sized ones, plump and soft, I desist, falling back in the grass to watch the rest of the little animals bolt every which way, trying to figure out what the hell happened.

I have to laugh. It's just too damned funny, and I know exactly how these rabbits feel. To have your whole world turned upside down, to be shoved out of your comfy, dark hole…I look up at the sky and laugh and laugh, and my tail dances time.

Finally, I get to my feet, and hook my tail around the necks of my prize. I'm about to take these beauties back to the fire when I see something glinting golden mellow in the brilliant autumn sun. Frowning, I trot over to look at it. It's the goddamn dragonball!

Shaking my head in amusement, I scoop the tiny thing up. Fits perfectly in the palm of my hand, must've popped out with the rabbits. "Well, shit." Laughing again, I toss it up in the air and then catch it neatly. It's got an odd feel…looks a bit like glass, but feels like stone, heavy and cool, wrapped in my callused fingers.

As I move back to the fire, I spot Kakarot and Vegeta engaged in some sort of heated conversation. Neither look particularly angry, but Vegeta is frowning and they're speaking in low voices, presumably so I can't hear. I snort, and toss down the rabbits.

"Breakfast," I announce, then toss the dragonball at Vegeta's head. "Catch."

There is no universe in existence in which Vegeta will ever get hit in the head with any sort of ball. It's just not possible. So I'm not surprised when he deftly snatches the dragonball out of the air and examines it briefly. What I am surprised at is the slow smile which blooms on his face like some sort of suspiciously sweet-smelling flower that is very likely highly poisonous.

He spins the dragonball over the back of his hand, dancing it along his knuckles, before rolling it around to hold it again. Doesn't fit neatly into the palm of _his_ hand, they're much too small. Compact, his hands are, lean and precise, not like my too-large ones. His obsidian eyes follow its course briefly, then flicker up to me. He smile grows a bit wider, and he nods at me. "Not bad, Raditz," he says in that low, whiskey voice he has. High praise indeed, from him.

I nod to him in thanks, trying with some success to master my urge to jump in the air and shout, "Yes! Eat that, you arrogant bastard!" So instead I settle myself cross-legged in front of the fire and begin skinning the rabbits.

"Only one more to go," Kakarot comments, sitting down next to me with a handful of long sticks. "Where'd you find that thing?"

"In the warren…came out with the rabbits," I explain, licking some blood off my fingers absently, uselessly, since I still have seven more to skin.

"No wonder we couldn't find it before," Kakarot muses, then grins at me lopsidedly. "Neat trick, with the rabbits."

"Thanks." I give him a companionable smile, and he snares the rabbit from me, mounts it neatly on a stick, and sets it to roasting over the remains of our campfire. I wouldn't mind eating them raw, frankly, but Kakarot's gotten into the human habit of cooking everything.

"Have you thought about the second wish at all?" I glance up again from my work, frowning.

"What?"

"The second wish. I mean, since this was your idea, I figure you should get the second wish…"

Huh. "I didn't know you could have two wishes…"

"Oh yeah, Shen Long'll grant two. One is the tails…and two is yours."

Wow, that's a lot to think about. A whole wish, just for myself? Maybe I should give it to Vegeta…I look over at my prince, now sitting idly next to the stream and splashing cool water on his bare legs. The sun in his hair brightens the normal black with brilliant auburn highlights, impossibly beautiful. And the muscles along his shoulders as he leans over, glimmering with barely formed sweat. The back of his neck, that place where his hair springs upwards, something about that spot I just love to stare at…no. No, I'm not going to give away my wish just yet.

"I guess I don't know what to wish for, Kakarot. What would you do, if it was yours?"

He thinks about it. We've been out here a little over two weeks, and little by little I've watched his natural good humor return to him, so now he's something much more like his former self. The eternal optimist, so cheerful and bright sometimes it's sickening. But also comforting. Despite what Vegeta would have him believe, we Saiyans are not naturally a dour people. Quick tempered, maybe, and that's where Kakarot _did_ differ from most of us, but never dour. Of all the different races I have met, Saiyans are the most passionate, about _everything_. About people, about love, about fighting, about joy. Vegeta was always considered unusually serious, even as a child, and having his entire race of people wiped out only made him worse.

"I don't know what I'd wish for. I mean, there isn't really anything I want." He laughs, a light chuckle, free of worry, that makes him sound about twenty years younger. "Just miss my tail. Though honestly, I never thought about it much until you showed up again."

"Fat lot of help you are," I grumble, punching him hard in the shoulder. He'll hardly feel it.

"Shouldn't have help on your wishes, anyway," he chides me, eyes like sun-warmed obsidian dancing playfully.

"Maybe I should just wish for world domination. Or to be immortal or something." But those have never been my wishes. Power yes, what Saiyan doesn't want power? But my ambitions have always been confined to people, as opposed to things. Or one person, anyways. And I don't want to force my prince's affections with a wish.

"Taking a leaf out of Vegeta's book?" Kakarot teases me, and I snort. Hardly.

"If I was, then I would just wish to be taller," I shoot back, and am pleased at the choke of laughter I wring from my brother.

"Raditz! Don't let him hear you talking like that!" His eyes still hold amusement, though, and I turn back to my rabbits feeling somewhat better.

"Talking like what?" Ah, his voice is like desert-cracked sandstone.

"Oh, I was just saying I was going to wish for the ability to kick your ass when we find the last dragonball," I respond airily, and I hear Vegeta snort, a sound so like the one I just gave in response to my brother. But while I'm like a frothing bull, he's some sort of purebred racing horse, all flash and style and elegance.

"Shen Long only has the power of the one who makes the dragonballs. And the guardian of the Earth can't 'kick my ass', as you so crudely put it, nor can anyone on this mudball, so looks like you're out of luck." I hear the amusement slide through his voice, and I find myself grinning down at my busy hands in response.

"I know several Sons that would beg to differ with you on your estimation of your prowess, my _Prince_," I answer, deliberately not looking at him. I hear his little in-drawn breath of outrage, though.

"How _dare_-" but he cuts himself off before he can start, showing some of that fabled self-control. "I'll forgive you that, you're obviously been listening to your brother for far too long."

"Actually, Vegeta," Kakarot pipes up, but then stops when we both look up at him, frowning. "Oh. Okay."

"I find far more interesting things to do with my brother than listen to him talk, these days," I respond as though Kakarot never interrupted. And I'm intrigued to hear the way Vegeta's breathing quickens for just a moment. Angry? No…as I sniff the air, blocking out the overwhelming scent of blood, and old embers and dead wood, I can taste the faint traces of Saiyan desire in the air. I lick my fingers again, this time more deliberately, rolling the pad of my thumb into the back of my mouth and savoring the taste if the still-warm blood. I let my eyes drift up to Vegeta's face, looking at him from under my thick, dark lashes.

Vegeta's very, very good at giving blank face. But not good enough…I can see the small twitch at the corner of his mouth, the way his nostrils flare. I smile around my thumb, pull it out slowly from my mouth and run it along my lower lip before returning to my task. There's a small rustle of cloth, then Vegeta's standing and walking away, still breathing heavily. I look up again, this time to note my brother watching me with bemused interest.

"You're playing a very dangerous game, do you know that?" he asks me, but of course I do.

"Yeah. Do you mind?" That's really the question that matters most. I don't want to…_can't_…hurt my brother at this point.

"Nope," he responds cheerfully, "But I may not bail your butt out when you get in too deep."

I laugh, and give myself permission to silently celebrate both my sudden daring and the absolutely amazing time I'm having out here in the woods, kissing my brother and trying my damndest to seduce my prince.


	20. Nineteen

Author's Note: Short chapter, this time. Thanks goes out on this one to Emma, who inspired Raditz' wish on the dragonballs.

* * * * *

I stare in fascination at the last one. The last dragonball we need. Vegeta holds it from the water triumphantly, his usual sneer widening to a victorious grin as he drags himself from the rushing river. The weight of the water pulls his hair into a long fall down his back, plastering it down one side of his face, and his bare chest shimmers enticingly in the desert sun. Kakarot and I perch on two outcroppings from the canyon wall, but as I watch my prince avidly, my brother jumps down, swinging his bag from off his shoulder, and spilling the rest of the dragonballs in a haphazard pile on the baked sandstone which serves as a riverbank.

Vegeta shakes his head, almost dog-like, dislodging great sprays of water that form brief rainbows, leading lives of sparkling color for a few seconds. Freed of some of the weight, his hair makes a sincere attempt to spring back into its normal proud flame, but fails, flaring backwards like porcupine's quills. He leans over to add his discovery to the pile of golden spheres, and I watch the sinuous curve of his spine melt into the gloriously tight flesh of his ass. Yeah, I've got it bad.

He and my brother stare down at the pile, until I call out to them. "Well? Aren't you going to call the dragon?"

Kakarot grins at me, excitement dancing in his dark eyes. "Yeah, I guess we should, huh?"

"Get on with it, Kakarot," Vegeta commands.

Kakarot nods, and squats down, leaning his torso over the dragonballs and casting a heavy shadow. But surprisingly, at least to me, the balls themselves begin pulsing with light, like a slow, steady heartbeat. Vegeta looks uninterested by the whole affair, so I assume this is what usually happens when the dragonballs are used.

"Arise, dragon!" my brother calls out, stretching his arms over the dragonballs. Suddenly, the glow no longer pulses, but brightens swiftly, producing a savage golden light that is almost blinding in its intensity. I turn my head from the light, looking up instead at the sky, and witness something new.

The sky, which had been a faded, burning blue, has darkened as a mass of what looks like black clouds gather. The brilliant midday sun is extinguished, and instead flickers of yellow-white lightning rage across the stormy heights. I watch in fascination, impressed by the pseudostorm that heralds the arrival of Shen Long. Suddenly, my attention is drawn back to the balls as a huge mass of light streams out from them, a sort of long streamer of illumination racing into the sky.

The light forms itself into the intricate emerald coils of an enormous dragon, its adorned head rising above us. In a huge, deep voice it speaks. "I AM HERE AS SUMMONED. TELL ME YOUR WISHES THAT I MAY RETURN TO MY SLUMBER."

I find myself gaping up at this massive creature, as Kakarot addresses it as if it was an old friend. "Hey Shen Long! We'll try and make this quick for you."

"OH, IT'S YOU. DIDN'T YOU SUMMON ME JUST A SHORT TIME AGO?"

"Yeah, but we have another two wishes now." I blink at my brother, as a sudden thought hits me. What was his second wish when he brought me back from the dead? Or did it take two to bring me back? The specifics of this whole wishing thing seem fairly complex, and Kakarot hasn't exactly done the best job of explaining it to me.

"GET ON WITH IT." Huh, seems like the dragon and Vegeta share an attitude.

"Okay, my first wish is that all Saiyans-" He stops suddenly, blinking, then rubs his chin. "Actually, I don't know if I want to put it that way…um, hang on a sec." He looks over at me, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Really, Kakarot, what's the problem?" Vegeta has his arms crossed over his chest, tapping one finger impatiently against his bicep. His hair's starting to dry, I notice idly.

"Well, I want everyone, us and Trunks, Goten, and Gohan to get tails back. And maybe Pan and Bra. How do I put that? Or do I just say everyone's name?" Kakarot tilts his head to the side in confusion, and I stifle a snicker.

"Just wish for everyone who was born with a tail to get theirs back," I suggest mildly. My brother's eyes light up and I smile indulgently at him.

"Perfect. Okay, Shen Long, I'm ready!"

"IT'S ABOUT TIME. WELL?" It's actually pretty funny hearing this big booming voice sound annoyed.

"I wish for every one, here on Earth, who was born with a tail to get their tails back." Kakarot grins up hugely at the dragon, looking about twelve years old in his delight.

"YOUR WISH IS GRANTED."

I expect there to be a flash of light, or something, anyways, but there isn't any visual cue that anything has changed. Of course, the twin wordless exclamations of shock from Vegeta and Kakarot pretty much confirm that the wish has indeed been granted. I look over at my brother first. He's wearing a pair of his baggy gi pants, and I can see something snaking around his leg under the fabric. Completely unabashedly, he pulls down his pants a few inches, letting a long length of soft brown fur twist loose. Laughing in wonder, he grabs it loosely, pulling it around front to stare down at it.

Vegeta, on the other hand, has already slit a small hole in his shorts in preparation. His tail now dances freely behind him, a darker, reddish-brown, sleek and compact, just like him. Vegeta was always extremely expressive, and looking at him with his tail back reminds me of it. When he was…when we were _both_ younger, we could carry on entire conversations with just our hands and tails, rarely needing verbal confirmation to grasp the other's meaning.

My prince carefully wraps his tail around his waist, tracing his fingers lightly over its soft length. His eyes are dark and unreadable as ever, but a strange smile hovers over his lips. I remember what my brother told me, that his tail was cut from him when he first came to this planet. It must have been incredibly traumatic, to have it ripped from him in adulthood. But something about his smile...there's a serenity, a joy there that I've rarely seen on his face. It's absolutely breathtaking.

"WELL?" the dragon suddenly interrupts, and I stare up at it, suddenly annoyed. Almost forgetting it's my turn next. "YOU HAVE ONE MORE COMING. WHAT IS IT?"

Kakarot looks over at me, still grinning like a loon. "Looks like you're up," he throws at me laughingly. I nod, then bite my lower lip. I really don't want Vegeta to hear this…

Making up my mind, I take to the air, spiraling up to the dragon's head. It's far enough away from my brother and my prince that I'm fairly confident I won't be overheard. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE, LITTLE MONKEY?" Shen Long asks me in mild interest.

"I'd like to keep this wish between you and I, if you don't mind." The dragon regards me curiously, blinking gleaming ivory eyes, so much bigger this close. I can see the line of every glorious scale, the tiny cracks in his horns…

"VERY WELL."

"Okay," I say, taking in a deep breath of cleansing air. I've been thinking about this for the last few days, ever since my brother brought it up. What do I really want? "I wish that, at a time of my choosing, I will be able to sense, read, hear, whatever Vegeta's thoughts for a period of…oh, say, an hour. And project to him, if I choose." An hour should be about right. Enough time to find out what I want to know. Not so much that his thoughts overwhelm me.

Not surprisingly, considering our social nature, Saiyans are not strangers to telepathic bonds. Families are often bonded in this way, and hunting packs form them as well, when spending extended amounts of time with each other. Life partners as well, and sometimes, if the relationship is intense, in even brief flings lovers can form them. I had one with Kakarot when he was a baby, and with my father as well. I started forming one with Vegeta long ago, but it was destroyed before it was complete. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to form one with Kakarot now, as it becomes easier and easier to understand his emotions and motivations, things that were such a mystery to me before.

But Vegeta is the one I really want to know about. And he hasn't changed so much that I can _ask_ him about these things. If he deigned to answer at all, it would be some sarcastic comment or insult. So, it's an incredible invasion of privacy. So the fuck what? The need to _know_ burns through me, and this is how I'll find out. Needless to say, I'm not a patient man.

While I revisit again my fear that this is a terrible waste of a wish (what happened to immortality? World domination? Being able to kick Kakarot's ass at pick-up basketball?), the dragon cuts off any avenues of indecision. "YOUR WISH IS GRANTED. GOODBYE, YOU STRANGE MONKEYS."

And as suddenly as he came, the dragon is gone, sucked back into the dragonballs that now rise into the air, curiously blank and white, and then shoot in seven different directions at incredible speed. I land heavily next to Kakarot, who smiles at me curiously.

"So what'd you wish for?" I just grin at him. I've never been much of a liar. "You're not going to tell me?" His voice rises an octave in surprise and disappointment.

"I'll tell you. Just not now." His tail flickers behind him in frustration, and my grin widens. There's always been something _wrong_, something missing with Kakarot. It's not missing any more.

"I doubt it would be of much interest," Vegeta drawls in a bored tone. I glance over at him, and his arms are crossed over his chest again. But I can see his tail sway back and forth, belying his apparent disinterest. He hasn't had it back long enough to be able to control it properly. Of course, I can't control mine, either, and I don't have any excuses.

"Sure, Vegeta," I practically purr, walking smoothly by him and reaching out to lightly thread his tail through my fingers. It's considered an incredibly intimate gesture among us, and it's _extremely_ rude to do to someone who isn't family or a lover. I'm willing to risk it, though. And the low gasp it wrings from him is definitely worth it. I run the entire length through my fingers, giving the tip a little twist before letting it drop. I hop back up to my previous perch and scoop my bag up, finally turning to look down at him. He's gazing up at me inscrutably.

Feeling incredibly pleased with myself, I jump down again and deliberately address only my brother. "So do you want to head back tonight?"

Kakarot considers, glancing over at Vegeta, then grinning at me. A very out-of-place grin, on him, anyway, all secret and knowing leer. "Hmm, no, let's take a night or so to enjoy our wish," he decides, waving his tail languidly. Yep, we're definitely starting to form a bond.

I turn to give Vegeta a once over, letting my eyes run up and down his sleek body suggestively. I have to admit, it's a wonderfully good view, his tight black shorts clinging to slender hips and muscular thighs. "Well, my prince? Do you approve?" I leave the question purposefully vague, open, and he snorts. He knows what game I'm playing, but he doesn't reprimand me.

"Very well," he tosses out, turning his back as though entirely unaffected by the whole thing. Of course, this gives an unobstructed view of his ass, now made even more enticing by the luxurious auburn tail that glides gracefully over the backs of his thighs. Oh, he _must_ know what kind of a show he's putting on. I find myself staring openly, and force myself to look over at my brother. He's staring right where I was, his tongue darting out to lightly caress his upper lip. He looks over at me then. And we break into identical broad grins as we realize just how alike we are at times.

Vegeta looks back at us, one elegant eyebrow arched quizzically as Kakarot and I each throw an arm over the other's shoulder and begin laughing hysterically.


	21. Twenty

I stare fondly down at my little brother, curled up on his side, sleeping peacefully. As I watch, his body clenches into a tighter curl, his newly-wished tail wrapping his legs snugly. I pull the blankets over his gently, smirking a bit. He certainly has been amusing today.

Vegeta, Kakarot, and I had an unspoken agreement, to make no plans, decide on no definite direction, to just fuck around all day. So we spent a few hours in a lake, a few more running through a sweaty viridian jungle, and chased each other laughing over some vast glaciers. And the entire time, Kakarot kept running his tail through his fingers with a child's delight. I'd turn and catch him sniffing it, or biting the tip lightly, laughing to himself.

Vegeta, for his part, left his waving behind him enticingly the whole day. I have to admit, it had me completely enthralled; Saiyan adults rarely let their tails slip from about their waists, unless in moments of high emotion. Childhood is the domain of that kind of freedom, tails weaving and dancing with abandon behind their owners at the least provocation. And even as a child, Vegeta had been unusually serious, circumspect in his expressions.

I pad back to the fire, glancing over at my prince who is gazing into the flames moodily. His face is blank, relaxed, his brow only very slightly furrowed, as though he is thinking. His auburn tail lays peacefully behind him, curled loosely against the log he sits on. His bare chest gleams softly in the firelight. He leans forward, resting his arms on his black-clad thighs. I can't resist.

I move over next to him, and drop into a casual crouch. He looks up at me with nothing but mild curiosity. It seems today's events have brought him some sort of peace. I look into those unreadable ebon eyes and reach out to delicately trace a finger along his jawline. Almost absently he tips his head away from my touch, and I let my fingers fall. Now seems as good a time as any. With a deep breath, I close my eyes and _push_ at him.

The first taste of his mind is overwhelming, chaotic, even in his relaxed state. I have a sense of colors, dark greens and deep violets, and a bright flare of amber…the fire? Is that how he sees the fire? No…it's the fire reflected on the hollow of my cheek. My eyes fly open, disoriented suddenly at seeing myself through his eyes and yet still seeing _his_ face. I pull out of his mind rapidly. He is simply staring at me, one eyebrow cocked upwards quizzically. He has no idea what I'm doing. Cautiously, I push back in.

"Vegeta?" I ask, my hand resting open, palm up, on my thigh.

"Hm?" he responds lazily. I concentrate again and feel:

_(ambergold, affectioncuriosity, what does he want?, blacksilk chaos, mine, pleasuretailflick, smells like soilearth warmed by the sun like that planet so long ago, blackblackblack shadesofblack, drown in it in his hair)_

"How…how do you feel about my brother?" It's so hard to concentrate; his thoughts are unbelievably intense, 'loud'.

"Kakarot? I like him well enough I suppose." (_amusement, is he jealous?, fiercetriumph, wavesoflust, alabasterandebony, shadows across Kakarot's face so beautiful, mine_) "He's a complete idiot, of course. I'd question his parentage if he didn't look so much like Bardock. His father was a genius." (_OVERWHELMINGLONGING, melancholy, hazyfaint silver and indigo, father_) "Why do you ask?"

"You were never…I mean, you seemed…you were never casual in your affections, Vegeta." His name is delicious on my tongue, and I'm proud of the polite way I've managed to phrase it. Better than, _Never figured you for a slut_.

"So?" (_amusement) _Funny, laughter is a sort of brilliant spring green in his mind, like sunlight on leaves.

"I don't want to see my brother hurt again. He adores you." I know it's true. Kakarot hides nothing on his face, it's there every time he looks at our prince, leaves him starkly vulnerable.

"So is this the little speech where you tell me you'll kill me or do something equally as vulgar if I break his heart?" (_curiosity_) A high, ringing bell. (_contempt_) A dull grey threaded with brilliant red. (_playfulness_) The scent of the sea.

"No. Hurting Kakarot carries its own punishment. I'm not the one who metes it out." He knows what I'm taking about, I can see it. The image of Kakarot, sobbing in my arms a few weeks ago, flashes through his mind, along with the smell of a rain storm.

"Hn." His impassive face is a lie. I smile suddenly, and reach out again, this time to grab his agitated tail, flickering behind him. He starts, frowning at me furiously. (_how DARE he! brightspark of pleasure, tingle, i remember him, i remember this, anticipation_)

"Vegeta," I purr, rolling the familiarity over my lips slowly, rubbing the rich, soft pelt of his tail between my thumb and forefinger experimentally. The brilliant flash of sensuality I get from him nearly sends me over on my ass. He coolly pulls his tail from my grasp, snaking it slowly away. How can he keep that bland face when he's experiencing intense shocks the likes of which would have me swooning? My respect for him grows.

"Yes, Raditz?" he replies mildly, but it's too much of an advantage, seeing into his mind like this. (_need_) Deep blue, the ocean at twilight. (_lust_) Burning crimson, taste of fresh blood and fire. (_control_) The sharp tang-scent of steel. It gives me courage I never thought possible.

I lean forward, closing the distance between us, planting my callused hands on either side of him, the rough, paper-like bark of the log flaking under my fingers. He merely watches me, and I smile, closing that last bit of distance a nip down lightly on his full lower lip. The sudden image I get sends me mentally reeling.

He's remembering me. Remembering me so many years ago, to him, and gods, was I ever that beautiful? Even when I was young and brash? His recollection isn't the slightest bit hazy, and I know that the scars his mind paints across my torso are mostly accurate, the sweep of my hair that I see in the mirror every day. Along with it comes an overpowering scent memory, musk and sweat and blood and earth, the soil is something he associates with me strongly. With this image comes an overwhelming affection for the memory, for the person I was over twenty years ago, coupled with a slowly dawning realization, for me at least. He loved me. At least, he loved me then. He didn't know himself at the time, but from his current, more experienced perspective, he knows that he did.

Overlaying all this is a sense of anticipation, balanced with a knife-edge curiosity. He remembers me before I came to Earth, weak, hesitant, (_notsafe_). And he sees me now, and he doesn't know which one I am any more. And…he wants to find out.

My surprise makes me stupid, I bite down harder than I meant to, drawing in the intoxicating tang of blood(_lust_). I moan into Vegeta's mouth, and push him heavily off the log, tipping him backwards to sprawl on the moist jungle loam. I'm on top of him immediately, devouring his mouth, and _he lets me_. More, he loops muscled arms over my bull neck, and kisses me back.

This is no tender, sweet first kiss. It has nothing in common with the way I touch my brother. This is hunger personified, and I force my tongue past the barrier of his lips, sweeping through his mouth, wanting to drink him alive, drown in the taste of him. He fights back against me, biting down on my tongue in a glorious miniature explosion of pain and blood. Not a duel for dominance, but rather a vicious exchange of sensation. I dig my fingers into the dirt, cool particles slipping under my nails as I drop the full weight of my body atop him.

He grinds his hips into me, and I can feel the sharp prod of his erection with a sort of heady triumph. I push down more firmly into him, and his thoughts are turning into chaos, mad sensations of touch, color, taste, and smell that intermingle with my own thoughts, until I can't tell what is his and what is mine.

It takes a supreme effort of will to pull myself away from his lips, ripe fruit that begs to be plundered. But there's more to taste here, and I'm greedy. I want it _all_. I hear the whimper in his head as I pull back, but it doesn't pass his lips. Regardless, I smile down at him ferally before moving to his neck, tasting the sweat soaked flesh there delicately, and murmuring soothing words into his ear in the old Saiyan tongue.

It's so hard not to just take a mouthful of the taut flesh here and bite into it. But I'm horny, not suicidal. I have no right to mark my prince in such a way, at least not until he does it first. Which I intend to happen, but not yet. I trail my mouth down to his collarbone to avoid temptation, and here I do bite, the warm press of flesh in my mouth electric. He arches up under me, moaning, and rakes his nails across my bare back. I can feel the blood spring to the surface in eight neat furrows.

It's indescribable, the sensation of his flesh in my teeth, scrape of bone against elongated canines. I suck at it hard, brining the blood to the surface in a lovely spray of red and purple, just under the skin. I hear a low snarl from my prince, and know that I might have gone too far, from the flashes of sudden surprise turning to outrage. But I have an ace up my sleeve.

I let my mind open to him, let him feel the incredible rush it is to be on top of him, tasting him, feeling his arousal shoved rudely into my hip. Let him see how beautiful he is, let the wave of (_affectiondesireneed_) crash through his mind. I hear the gasp mentally and physically, and I smile into his neck. While he is still reeling from the shock of it, I capture one nipple in my mouth, circling my tongue around it roughly, then tugging at it gently with my teeth.

Then something happens that I didn't predict, didn't think of. I feel Vegeta's reaction to my mouth, the pleasure of it, and he feels _my_ pleasure in his flesh, and my reaction to his pleasure and…I pull back abruptly, mentally and physically, staring down at him. His inky eyes blink hugely up at me, his swollen lips falling open soundlessly. Both of us shudder slightly as the aftershocks die.

"What the hell was that?" he asks softly.

"Careful what you wish for…" I respond, my mind suddenly racing with the possibilities. I drop my body down again, this time aligning our hips, and press my erection into his with a slow roll, re-opening the connection at the same time.

I practically leap from his body, almost coming from the sheer, excruciating thrill. Panting heavily, his eyes narrowed as he attempt to control himself, Vegeta snarls, "This is what you wished for? To fuck me?"

"Well, sort of," I answer heavily, trying to stop my body from dropping onto him again and humping his leg like a dog. I'm not really sure I should answer; he's bound to be seriously pissed. But then again, I do have a way of cutting things off if he decides to leave. Heh. "Actually, I wished for us to have a mental connection."

"You WHAT?!" Oh yeah, he's ticked. Vegeta sits up, his face darkening dangerously, and raises his hands to shove me off…

So I collapse on top of him again, shutting his mouth with my tongue, rubbing against him while I savor his thoughts again, let him contemplate mine. His protests melt wordlessly into a needy groan as the electricity flares between us once more. But this is making it as hard for me to control myself as for him, so I decide to experiment a little. Carefully, I try to somewhat restrict the flow between us, damp it down a little. To my delight, it works...I can still feel what he's feeling, but not as strongly, as overwhelmingly.

Unfortunately, that control goes both ways, and as I watch, a small frown forms on Vegeta's lips…I dip my head quickly to lave over his nipple again with my tongue, and he settles back with a soft sigh, arching his back slightly. I move to his other nipple, circling it slowly, planting soft, open mouth kisses on his chest, as I feel my own nipples harden at the attention to his. This has definite…possibilities.

I move back, and sit on the ground, my back propped up against the log. I pull Vegeta to follow, but he's regained enough mastery of his own body to crawl into my lap on his own, straddling my waist. I feel a flare of desire at the sight of his catlike crawl, the feel of his powerful thighs slipping around me, and I hold it out to him like a gift. Grinning, he leans in and whispers his mouth along my jawline, then pushes forward to bury his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply. (_OHHgods, that smell, he wants me so much, mine_). I wrap my arms around his waist, and use one hand to stroke along the length of his tail. He falls forward into me with a burst of (_OH! sweetsharpscarlet_).

The feel of his fevered flesh against mine sparks a frenzy in me. I have to have more, if I don't, I'm sure my brain will explode in frustration. Growling, I rip the flimsy material of his shorts, throwing the shreds of cloth aside, and do the same for myself. I can feel the slow trickle of sweat on his inner thighs, pressed against my hips, the tip of his tail flickering across my knees in my grasp, the tight muscles of his ass. The distraction makes me lose the little bit of control I have over the link, and the full force of reflected pleasure consumes me.

There's no longer any sense of him or me, no names for the parts of the body I stroke, no difference. It's all skin and fur and ecstasy. Every bit of our bodies are aroused, and I think…I think we're rubbing against each other, rutting in the dirt, straining sweaty flesh, but how or why means nothing. Our thoughts are perfectly synchronized, (_WANTNEEDTOUCH_) and I know that we move together, sliding over and under and across each other.

There are brief flashes of coherency. Vegeta's tail twined around my hand. A rumbling groan in my ear that isn't mine. The whisper of fingertips over someone's nipples. His erection trapped flat against my stomach, my own tucked between his legs rubbing under his balls. My tail around his waist. His teeth at my shoulder, biting in deep. The musky scent of his hair, brushing along my cheek. None of these images have any reference to time, they're like random pearls strung on a tangled thread. Precious, perfect.

I can feel something else building between us now as well, something bigger that threatens to wipe out all sense of self. I want it, badly, and so does my prince. We struggle towards it together, by twisting and rubbing and breathing and moaning. I can feel it, pricking at my spine, dancing behind my eyelids, curling through my muscles. And almost without warning, it's there, like a tsunami or a hurricane, some force of nature that cannot be resisted, and it carries us(_IweI_) away, screaming.

I(_we_) shudder helplessly, and we(_I_) focus into one impossibly bright pinpoint of pleasure(_agony_). My_(our_) throat is ripped raw, and it is good. Our(_my_) muscles unknit themselves with the strain, and it is good. My(_our_) body explodes in liquid heat, coating us(_me_) with sticky residue. I(_we_) pant, struggling to regain control in the aftermath.

Slowly, so slowly, I come back to myself, and find myself tangled in him, staring into the most beautiful pair of black eyes I will ever see in my life. Dazed ebon that stares back, coming into focus. "Gods," I whisper, breath tickling over his parted lips, and it isn't enough. No words, nothing is enough to express what just happened. And so I open the link as wide as I can and pour it into him; every drop of devotion I have ever felt, any joy that has been mine because of him, every second I used thinking of him.

"My prince," I murmur, still watching him. And he nods. He acknowledges it, accepts it, accepts me, accepts this, and he _smiles_. And everything, everything is suddenly worth it.

Later, maybe, I'll think myself weak. Later, maybe, I'll consider the implications. But nothing that can come will make this not worth it. Nothing can taint this, nothing at all. I settle my prince, my love, my life more comfortably into my arms, curling my body protectively around him, and watching as he slowly shutters his eyes closed, and his breathing deepens into a gentle sleep. I leave the link open for as long as it is present, listening to his tranquil mind and letting it lull me to my own sleep.

* * * * *

I awaken with a yawn, finding myself stuck to my prince, with him curled up against my chest. I grin broadly up at the morning sky, sunlight streaming through broad, dark green leaves. I wrap my arms around Vegeta once more and bury my nose in his hair. Mmm, sweat and some lingering woodsmoke from the fire that mingles deliciously with his own natural scent. I lick along the side of his jaw, long, slow strokes that allow me to taste the salty tang of him. He blinks his eyes open sleepily, looking up at me.

"Morning, Vegeta," I greet him, and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"I am aware of that," he replies archly. 

I snort, and kiss the side of his neck. "Well, it's nice to know that not even a mind blowing fuck takes the edge off of you." I gently disentangle myself from him, mourning the loss of contact, but responding to necessity. We both stand, and I stretch, noting a record number of pops and crackles. My prince eyes me speculatively, a mysterious little grin quirking his lips. I wish the bond was still there; I have _no_ idea what that smile means.

"Why don't you go find Kakarot," he suggests lightly, and I look over in surprise to where my brother had been sleeping. He's gone. I nod and take to the air immediately. Unfortunately, the jungle we're in is dense, and I can't see him from up here…until I remember to look for his ki. Ah, he's not far at all. I skim over the tree tops silently, hoping to surprise him.

He's sitting on the bank of a large river, greenish and thick. He's got his shirt off, and looks ready to jump into the water. Grinning, I shoot myself straight at him, and barrel us both into the water with an enormous splash that causes several alligators to swim away, vastly irritated with the break in their morning routine. The water is wonderfully cool, though not very clear, rich with silt and plant life.

I come up laughing, him spluttering, and he spins, dunking me unceremoniously. I push up against his hand in vain, because of course, he's stronger than me. I, however, have a secret weapon. Reaching out, I flicker my fingers madly over his ribs, and he lets go with a shout, falling backwards. I surface and pounce on him, grinning down into his laughing face.

"I win," I declare smugly, and he looks outraged.

"You do not! That's so unfair, tickling isn't allowed!"

"Why not?" I ask sensibly, and he slaps me across the chest.

"Because you're not ticklish, Raditz." He glares at me, but can't hold the pose of mock anger for long. I push my dripping hair out of my face, and move to stand again, giving my brother a hand up.

"Yeah, but you're about ten thousand times as strong as I am, so I think that evens things out," I point out. He sighs, and nods solemnly.

"I suppose so. Hey," he exclaims suddenly, face brightening again, and an uncharacteristically sly look crosses his usually open features. "Did you have fun with Vegeta last night?"

"What do you think?" I ask him bluntly, and he falls backward, laughing, into the water.

"I think you did," he says to the jungle canopy.

"You don't mind, do you?" I ask suddenly, worried that maybe he's still clinging on to those Earth ideals of relationships. I would hate to hurt my little brother. But then, I don't know that I can give Vegeta up.

"Why would I mind?" Kakarot asks, genuinely curious.

"Well, I mean, aren't you Earth people generally monogamous?"

"I suppose so. Well, some of us. I don't know. But I'm not really an Earth person anymore, am I?" The question is a good one, and I frown, thinking, as I wade out deeper into the water. I can feel little fish nibbling at my calves and thighs, and I peer down at them. Wow, those fish have really big teeth. They seem a little annoyed that those teeth aren't doing anything other than tickling me.

When I first came here, a lifetime ago, Kakarot saw himself as an Earthling. He denied his Saiyan heritage loudly and violently. Somewhere along the way that must have changed, but I wasn't sure what did it. He still seemed to think of himself as more human than Saiyan when he brought me back. But now…

"I don't know. Are you?" I turn the question back on him, and he answers from his lazy back float.

"Maybe a little. But not as much as I used to be. I mean, I still feel very strongly about Earth, it's my home. But being a Saiyan…it makes so many things make sense. So many urges, that I thought were bad or wrong, they're not! It's just the way we are." The way he says 'we' makes me smile for some reason, and I splash him lightly.

"Yeah it is."

"But Raditz…you don't expect me to stop…um…having sex with him, do you?" It's funny how shy my brother can be around this subject. I shake my head as he looks over at me, and smile.

"No, not a bit. He's a prince. Princes have the right to as many lovers as they choose. Better you than…oh, I dunno, Krillin or something." I laugh. But the thought of sharing with Kakarot doesn't feel like a burden at all. In fact, it has my mind reeling with possibilities.


	22. Twentyone

We spend the rest of the day much like yesterday, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that none of us really want to go back yet. We're putting it off, but each for our reasons, I think. For me, it's simple. Being out here, with my brother and my prince, is as close as I've gotten to real happiness in a long time. There's a nagging little voice in the back of my head that's telling me this can't possibly last. But while we're away from everything, everyone else, I can pretend that this can go on and on. Being aware of your own illusions doesn't make them any less comforting.

I think it's the same for my brother. He was never really cut out to be a father, a husband; he's too much of a free spirit. Not that he resents his boys, the thought would never even occur to him. But there's something in him that likes to be away from all responsibility, to be able to do as he pleases. I guess when you're the savior of the Earth umpteen times over it's nice to get away from it all.

I'm not sure what it is for Vegeta. I have my suspicions, but he's still pretty unreadable, despite recent events. My guess, though, is that it has something to do with his memories of home. For the first time in a very long time, he's away from the trappings of human life, surrounded by pure-blooded Saiyans. Pure-blooded Saiyans who adore him. Kakarot can't quite get the subservient things down, but I think Vegeta doesn't really mind. I suppose when you can make someone beg for you, that's enough.

I'm trying to avoid falling into old habits with my prince. It would be too easy to let history play out again. But of course I give him my respect, the man is my prince, and a Super Saiyan besides! It's helping to have Kakarot around though…there's something about my brother that just makes me feel wanted, needed, powerful, if not in a ki-level sort of way.

Our second night after the wish, we find a deep cave on some lonely mountaintop, as a contrast to last night's steamy jungle. Snow dusts the ground here, getting thicker the higher we go. Dinner is three fat elk, and afterwards I lean back against the curved rock wall of our shelter, licking the last of the fat and grease from my fingers. I glance over at Kakarot, to see him doing the same thing, and we grin messily at each other. Then, at the same time, our eyes track over to Vegeta who is lounging on his side, stretched out like some great cat, his eyes half closed.

"So, Kakarot," I drawl lazily. "What do you want to do now?"

"Hmm, I don't know, Raditz," he answers slowly. "I know I'm not tired, though."

We trade knowing smiles as both of us climb to our feet, divesting ourselves of our clothing quickly, and pad over to our prince. He blinks slowly up at us as we circle him restlessly in opposite directions, tails flicking predatorily through the air. Each time my brother and I cross paths, we touch lightly; I run my fingers along his shoulder blades; he trails his tail over the line of my stomach; my lips ghost across the back of his neck; his fingers trace the muscles of my thighs.

"What do you idiots think you're doing?" asks Vegeta, but he sounds more curious than angry. I know my brother's captivated, intense expression must mirror mine, and without once looking at each other we drop to the ground simultaneously.

Kakarot aligns his body with Vegeta's, pressing his chest against our prince's hungrily as I spoon up against the smaller man's back. The prince's protests are swallowed by my brother's devouring mouth as I lick lazy lines up the back of his neck, luxuriating in the sharp tang of sweat at his hairline. I sniff at his hair, closing my eyes and drowning my senses in him as I allow one hand to roam over his hip. I feel Kakarot and our hands link briefly, fingers tangling, before moving in tandem to knead the hard, supple flesh of our prince's thighs and hips.

I feel Vegeta's moan vibrating through his chest and back where I'm pressed up against him, though I can't hear it as his mouth is still busy with my brother. His tail flicks in agitation and I capture it, grinning, and wind it around my fingers as I nuzzle against the back of his neck. Slowly I slide down, licking along his spine with long, even strokes, nibbling in between. My hands float down his thighs, nails trailing , catching in the soft cotton of his shorts. 

At the same time, Kakarot and I hook our fingers into the waistband of Vegeta's shorts and pull them down, easing them over his legs and then off. I look up, and meet a pair of fierce black eyes, and we grin at each other as we both dip down again to swipe our tongues over our prince's thighs, front and back. Twin rumbles echo from our chests as we suck and bite, slowly circling to more sensitive areas.

I swirl my tongue at the base of Vegeta's tail, teasing roughly, wrapping my arms around his waist and smoothing my hands along the firm planes of his stomach. Kakarot does the same, his own hands busy along Vegeta's spine. I hear Vegeta moaning out loud now above us and I glance up briefly to see his head tilted back, a scarlet flush rising from his chest through to his face. His eyes are closed, but his tongue darts out occasionally to taste the air as he slowly writhes between us.

I feel my own erection pulsing against my hip, deliciously painful and helplessly I find myself rubbing along Vegeta's legs as I tilt my head to run my mouth along the length of his tail. His fur is impossibly soft, the length of his tail supple and strong between my lips. Our prince lets out a needy moan, and I know my brother has turned his attention to our lover's arousal. I bite very lightly into the thick length in my mouth, lapping my tongue over it and wetting down the fur.

I can practically feel the moment when my reason leaves me. I'm overwhelmed by the taste of my prince, the sound of his ecstatic cries, the heat of his skin, the dusky woodsmoke-sharp scent of him; I have no conscious control over my body any longer. More, I don't care.

Snarling, I sit up, pulling Vegeta into my lap, his back pressed up against my chest, his ass rubbing delectably against my aching cock. He lets out a low cry, and Kakarot sits up, then crawls towards him, a feral light gleaming in his dark eyes. My brother meets my eyes as our tails snap in time and I know he's as gone as me, and as uncaring. He rises to his knees, pressing his chest up against Vegeta and leans in towards me. Our mouths meet in a hungry kiss over the prince's shoulder, and I wrest the taste of Vegeta's cock from him with a questing tongue.

Vegeta wriggles between us, leaning back into my chest even as he tongues one of Kakarot's nipples. The feel of that hard, rippling muscle writhing against me, unable to escape, brings a low growl from my chest, and it is echoed in my brother, vibrating through our mouths, growing between us, amplified by our kiss. We pull back panting, and even my own breathing is no longer in my control; it is ragged and desperate as I catch the last taste of Kakarot with my tongue, swiping it over my swollen lips.

The prince leans his head back on my shoulder, and I bend my head to lick insistently along his lower lip, coaxing his mouth open so that I can dive in with my tongue. His kiss is different from my brother's; there is a battle for dominance here, as he tries to thrust himself into my mouth. I growl, and hear my warning from Kakarot at Vegeta's chest, snarling as he scrapes his mouth over rose-pink nipples. Something in the back of my mind thinks it odd that at our threat the prince melts back, passively accepting our attentions with a soft sigh of contentment.

Reaching around to grasp Vegeta's thighs, I pull them apart roughly so that he straddles my much larger legs. I rub my cock along his ass, settling it between his legs, groaning at the sweet heat of him, the feel of the sweat trickling between his thighs. I feel Kakarot move lower, settling himself between our legs as he returns his attention to our prince's neglected erection. The wet sucking noises raise a grin from me as I return my hands to Vegeta's chest to pinch and rub his swollen nipples, wringing another gasp and helpless groan from him.

The sudden brush of heat and moisture at the tip of my cock wrenches a moan from me, as well, and I look over Vegeta's shoulder down at my brother, who is holding our prince's thighs apart and bathing his balls with his tongue, inadvertently getting me as well. He looks up, eyes shaded by those thick, sooty lashes, and he flashes a grin fit for the devil, darting his tongue out for anther slow, thorough lick that stiffens my spine and sets white lights dancing briefly behind my eyelids.

Vegeta wraps his tail around my waist, his back arching and relaxing at each bob of Kakarot's head, rubbing my cock luxuriously between his legs. I snake my own tail out around him, finding my brother's with unerring accuracy and winding them together. It's strange, but it's like I can feel the pulse of Kakarot's body through his tail, like somehow we've synched ourselves with that one point of contact. Electricity crackles between us as our tails wend together, rolling and stroking like two snakes mating. We moan in unison, and our purposes meet and meld and become something far more.

My body is totally run on instinct now as I gasp into Vegeta's neck, loosing my tail to grasp my brother's own thick arousal. Our voices echo on the cold stone of the cave walls as we writhe together in the warm flicker of the dying fire. We are reaching for something, the three of us, something together that we cannot find apart, but I don't know what it is, I just know that I have to _do_, have to keep moving, have to sweat and moan and taste and lose myself utterly.

Orgasm builds unbearably slowly, but still we grind together and swallow each other's cries and flesh. I lick frantically along the back of Vegeta's neck as my brother swallows his cock convulsively and the prince leans back, his mouth gaping for want. I hook my fingers into his mouth and he suckles on them madly as I milk Kakarot's cock with my tail. And finally, everything is so close, so perfect as muscles tighten and blood pounds through us as one…

There's no forethought to my next action as I feel myself pulsing out between Vegeta's legs and I feel a warm gush over my tail. I bite down on the back of my prince's neck, _hard_. I know Kakarot is doing the same to Vegeta's inner thigh, and our prince is too far gone to protest as the deliriously maddening scent of blood cuts through the musky thickness of sex. I lap slowly, like a cat at a milk bowl, across the ragged wound in our prince's neck and I hear the soft slurping noise of my brother doing the same.

Vegeta goes limp in our grip, moving languorously between us, making almost sleepy little moans that settle into a contented purr as we feed. His hands drift down to stroke through Kakarot's riot of hair, his tail loosening from my waist and stroking along the side of my face. It is pure _bliss_, and I sigh softly as the blood finally slows, settling back against the wall. A dark wave of exhaustion washes over me as I cradle my prince in my arms, Kakarot curling comfortably against his front, sandwiching Vegeta neatly. I have never felt so tired from sex before, but it's not unwelcome.

As the calm purring of three sated Saiyans pulls me off to sleep, a small voice in the back of my head tries to raise an alarm. I did something I wasn't supposed to, I know it, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is. So I ignore the little warning bells and allow myself to fall into the embrace of dreams.

* * * * *


	23. Twentytwo

I wake up stiff and sore, and somehow even happier than yesterday. Carefully disentangling myself from Vegeta and Kakarot, I look down at them, sleeping so peacefully. Well, not exactly peacefully…Kakarot snores louder than anyone I've ever heard, and Vegeta's tail twitches irritably, but other than that…

My brother has curled himself over our prince's body, almost possessively. His head is neatly tucked under Vegeta's chin, and one arm and leg are flung over the smaller man heavily. I laugh softly to myself as I shake out my hair and pad out of the cave, bare feet tingling in the morning's new snow.

The nearby stream is shockingly cold, and bits of ice stick in my hair as I dunk my head for an early morning wake-up. My tail bristles with the chill, but I ignore my protesting nerves as I sit down in the ice water and begin scrubbing the remnants of last night off my stomach and thighs. My skin is turning bright red - from the temperature or the scrubbing, I can't tell. I run my tongue experimentally over my teeth to check for debris, and then frown at the familiar taste.

Blood.

Did I bite my tongue last night? I can't remember, but I try to as I gather and handful of stream water and rinse out my mouth thoroughly. I just hope I didn't bite Kakarot, he's really not ready for something like that. I still have more to explain to him about how we Saiyans do things.

I'm thinking so hard I almost miss the raised voices from the direction of the cave. But they slowly filter into my consciousness and I stand hurriedly, shaking out my wet hair and tail. As I trot over to the cave entrance I can begin to make out words. It's mostly Vegeta.

"What…you…doing?!"

Some quiet reply from my brother.

"I can't…you did this!"

"Jeez, Vegeta, I don't…the big deal is!"

"You don't see what the big deal is?! You IDIOT!"

At this point, I slip into the cave, to see the back of Vegeta, his hands on his hips, his tail thrashing the back of his thighs angrily. Kakarot is standing in front of him, his face unhappy with confusion. He looks up as I enter, some relief washing across his features.

"What the hell is going on here, Vegeta?" I snarl angrily at my prince, and he whirls to face me, returning my snarl full force.

"_This _is going on," he growls, lifting his chin to reveal his neck and touching his forefinger to his inner thigh. Oh shit.

"Oh, shit."

"So I see _you_, at least, know the import of what happened last night," my prince hisses at me, and I nod dumbly as I stare at the two matching sets of bite marks at throat and groin. Well, at least the mystery of the morning mouthful of blood is solved.

"We…we marked you," I manage, and my brother cuts in impatiently.

"What does that _mean_, Raditz?" he asks, looking about ready to pull his hair out. "Vegeta keeps yelling at me that it wasn't my place, but I didn't hear him complaining last night!"

And that's really the crux of it. Not that we marked Vegeta, though that must have been irksome enough to him, but that he let us do it. There's a whole set of implications that go with that kind of willingness, none of which would please my prince.

"Well, essentially…" I try to think of it in human terms, find a way to explain while my prince narrows his eyes and _glares_ at me, his arms crossed across a chest that, even now, stirs the fires of my libido. "Essentially we married him, Kakarot."

"What?!" My brother joins our prince in staring at me, but he seems more shocked than anything else. "I can't be married…I mean, I already am married! ChiChi and I aren't even divorced yet!"

I shrug helplessly as Kakarot begins pacing. "Oh, man, what am I gonna tell Gohan? What am I gonna tell Goten?"

"I think neither of them will be as shocked as you might think," I venture, but my brother persists on looking panicked.

"I see why you're so upset, now, Vegeta!" he continues, looking down at the prince anxiously. "But I had no idea, last night…I mean, I wasn't thinking…it just felt so right!"

Vegeta hisses at that, and turns, catching Kakarot in a hard blow across the face. "IDIOT!" He's speechless with rage, a new one on me, and he clenches his fists furiously, torn between hitting my brother again or screaming. He settles on neither, instead snatching up his bag of clothes and storming out of the cave, blasting off into the sky as soon as he hits the snowline.

I sigh, and haul out my own bag, pulling some clean clothes from it and beginning to dress. Kakarot interrupts me, laying his hand on my shoulder. "What the hell is going on, Raditz?"

"It's going to take some serious explaining," I warn him. "Better get dressed first, and I'll explain over breakfast. Okay?"

As I suspect, the thought of food is the one thing to distract him from the latest disaster. Nodding, he begins to scramble into a pair of jeans, then a loose t-shirt. We gather the rest of our things, and Kakarot wraps an arm around my waist, placing two fingers to his forehead. Oh, instant transmission.

We appear in front of two startled businessmen, in what looks like a big city. I gape, still not used this method of transportation. And why did Kakarot pick a city?

"I'm too impatient to hunt," he explains, as though reading my mind. "This way, we can order something, and talk while we're waiting for it. Okay?"

I nod, turning to see that we are, indeed, in front of some sort of restaurant, with a garishly blue roof. After entering, we're seated quickly near the back by a somewhat nervous waitress who keeps eyeing our tails. Luckily the place is only sparsely populated. We order, and the amount of food seems to make the waitress even more nervous; she hurries away and I see her whispering to one of the other waiters at the front, glancing back over her shoulder at us every now and then. I resist the urge to growl and bare my teeth at her, figuring as long as brings us the food and leaves us alone, I don't have any reason to hassle her.

"So," Kakarot begins, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his hands. "What exactly did we do last night? And why is Vegeta so pissed about it? I mean, besides the obvious."

I lean back, wondering where to begin first. Probably with the whole marking process…"Okay, you know how I said marking someone was like getting married?" He nods. "Well, think about marriage. It's more than just two people being committed to each other, right?"

"Yeah…"

"When you get married, you generally do it because you love someone, because you have some history together, right?"

"Yeah…well, sometimes. I mean, some people get married because someone is pregnant. Or for political reasons. Or because their parents want them to be married." I rub my chin thoughtfully. 

"Yeah, we have marriage like that on Vegeta-sei, too. But marking…well, it's like when you get married for love, I guess. But it's different than with humans. On Vegeta-sei, marked pairs are considered special…" I try to think of a way to say everything I want to, but keep it simple enough for someone who hasn't grown up with the concept.

"Different how?"

"Well, for one thing, marking has a hell of a lot more to do with instinct than conscious thought. I mean, you can go into a relationship, and decide that at some point you want to mark your partner, or be marked, but just biting won't do it. There has to be more involved…there has to be deep passion, compatibility, as well as real commitment to each other."

"What happens if there isn't?" Kakarot looks fascinated by this whole thing; he almost seems to have forgotten that we're talking about something we've _done_.

"Well, if someone was to bite another without that, it would just be a bite. It would hurt a bit, but no bond would exist. But if two…or three, or whatever…Saiyans decide they want to be marked or mark, if they're ready for it, when they have sex one of them will emit a certain musk, a smell…it triggers something." I rub the back of my neck tiredly.

"A smell?"

"Yeah, it's actually pretty subtle. You don't notice it on a conscious level, but it drives the other partner into an almost frenzy…which ends in biting."

Kakarot considers all of this carefully, still leaning on his hands, then he sits back heavily. "So when we were biting Vegeta and drinking his blood, that was because he was spewing out some kind of musk that drove us crazy?"

"Y-Your food!" the waitress squeaks as she stares at my brother in a sort of horror. We had been so busy talking we hadn't even noticed her come up…and we both have to be pretty involved not to notice an enormous platter of food!

Kakarot smiles sunnily at the waitress as she begins setting plates on the table, trembling hard. I wonder idly if this is his act again, or if he really doesn't know that what we're talking about would probably be considered extremely disturbing to most humans. "Thanks, we're starved!" he chimes happily.

She tears her eyes away from him, and mutters something incoherent, daring a glance over at me. I smile slowly, revealing canines far longer than the average human's, and flick my tail at her. She gasps, and backs away from the table, scurrying like a frightened mouse into the back.

There are about fifteen minutes of busy silence and Kakarot and I work on devouring all the food in front of us. The waitress keeps her distance, and we finish blessedly uninterrupted. Kakarot sits back with a contented sigh.

"Were our parents marked?" he asks suddenly, smiling as I nod.

"Yeah, they were considered pretty…passionate, even by Saiyan standards," I admit. Kakarot directs the conversation back to before we were interrupted by food.

"So what was Vegeta so pissed about? I mean, if he was giving off this smell, and everybody involved has to be…" here he blushes and stammers, "i-in love and all."

I smile at him gently, snaking my tail out under the table to stroke soothingly along his thigh. "Not so comfortable with being in love with Vegeta?" I ask slyly.

"W-well, it's a lot to get used to." He sighs, and slides further down in his seat, sticking out one long leg to rest it on my bench, calf pressed warmly against my thigh. "I mean, it seems so fast! But then, maybe it isn't. I've known Vegeta for a long time now…I think maybe there was always something there." He turns his eyes down in a charmingly shy manner, and I pat his leg.

"Weren't you the one who told me you propositioned him before?" I ask carefully, and he nods slowly.

"Yeah, but I think that was more about sex…I mean, I wasn't willing to leave ChiChi for him, so it couldn't have been love, could it?" He seems puzzled himself.

"Maybe you weren't ready to deal with it, yet. I mean, being in love with another man, and with someone who seemed to hate you…" Kakarot had talked with me before about his previous relationship with Vegeta, how our cold prince always seemed angry with him, always wanting to challenge him to fight. I had snickered at the time, thinking what those signs would have looked like if Kakarot had been aware of Saiyan courting rituals…

"Maybe not. But I guess the whole question is rendered pretty moot now, huh?" he asks ruefully. "I mean, good old instincts sorta took care of all that."

"Yeah," I grin at him.

"So you never answered my question…what's Vegeta so mad about? Is he having a problem facing it all, too?"

This is the part I dread having to explain. "Partially…but it's more complex than that."

"All this Saiyan stuff is!" Kakarot exclaims in consternation, his tail flicking agitatedly under the table. I catch it neatly, and stroke it lightly. My brother immediately closes his eyes, and begins purring deep in his chest. He slowly rubs his bare foot along the outside of my thigh, and I, too, close my eyes at the touch. Lovely.

"It mostly has to do with who does the biting," I explain. "There's an implied…dominance…with being the biter."

"Dominance? Uh-oh…" Kakarot fixes me with a troubled black gaze, and I nod back to him.

"Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's not just dominance, there's a whole mix of things that go into it. Strength is part of it, but nowhere near the most important part. I've seen marked pairs in which the person bitten is much weaker, physically, than their partner. But they were definitely in charge of the relationship!" I laugh, thinking of my friend Shallot…she was worlds stronger than her husband, but he could quiet her with a look. And needed to often, as she was pretty loud mouthed. Both gone, now.

"So if it's not strength, what else is it?" My brother looks determined to learn everything he can about this.

"Well, another part of it is the need to protect. Which I guess probably plays a big part in our own thing with Vegeta...I mean, you've been the protector of the Earth for a long time, right? And I was raised knowing I was going to serve the prince some day. I was his guard when he was a kid, and now…" I sigh. "I guess that impulse never went away, if last night is any indicator."

"The problem being that Vegeta doesn't think he _needs_ protection," Kakarot comments wryly, and again, I have to re-evaluate him. He can be surprising insightful, at times.

"Yep. I have to ask…who initiated the relationship between you two, this time around?"

"Oh, it was me," Kakarot answers effortlessly. "I…uh, I got a little mad one night when he had been telling me how stupid I am again," here he rolls his eyes, "and I, uh…I kissed him."

"Remind me to piss you off more often," I grin darkly at him, gripping his tail more firmly, and giving it a little tug.

"Raditz!" he exclaims indignantly, a blush splashing to his cheeks.

"What?" I ask, all innocence as I stroke his tail firmly and watch him squirm in his seat.

"Not here!" He looks around frantically, and I relent with a laugh, settling for coiling the furry length around my wrist and continuing my explanation.

"Well, the one who bites is also usually the initiator in the relationship, the one who is more action oriented, at least as far as romance is concerned." My brother nods at that thoughtfully, moving his foot almost unconsciously from the outside of my thigh to rest between them, toes resting lightly over the zipper of my jeans. I raise my eyebrows at him, but he seems unaware of the whole situation.

"That must have really ticked him off," he muses, "That his own body betrayed him like that!"

I nod, shifting under his foot. "Yeah, and knowing Vegeta, he's taking it the worst way possible. If what you tell me is accurate, he's always had a bit of an inferiority complex when it comes to you. And me, well I'm not even in your guys' league, power level-wise! That I bit him, too…well…" I trail off awkwardly, shifting again, and Kakarot suddenly pushes his toes firmly against my groin. Okay, so maybe he _is_ aware of what he was doing.

But he just smiles at me, and presses for me to continue. "Well what?"

"He's my prince!" I exclaim. "I should have known better! It's royalty's right to claim whoever they want…and they're always the ones doing the marking. It was that way for King Vegeta, and his mother, and her mother. I'm nowhere near worthy enough…" I put my head in my hands, uncomfortably aware of the twin emotions of shame and arousal as Kakarot's tail slithers sinuously over my wrist.

"Raditz." I look up, and he smiles at me. "You don't really feel that way."

I think about that, honestly think and evaluate my emotions, and I realize he's right. I _don't_ really feel unworthy of Vegeta, it's more of a reflex thought from too many years ago. What I really think is that Vegeta's being his usual pain-in-the-ass self, and he's damn lucky to have my brother, and I ain't so bad a deal thrown into the whole mess. In fact, I'm a damn good deal. I saw the way those people were looking at me in the club…and more importantly, I saw how my prince was looking at me these last two nights.

"You're right, Kakarot," I decide, yanking demandingly on his tail. He laughs as he slips under the table, landing on his ass. Still chuckling, he slides back up on my side, next to me, and I address him seriously as he winds his tail around my waist. "But we both know Vegeta is going to pout for awhile before he gets used to this whole idea, so we should give him a few days to cool off."

Kakarot agrees, adding, "We better find somewhere else to stay for awhile, since we can't go back home…well, not home, it's Chichi's now, I guess. But we can't go back there, and we can't go back to Capsule Corps…"

I nod sagely, and contribute absolutely nothing as my brother thinks, except the feel of my tongue sliding roughly along the line of his jaw, my tail sneaking up the back of his shirt. "I know!" he exclaims suddenly, "We can use the Lookout! I haven't seen Dende in ages…"

I nod, not really paying attention, too distracted by the heady aroma of my brother's hair, still holding the pungent aroma of last night's sex. "Raditz!" he exclaims as I nibble at the back of his neck.

"What?" I ask around my mouthful. Snorting, he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. I arch an eyebrow in query, and he just shakes his head, smiling, and pulls me in for a deep kiss with lots of tongue. I lean happily into him, only vaguely registering the shocked and indignant noises from a few booths away.


	24. Twentythree

The Lookout is surprisingly boring, for being a god's house. Just a huge platform, and a few nice buildings: palatial in proportion, but nothing I haven't seen on Vegeta-sei. Kakarot pauses for a moment after we land, looking around.

"There should be-" he begins, then interrupts himself. "Ah, there!"

I turn to follow his gaze, and watch in consternation as a bloated black creature in a tiny vest and voluminous pants approaches. There's something disturbing about the exaggeration of his facial features; the enormous cherry lips and perfectly round eyes, no nose. 

"Mr. Popo," Kakarot greets this creature cheerfully, as the guiless face that I'm learning more and more is an act slips into place.

"Goku," greets the black thing, in a childish, strange voice. "What a surprise!"

My brother nods as Mr. Popo approaches, reaching out to clasp hands with him briefly. "Is Dende around?"

"Of course," Mr. Popo responds with equanimity. "Where else would he be?"

"True," Kakarot grins, rubbing the back of his head. "Where is he?"

"Oh, he's out in the gardens…do you know where they are?" Mr. Popo smiles as Kakarot nods. "If you don't mind, I'll let you find your own way, I have some things I need to get back to."

Then he turns to me, and executes a small bow. Kakarot laughs, and quickly introduces me. "Oh…ah, Mr. Popo, this is my brother, Raditz. Raditz, this is Mr. Popo, he lives here and helps Dende out."

I nod, a bit warily, and Mr. Popo bestows one of his creepy smiles upon me before excusing himself and wandering off. "What does he do around here?" I murmur to my brother as he leads me towards the ornate buildings.

"You know, I'm not exactly sure," Kakarot frowns. "I know he cooks when there're guests, but he must not at other times, because Nameks only drink water. Maybe he cleans or something…?" He trails off with a shrug.

"Is he human?" I ask curiously. I've never seen a human that looks like that, but then I don't have much experience with them.

"Mr. Popo? No…at least, I don't think so. He has a flying carpet. I always sort of figured he was a genie." I raise my eyebrows in question, and Kakarot tries to explain. "Um, genies are these guys, like spirits I guess, that live in bottles. They grant wishes."

"He grants wishes? Like the dragon?"

"Well, no, he doesn't, but he kind of looks like pictures of genies…" He shrugs again as he leads me through a high archway of carved white stone, into a verdant garden.

The foliage is thick here; graceful trees bow under the weight of their fruit, lush bushes speckled with tiny flowers of many colors give off a heady sweet aroma, thick, soft moss carpets the path and thick hedges wall in the large garden. Bees buzz sleepily, and the sun is filtered through layers of green.

"Dende?" Kakarot calls out as we follow a path marked out with terra cotta diamond-shaped paving stones.

The voice that answers is soft, gentle. "Goku? I'm back by the fountain."

My brother leads me through the garden and I rest my hand on his shoulder, closing my eyes and allowing the wild variety of scents here to envelop me. The proliferation is intoxicating; sharp green aromas, the warm baked smell of topsoil, a thread of fresh water cutting through it all, and everything overlaid with a heavy taste of floral. The mild tinkle of water falling into a stone basin filters through, and I open my eyes as we approach a small clearing.

A Namek sits with his back to us on a sun-warmed stone bench. He is smaller than Piccolo, though not small enough to be a child, I would guess. He wears a long robe of white, and I can see his sharp shoulder blades press through the thin fabric. Much more slender than Piccolo as well. As we duck under the overhanging branches of an old willow he stands gracefully, and turns with a smile.

"Hello Goku, Raditz," he greets us both with a slight inclination of his head, giving me a chance to further study him as my brother smiles brilliantly in his direction.

A fine-boned face, with wide dark eyes that seem impossibly young. His antennae arch over his brow in a relaxed position, and his ears are longer than Piccolo's, more pointed. Long, slender fingers gesture-

Wait a minute. "How did you know my name?" I ask suspiciously, and he smiles beatifically, not showing his teeth. I suppose the whole fangs thing would ruin his ethereal image.

"Who else could you be?" he asks in that breathy tone. Oddly, though, the combination of quiet, boyish voice and slender figure does not come across as feminine in any way. Strange, as Nameks are asexual, and these features should combine to appear womanly. Instead, he just seems somewhat otherworldly. Appropriate, for a god.

Dende is staring at me expectantly, and I realize I've just been staring at him for the last few moments. "I don't know…" I trail off. What kind of question is that, anyway?

"I try to keep myself informed," he relents. "I've known for quite some time that Goku wished his brother back, and of course, Piccolo has told me about you."

I had completely forgotten! Piccolo lives here too, sometimes. I wonder what he said about me. Dende pads across the moss carpet, and I notice his feet are bare. He holds out his hand to me as a human would, and I shake it. So delicate! It's hard to believe this person has so much power and influence.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you." The young Namek smiles up at me ingenuously, and I find myself smiling back, my tail swaying peacefully behind me. Dende removes his hand from mine, and turns to Kakarot.

"We saw the signs of you summoning the dragon once more," he continues. "What did you wish for this time?"

Grinning, Kakarot unwinds his tail from his waist, and waves it cheerfully at the Namek, who lights up in delight. "Ah, your tail has grown back! That was your wish?"

"Yeah," my brother admits, the much-mentioned appendage sneaking out to wrap the tip of my own tail. Dende watches this with some surprise, the frowns.

"But Goku, when the moon is full…" His face is filled with troubled worry.

"I can always stay inside when the moon is full," Kakarot hurries to reassure the Namek, and I can't repress the small growl that escapes from my throat. My brother turns to look at me, his hand immediately coming up to calmingly stroke at the small of my back. His face asks the question for him.

"It's not…natural," I answer somewhat reluctantly, watching Dende watch _us_, and then I turn back to a pair of black eyes that mirror my own. "Why would you resist the change?"

"Because I go berserk when I change," Kakarot explains. "I killed my adopted grandfather that way."

"I know, but-" I shake my head. How do I explain how wrong the idea of not changing when the moon is full seems to me? Sure, it's once a month here, as opposed to once every few years on Vegeta-sei, but that's a _good_ thing. "Why not just go somewhere uninhabited?" I ask finally. It's what I've been doing for the few days of the full moon, knowing my brother would disapprove of my squashing his neighbors.

"But I have no control-" he begins, and I cut him off with a snort.

"That's the whole _point_, Kakarot." Almost unconsciously, I reach out and capture his tail, ruffling my thick fingers against the lay of his fur. A small flush blooms in his cheeks. "To let go, to really run wild, let instinct take over…it's wonderful, little brother." I move in closer, lowering my voice. "You can't _imagine_ how it feels…"

"I can, I've done it before," he answers heatedly, and I smile at the rise in emotion.

"Only as a child. Never as an adult…it's a hundred times better," I purr intimately, pinning him with my eyes, and watching in satisfaction as his tongue ventures out to taste his upper lip.

"I don't know…" He stares back at me, moving a few inches closer. "What if…"

"Just try it once," I offer with a leer, sliding my hand up to the base of his tail. He nods wordlessly, then suddenly jumps back as the forgotten Namek clears his throat. I turn to look at the boy, and find a high flush of purple on his cheeks and strange expression on his face: a mix of shock and intense curiosity. He seems so young, but I know he should be about Gohan's age. Do Nameks age slower?

"J-just be careful, Goku," he cautions with a stutter.

"I've got my big brother to watch out for me," he answers in sudden confidence, smiling at me. Dende looks to me as well, his eyes wide and questioning. I figure it won't hurt to assuage his fears.

"I can teach him to control it…to an extent." The young Namek nods, his brow smoothing, and I have to admit I'm surprised. From my understanding, Kami was nowhere near this trusting.

"So, Dende, we're here to ask a favor of you, actually," Kakarot breaks in, moving forward to lean against the rim of the fountain's bowl. Dark eyes turn to my brother expectantly. "Um, we don't have anywhere to stay right now…"

"Oh, yes, I heard about you and Chichi." Dende casts his eyes down briefly. "I'm sorry."

"It was better for both of us, I think," Kakarot explains with a small sigh. "We married so young…and had kids right away, you know. Neither of us have really ever known anything else. I think…I think there're people out there who can be better for Chichi than me. I was gone so much…she deserves someone who can give her the attention she needs."

I listen to his little speech with a raised eyebrow, but am shocked at the next words that come out of the Namek's mouth. "And you need someone who understands what you are better." I scowl furiously, and Kakarot looks up, startled. He nods slowly, and Dende smiles that same infuriatingly calm smile. "I _am_ Guardian of the Earth, Goku. I'm _supposed_ to know these things."

"Uh…yeah," Kakarot says, nonplussed. "Anyways is it okay to stay here?"

"Of course. But why aren't you staying with Vegeta and Bulma?"

"That's a _long_ story," my brother responds, rubbing the back of his neck.

"If you're going to be staying with us, you have time," Dende reminds him gently. "But let's head back to the house," – I want to laugh at the reference to the palatial building as 'the house' - "and you can tell me there. I'm sure Mr. Popo will have prepared something for you to eat by now."

Kakarot's eyes light up, even though we just ate. He has a huge appetite, even for a Saiyan. I snort a laugh as I follow them back through the garden, down an unfamiliar path leading to a low archway into the building. Dende pauses here, and turns to me. I raise my eyebrows at him in question, tail flicking interrogatorily behind me.

"Piccolo is here," he begins softly. "I'm sure he would like to talk to you."

I blink, immediately searching my brother's face. He looks down at Dende as I ask, "What, right now?"

"I don't see why not." That damn smile again.

"Give us a minute, Dende?" Kakarot asks him, and the little Namek nods. "I'll meet you in the solarium, then, Goku." I watch him leave, his graceful walk making it appear almost as though he's floating along above the ground.

"Okay, so why don't you want to see Piccolo?" my brother asks me. He eyes my tail slashing the back of my thighs and grabs it, stroking the fur smooth. I let out a soft purr, closing my eyes briefly.

"I told you what happened last time," I reply, my voice lower than I would've liked. "He came on to me, and I yelled at him and left."

"What part of that worries you?" Kakarot asks, showing some of that insight he hides most of the time.

"Oh, hell, I don't know. I guess not the attraction bit…I mean, half of that was because I was completely frustrated, which no longer seems to be much of a problem." I open my eyes, grinning, and hook my arm around my brother's waist, pulling him close. He just looks up at me as I dip my head to lick a line along the side of his neck, but his tail wraps around my thigh in a friendly manner.

"What was the other half?" he murmurs into my ear, and I can hear the laughter dancing below the surface.

"Well, come on, Kakarot, you have to admit Piccolo is pretty damn hot!" I emphasize my point by biting down lightly on his collarbone. He shrugs, and I lean back for a minute to see the smile on his face. I could watch that face for days, and never get bored.

"I guess. I don't know, I never really thought of him that way." He's telling the truth, and I have to shake my head in wonder.

"Damn, little brother, you really _were_ repressing your Saiyan-ness just as hard as you could, huh?" He looks offended at that, and leans forward to bite me, hard, on the shoulder. 

"Ow!"

"Maybe green just doesn't do it for me," he snorts, and I have to laugh. "But what's the problem then?"

I sigh at his descent into seriousness again, and I shrug. "It's just…well, I really _like_ Piccolo. He's a good friend. I don't want this to screw that all up, you know? He was just someone I could sit back and shoot the shit with; I mean, we _understood_ each other."

"Piccolo?!" My brother looks genuinely confused now, and I frown.

"Yeah, Piccolo. Why?"

"Well, he's just so…so stand-offish. He's always meditating or training, always so serious. I can't imagine hanging around with him, or just talking." I think about that, nodding slowly.

"Yeah, probably he wouldn't with you. You guys used to be enemies, right?" Kakarot nods, but still seems confused.

"Yeah, we did, but he was _killed_ you."

I nod, thinking of a way to explain. "Well, it's like this: Piccolo himself is the kind of guy I would have gotten along with if we were on the same side. We had the same kinds of attitudes...then he merged with this Nail guy, and Kami, the old god of Earth, right? Both of whom are real serious, noble types, yah?"

Kakarot nods, and I continue. "So when he relates to you, he's probably using some of the Kami and Nail stuff, because you're this noble good guy, and his old personality didn't like you much. But with me, the old Piccolo likes me, so he relates to me different." I tilt my head to the side, and Kakarot absently brushes his fingers through my long hair. "Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, actually it does," he admits as I lean into his hand, like a cat. "But avoiding him isn't going to fix any of this…"

"I know, I have to talk to him eventually. But I was hoping not today. Besides, I still am attracted to him a bit, even if there's no danger of me jumping him." I turn my head, kissing Kakarot's palm wetly.

"Oh, I don't care if you have sex with him," Kakarot assures me, and I look up in surprise. "Really," he says, smiling at my expression. "You love me, right?"

"Of course!"

"And you love Vegeta?" I nod wordlessly. "So what's a little sex with a friend?"

"Kakarot, have you been smoking something?" It seems so out-of-character for him, this casual attitude towards sex. I mean, the guy was married for well over twenty years, never even cheated on his wife! Except for the thing with Vegeta…hmm.

"I know, it seems weird, doesn't it?" Kakarot grins ruefully. "I don't know how to explain it…but it's like, I just know I have nothing to worry about, you know? Like…like there's something inside me that's telling me there's nothing in the world that can threaten what's between us…" he trails off, looking a bit embarrassed. Damn, Kakarot looks so cute when he's being shy. I smile, and take his chin in my hand, tilting his face up to meet my eyes with his own.

"It's the bond," I explain, more pleased than I can express. "You can feel…" I trail off, then grab his hand and place it on my chest, over my heart. "You're right. I'll never leave you now that I've found you again, little brother."

He smiles up at me, that sunny, brilliant expression of pure joy that brings his face to life. "That's okay then," he says softly, and I lean down to lightly brush my lips over his, a chaste kiss that quickly turns into something deeper, passion flaring between us. I pull away slightly breathless, and see the heat I know is rising in my cheeks reflected in Kakarot's face.

"Okay," he says. "So you go find Piccolo and work whatever it is out that you need to, and I'll try and explain to Dende exactly why it is I'm sleeping with my brother and the guy who tried to blow up the Earth once or twice."

I laugh, despite myself, a low rumbling noise that's soon joined by my brother's higher pitched chuckles. We clasp forearms, and wish each other luck simultaneously. We're both going to need it.


	25. Twentyfour

It takes me a while, wandering through the halls of Dende's place…palace? I guess. Anyways, I suppose I could have sped the whole process up by searching for Piccolo's ki, but I need a little time to myself first. Things have been moving so fast lately, and while I'm mostly happy with the direction they're going, it's still all a bit overwhelming. So I roam through the massive place, happening across little nooks filled with plants, spacious rooms draped with rich silks and other fabrics, and graceful, open roofed atriums.

I wonder idly why Dende needs all this room. Kakarot's told me before that it's just him and Mr. Popo, and Piccolo sometimes. This place is big enough for a hundred guests, and it's all laid out almost as confusingly as Bulma's house. I peer into a room shrouded in darkness that holds a glittering pool of water in the middle that pulses disturbingly. Later I find a long storage room holding bottles and jars full of unknown unguents, salves, and potions. Something swims restlessly in a large vase of green glass, hidden in the murky liquid. One room is filled with birds, of all shapes and colors, flittering around restlessly, some singing beautifully.

I finally find Piccolo in the middle of a huge circular room that is free of furnishing or decoration. The stone walls are a dusty off-white, and the floor is covered in a thin layer of pale sand. My friend floats cross-legged, six or seven feet off the floor. His eyes are closed, his hands resting palm up on his thighs. Instead of his usual indigo gi, turban, and cape, he wears a pair of flowing white pants, and a sleeveless robe in deep twilight purple, falling to mid-thigh. The robe hangs open, revealing the rich green of his chest.

I pad in as quietly as I can, tail swinging curiously behind me as I sniff around the room. Smells like sour sweat, under the tickle of the sand. Practice or training room? Probably. Still, Piccolo doesn't open his eyes as I circle behind him, and walk up to the wall, running my fingertips over the rough sandstone. The sound of cloth rippling in the air and a slight twinge in my tail is the only warning I get.

I feel strong hands seize me by the shoulders, and suddenly I'm flying through the air towards the far wall. The lack of the Namek in the center of the room as I pass through it rapidly is my second clue that Piccolo is probably the one that threw me. I twist in the air and launch off the wall with my feet, landing in a crouch.

Piccolo has stripped himself of the robe, and stands there bare-chested. _Grinning_ at me, his arms crossed arrogantly. I feel my heart beat faster as I grin back, and them I'm launched for him. He dodges to the side neatly, but I snag a wrist with my tail in passing, and as I land I _yank_ as hard as I can, flipping him over onto his back. I stomp down, aiming for his chest, but he rolls quickly, and uses my tail to bring me crashing to the ground.

Ah, I missed this! I unwrap my tail quickly, snaking it out of his grasp as I come back up into another crouch. He's already on his feet, and we collide mid-air, exchanging a flurry of punches and kicks. He gets a solid one in to my thigh, and I curl forward in pain, managing a good, heavy blow to his stomach, knocking the air out of him. He flies backwards, and I follow up with a kick to the head that misses by a mile as he ducks out of the way and grabs my ankle, swinging me around and sending me thundering into the wall.

A spider web of cracks marks where I hit, but I'm no longer there, as I appear behind Piccolo with a laugh, double-fisting a punch to the small of his back. I _love_ moving that fast, knowing most of the weaklings on this planet couldn't even follow it. It's absolutely delicious to hear the air sleet past my ears, to move almost faster than I can think.

The Namek takes the blow with a grunt, and flies to the other side of the practice room. I follow, tail lashing in anticipation, then pause in astonishment as Piccolo groans, and splits himself into two with a wet noise. I've heard that he can do this, but I've never actually seen it before. It's fascinating, in a train wreck kinda way, and I consequently let my guard drop too far. I pay for it with a dual punch to either side, one hitting my kidneys dead on as the two Piccolos move in for another flurry of blows.

Careless. I won't let it happen again, and move smoothly back into the now of combat, not thinking, just reacting and moving, dodging and weaving almost unconsciously. And to my great delight, I find that I can avoid two opponents almost as easily as one. I let myself fall into a pattern of avoidance, until…there!

Dodging one blow to my face, I duck under one of the Piccolo's guard, wrapping my large hands around his waist. My tail lashes out in the opposite direction, catching the other Namek around the thigh. And with one quick heave, I smash the two into each other, forcing absorption, so that now I have only one Piccolo pinned awkwardly at waist and thigh. With no thought I follow up, driving him into the ground powerfully, straddling his legs and pinning his arms above his head.

"You give?" I growl down at him, tail waving excitedly behind me.

He simply grins up at me, arches his back and…head-buts me, right between the eyes. I fall back with little white flashes swirling around my peripheral vision, but I keep ahold of his legs. He takes the opportunity to sit up, and grabs two great handfuls of my hair, trying to pry me off. I grin ferally and hang on tighter.

And then I bite him. Hard. On the upper thigh.

Who knew Piccolo could yelp like a little girl? He abruptly releases my hair, and I clamber to my feet, staring down at him. "Why do you always have to fight like an animal?" he growls at me in irritation.

I offer him a hand up. "Because I _am_ an animal," I respond with a smile as he refuses my hand and gets to his feet slowly, dusting off those voluminous white pants. Man, Piccolo is always a sore loser.

"You've gotten better," he comments as he stalks over to his robe, leaning over to scoop it off the floor. I take the opportunity to admire his ass. Not as good as Vegeta's, but still a nice view.

"Mmmhmm," I say idly, missing him looking over his shoulder at me. The loud snort of disbelief causes me to flick my ears back up to my face. Uh-oh, he looks ticked.

"Are you staring at my ass?" he asks indignantly, and I smile guilelessly.

"Who me?"

"No, the pervert in the corner. Of course you! Kami, but you sound just like Goku sometimes…"

I think about that as he turns away from me and starts for the door. I follow, frowning. "Isn't it kind of odd to swear by…well, by yourself?"

"I'm not the guardian anymore. Dende is." He glances at me as I catch up, walking next to him and wiping some sweat from my face.

"Yeah, but Kami is a part of you, right?"

"In a way." He sighs a bit. "It's complicated."

I nod sagely, then sling my arm companionably over his shoulders. He looks over, dark eyes hooded, but mouth curled in an uncomfortable expression. "What are you doing?" he asks tersely.

"Missed you," I explain. "Where're we going?"

"Not far," he responds obliquely. His shoulders are tense under my arm, and I sigh, rolling my eyes as I release him. 

"I swear, you Nameks are so fucked up."

"And you know this from your years of experience with my people?" he snorts, and I grin.

"Nah, just from you. Though Dende's kinda freaky, too."

"Freaky?" he raises one brow ridge questioningly, lips pursed, and I laugh again, scrubbing my hands through my mass of hair.

"Nice, though. Wouldn't last two seconds on Vegeta-sei."

"Hmph." He doesn't seem inclined to continue to conversation, so we walk in easy silence. At least, easy on my end. That quick spar went a long way to assuaging most of my nerves. This is _Piccolo_, after all, and he seems back to himself, none of that weird vibe from our last encounter.

He leads me into another one of those spacious rooms with wide, open windows and white walls. The windows have odd arches at the top, and strange curlicues and patterns carved into the walls. Unlit oil lamps of graceful, fluted brass and glass hang from the ceiling. The floor here is a delicate pattern of small tiles, and a small table sits next to one of the open windows, low to the ground. A steaming tea service rests on the table, and I raise my heavy eyebrows in surprise as Piccolo moves over to the table.

"Tea?" I ask in surprise, and he smiles, close-mouthed.

"Dende is rather fond of it. I'm afraid I've developed something of a habit." He settles on the pile of pillows surrounding the table; there are no chairs here. I sprawl gratefully, turning my head into the gentle breeze wafting in the window. It's another of those little gardens, much smaller than the one Kakarot and I found Dende in, but with a small birdbath set up in the center.

"I thought you only drank water."

"Well, tea really isn't much more than that, is it?" Indeed, sniffing the pot curiously reveals that the blend is rather weak. A bit spicy and something…fruity? I taste it curiously, drinking from the pot and earning an eye-roll from Piccolo.

"Huh. Weak as piss," I declare, just to see Piccolo scowl at me as he pours himself a cup.

"Then don't drink it," he growls, and I grin back at him, laying back on the pillows and folding my arms behind my head, propping myself up slightly with the wall. I flicker my tail through the cushions, enjoying the luxurious feel of silk and velvet against my fur. 

"Nice place you got here, "I comment, and receive a non-committal noise from the Namek. "This your room?"

"No."

"Wow, just can't shut you up today, huh?" I grin lazily over at him, and he sips his tea, not answering. I give up, half-closing my eyes and simply enjoying the feel of the sun filtering in through the window and the delicate scent of flowers and water that wafts in on the breeze.

After about ten minutes of this, Piccolo's voice drifts through my relaxed haze. "Something's happened to you." I slide my eyes along the wall to look over at him. He's simply sitting there cross-legged, his face blank and unreadable.

"Yes," I reply simply.

"With Vegeta." Again, I nod. He looks out the window, black eyes glittering in the soft sunlight. "I'm sorry."

I blink, trying to process that. "For what, Vegeta?"

He shakes his head impatiently, still not looking at me. "For…before. It was…inappropriate."

Inappropriate. How very Piccolo. I snort, and lean back again. "S'ok."

Another long silence. I guess neither of us are really big talkers right now. "Piccolo?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you still want to?"

I carefully keep my face turned away from him as I wait for his answer. His voice is cautious. "Still want to have sex? Why?"

"Why?" I can't help but let a little laugh escape. "I dunno, partially curiosity, partially because I think I would enjoy it. I don't know if I should, though."

"Because of Vegeta."

I nod seriously. "Kakarot has already said he would be okay with it. But Vegeta's generally not so eager to share. He's very important to me."

"You're in love with him."

"Always have been, I think sometimes," I agree, and risk a look over at the Namek again. His head is bowed somewhat, his face hidden in shadow. His antennae jut from his forehead, lit by the gentle glow of the sunlight. He really is quite attractive in a weird, alien sort of way.

"Then this isn't a conversation we should be having," he replies softly.

"Mm. You're probably right." I let out a long breath. "Still, it's fun to think about, isn't it?"

He snorts, and I grin up at the ceiling. And that's it. Everything seems to be settled right there. By all rights, there should have been this long, convoluted conversation, and everything should have been awkward, and fucked up afterward. But Piccolo and I understand each other, I think.

I want to have sex with him. He's still curious and wouldn't be averse. But neither of us really want to screw with Vegeta, for different reasons. And so, for now, it isn't going to be an issue. I nod internally at the decision I come to. When things are settled with Vegeta, though, then this whole thing is gonna be re-opened. For now, I'm just glad to have my friend back. I roll over onto my side to look at him, propping my head on my palm.

He lifts his head to look back at me, and I see an equal understanding in those dark eyes, so different from Saiyan black. He smiles, then, too, just a little quirking of the corner of his lips. He hides it behind his teacup, then, and I turn to look back out the window.

"So what does your brother have to do with anything?" he asks suddenly, and I laugh, wondering how to explain this.

"Well…huh. It's a kind of long story. I'm not sure you'd understand…"

"You're lovers now?"

I blink at him in utter astonishment, my tail flicking surprise in the warm air. "Uh…yeah."

He laughs, then, that low, gravelly sound that is by far his most intriguing feature. "Don't look so shocked, Raditz. Incest is a human taboo, not a Namekian one." I raise my eyebrows as he continues. "Of all the Namek left, I am the only one who is not related in some way."

"What do you mean?"

"All of the Namek share a father. Dende and Nail are brothers, as are all the other Namek of a certain age. Kami left before the disaster that wiped out most of Namek, then Guru set about repopulating afterwards. So any children that those Namek would have would all be cousins as well." 

"Oh." Huh, that's a new one on me. I scratch my head. "So me and Kakarot-"

"Don't bother me, no. I wouldn't suggest letting ChiChi know, however." I wince as I imagine what my sister-in-law would do, but it brings up a more important topic, something that has been bothering me for a bit.

"How do you think Goten and Gohan will react?" He sighs, and shrugs broad shoulders.

"Honestly? I don't know. Gohan may have an easier time with it…he's experienced more than his younger brother, and I think has a more open mind. However, he's also immersed himself in a more human lifestyle than Goten, now." He rubs the base of one antennae thoughtfully.

I nod. "True…I can't see Goten taking it well at all."

He agrees. "Goten is very close to his mother, and not as close to Goku, despite their looks. Goku simply wasn't around for most of his childhood, and ChiChi was. He might see you as breaking up their family, which won't be good."

I sigh softly, gazing blindly out the window. "I think you're right. Goten is going to be seriously pissed off at me, at best. I really like that kid, too. I hope this doesn't fuck everything up."

"Would you give up this new relationship with Goku for them?" Piccolo asks carefully.

"It's not a matter of choice," I explain to him, spreading my hands. "Though, even if it was, I don't think so. But we're forming a bond, now…to give it up would hurt both of us, very badly."

"All you can do is explain it them that way, then. And hope for the best." I nod solemnly, my thoughts suddenly plunged into a gloomy pallor that I had hoped to avoid, at least for a little while. Sensing my shift in mood, Piccolo stands abruptly. "Let's go find Goku."

I stand gratefully, offering a weak smile. "Thanks for talking, Piccolo." He just nods formally back at me, and I snort, pulling him into a quick, fierce embrace. "Weirdo Namek," I say affectionately, and he snorts, smacking me on the back of the head.

"Idiot Saiyan."


	26. Twentyfive

I collapse back in another nest of those ubiquitous pillows, chuckling quietly to myself. Kakarot glances back at me, his tail flicking in irritation. "I don't think it's that funny, Raditz," he chides me, coaxing another spurt of laughter.

"Come on, Kakarot," I gasp, "You really don't think it's funny that you couldn't tell the difference between men and women when you were a kid?"

"I was living in the woods with just my grandfather for years!" he protests. "I had brain damage! Cut me some slack!"

I just shake my head, and appeal to Dende. "Come on, don't you think that's funny?"

The slight Namek merely smiles, tilting his head to the side. "It does seem unusual, yes," he agrees cautiously, having learned throughout the course of the day that Saiyans are nothing if not unpredictable. Piccolo snorts, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Ah, everyone's against me," I complain, idly stroking along the lay of my brother's tail. He closes his eyes blissfully as I continue. "You people are all freaks of nature, anyway. I'm the only normal one here."

"Normal?!" Piccolo asks in disbelief, and I smile smugly at him.

"What, you got a problem with that assessment?" He simply shakes his head at me in disbelief. I close my eyes, resting one hand lightly over my stomach. Nothing better than a full stomach on a night like tonight…I want to purr with contentment as I feel Kakarot lean back, nestling his head against my shoulder. I lightly run my fingers through his hair, cracking one eye open as I hear a hastily cleared throat.

Piccolo is blushing an embarrassed purple, while Dende watches me and Kakarot in undisguised interest. "It's getting late," the older Namek announces suddenly, standing. Dende looks up at him uncomprehendingly.

"It isn't really all that late," he protests as I coil my tail with Kakarot's, nuzzling at the top of his head lightly. I love the smell of my brother's hair, like rain.

"I think these two are ready for bed," Piccolo tries again, but Dende seems to be purposefully dense tonight as he glances back at us again.

"Oh, are you tired?" he asks solicitously. "You don't seem to be…"

I manage a leer at the older Namek as Kakarot noses insistently at my neck. "Nah, not really tired, but maybe we _should_ go to bed," I allow to Dende, sitting up a bit with a protesting murmur from my brother, who promptly latches on to my tail. I find myself staring blankly out the window as little shivers of pleasure run up my spine, and I know I must look like a complete idiot as my mouth hangs open.

"That's a good idea," Kakarot purrs behind me, pleased at my reaction. He runs his hand up to the base of my tail, gripping lightly and scratching with his thumbnail.

"Yeah," I breathe out, and Dende sighs with some disappointment, standing and dusting his robes off.

"Well, I suppose we'll have time to talk more in the morning," he smiles, and I have to wonder how much of the subtext the kid is catching. I mean, is he fascinated by me and Kakarot because of the outrageous flirting that's been going on between us all day, or is it simply that he doesn't get much company up here? "Come on, I'll show you to your rooms."

"Rooms?" I ask stupidly, my thoughts again derailed by an enthusiastic caress from my wicked, wicked brother.

"Yes?" Dende answers, raises his eye-ridges. "You didn't think you would be sleeping out here, did you?"

"Uh…" I grab my brother's hand and firmly pull it away from the tail. He chuckles warmly behind me, sitting up himself and leaning into my side, a pleasant weight. "I mean, we don't need more than one room."

"You would prefer to sleep together? Oh, all right then." Dende's smile is that same serene expression. I'm guessing he really doesn't get it. I stand and Kakarot follows, scrubbing one hand through his unruly ebon spikes.

Piccolo bids us goodnight, and Dende leads us through more of those open, white hallways until we come to an arched doorway, covered with a hanging drape. Inside is an enormous, low bed, covered with pillows and a rich red velvet coverlet. It has a canopy, and gauzy drapes surrounding it. I stifle a snicker…poor kid probably has no idea this looks like a high-class prostitute's boudoir.

"Thanks, Dende," Kakarot says to our young guide, and he smiles up brilliantly at my brother.

"Of course, Goku. It's a pleasure to have your company for awhile. Pleasant dreams, you two!" The young Namek slips out of the room with a cheerful wave. I turn to regard my brother, who stretches and yawns very deliberately.

"Boy, I'm tired!" he exclaims, looking at me innocently with our father's eyes. "Well, let's go to bed."

I snort, snagging my tail around his waist. "I think there's something else we need to do first…"

He unwinds my tail lazily. "Oh, not tonight, I really just want to go to sleep…" He grins merrily at my little exclamation of disgust, ducking away as I grab for him.

"You son of a bitch-!" Laughing, he keeps backing away from me, dancing gracefully out of my reach. Snarling, I leap, tackling him to the bed and grabbing his wrists, pinning them above his head. He grins toothily up at me, then heaves his lower body, sending me flipping over his head to land flat on my back. Wrenching his wrists out of my grip, he's suddenly straddling me, with a familiar gleam in his eyes.

"Who says you always get to be on top?" he purrs down at me, and I fight the urge to arch and moan as he settles his delicious weight over my groin. I'll be damned if I'm going to let my _little_ brother get the best of me in the bedroom.

"Always?" I ask dubiously. "I _never_ get to be on top," I add, as I shift my hips, rolling Kakarot off me with a startled squawk, and pressing on top of him once more. "Besides, who's the older brother here?"

"Yeah, but I'm stronger than you," Kakarot points out, unnecessarily, as it happens because he shoves me off him and further back onto the vest expanse of the bed, proving his point. This time he lays himself full out against me, weighing my entire body down.

"But _I_-" I point out to him, rolling my body a bit to grind my now pressing erection up against his, coaxing a low moan out of him, "-am more experienced." I strain upward to lick lingeringly along the side of his neck, and he collapses on top of me bonelessly, allowing me to roll him to the side so that we lie flush up against each other on our sides, chest to chest.

"Point taken," he gasps as I move down to nuzzle along the firm flesh of his throat, my left hand rubbing firm circles against his hip. I free my other to trail teasing fingertips along his upper thigh.

"Seriously, Kakarot," I murmur into his throat, "Will you let me show you?" For all that he's being screwing Vegeta for a few weeks now, I have the feeling he's still uninitiated in the some of the pleasures of the male body. From what I've heard, Vegeta hasn't been exactly free with his affections in the years he's been on Earth, so he's probably a little rusty in that department. And Kakarot has only ever been with Chi-Chi and Vegeta.

He nods wordlessly, staring at me with those open dark eyes I love so much. I move back a bit to study his face, tracing one fingertip along the line of a high cheekbone. I tug on the bottom of his t-shirt, urging him to take it off as I undo the button fly on his jeans. His clothes are quickly taken care of, and I shrug out of mine as well, eager to begin. I glance to the side of the bed briefly, though I doubt that a Namek would keep anything like oil or a lubricant at the bedside. What would they use it for? To my surprise, however, I spot a graceful fluted crystal container with some sort of amber liquid inside. A quick sniff determines that it is indeed some sort of oil. Bingo. Kakarot's been teasing me all _day_, damn it, and I intend to make him pay now.

"Lay back," I instruct, and he does so a bit hesitantly. Gods, but my brother is amazing, all creamy flesh covering thick muscle, rosy nipples standing to attention with the slight chill of the night breeze trickling in the window. His cock twitches slightly, thick and a lovely plum with a glistening tip that just begs to be sucked. But there'll be time enough for that later…

"You are so beautiful," I tell him, quirking a grin at the slow flush that rises in his cheeks.

"Vegeta tells me that, too," he whispers. "I don't know why…"

"You honestly don't?" I ask in some surprise. Surely, he can't be that ignorant of his perfect body and handsome face.

"I'm nothing special, looks-wise," he says, and I snort.

"Guess I'll have to convince you otherwise," I decide, kneeling at his feet and trailing my fingers in small circles over his ankles. He shivers slightly under my touch.

"That tickles a little," he complains softly, and I smile, rubbing my thumbs firmly into the arch of his feet. "Ohhh…that's nice…" I continue the soft massage, rubbing his toes and the balls of his feet before stroking the arches gently and then moving up to his calves.

My fingers work carefully at the firm muscle, kneading it soothingly as I lean over his legs. A rumbling purr greets my ears, and I smile to myself as I work my way over his knees and to his thighs. I knead the large muscles here a bit harder, bent over in concentration. I hear a soft gasp from Kakarot, and raise my head in surprise. This is supposed to feel good, but…?

Oh, my hair's brushing against his leaking erection. His hips rock forward impatiently, pressing himself into my hair, and I sit back on his legs. He moans in disappointment as I tease him, "Not yet…"

"Raditz!" He looks up at me with lust-clouded eyes, partially sitting up, and I press my hand firmly into his chest, pushing him back down. I turn back to his thighs, massaging the muscles and spreading his legs slightly to rub softly along his inner thighs. I lick lightly at the sweat-dappled skin here, where the taste and smell of my brother is overwhelming. I can't resist nipping slightly, and Kakarot moans again in response.

I swipe my tongue closer and closer to his begging erection, still ignoring it fastidiously. Instead, I pay extra attention to the crease in his thighs, then nibble agonizingly slowly up his hipbones. He thrusts his hips forward in supplication, but I pull back, grinning and licking my lips. "I said, not _yet_," I remind him, now biting along the line of one hip, thumb rubbing the other in counterpoint.

I continue working my way up his body, taking care to hold myself far enough above him that his cock is left weeping for attention. His ribs are thoroughly licked and explored, his stomach equally attended to. His nipples I suck practically raw, biting and laving enthusiastically, sending him into a paroxysm of moans and pleas.

"Oh…Kami…Raditz, please…_please_!…I need…"

"Shh," I soothe as I lap at his throat, stretching my mouth wide to bite the thick column of it. It's so terribly tempting to just let my weight drop now and rub up against him, but I resist, knowing it will be far more rewarding when I do finally get there. I snake out my tongue to sooth behind his ear, turning his head to the side to bit lightly along the back of his neck, when sweat drips from his thick hair.

I move back down, this time letting my hair trail down his chest. From what Vegeta told me, so long ago, it feels like heavy warm silk being dragged across the skin. Not that I've ever felt warm silk, but from the smug little grin my prince used to get, I had the feeling it was a good thing.

It seems Kakarot agrees, because his spine curves as he presses up into my hair, threading his fingers through it as I trail my tongue down his body again. I trace eight furrows down his chest with my nails and he groans throatily. Finally, I am faced with his thick arousal once more, and I smile to myself as I swallow him whole.

It's like someone put a live wire to the base of his spine; his entire body arches up, his muscles clenching, and he makes the most lovely growl that breaks into a high-pitched noise halfway through. I relax my throat and take him all in, swallow around his length. His head thrashes back and forth as I pull off again, this time just teasing the tip with a light flicker of my tongue before plunging back down again.

As I tend to the hard length in my mouth, Kakarot sets up a steady series of moans and pants, his head arched back and his eyes squeezed shut at the intensity of the sensation. I love the feel of his cock down my throat; there's something purely wanton about sucking someone this way and wringing such an enthusiastic response from them. It feels powerful, and I realize, suddenly, that here is something I'm better at than either Kakarot or Vegeta.

I move my hands down to push his legs farther apart, and he complies easily. I suck his balls into my mouth, roll them around on my tongue as I stroke his cock slowly, almost lazily. I them move my thumb to press lightly against the spot just below his balls, eliciting a whole new series of groans from him. I sit up quickly and grab the vial of oil, grinning at Kakarot who murmurs a wordless question at me, black eyes open now and swimming in unfulfilled lust.

I drizzle the oil over my fingers, my brother watching me with wide eyes. I lean over to engulf his cock with my mouth once more and he falls back, sighing and panting again. Working the oil over my fingers, I slide their slippery surface along his balls, underneath, and back to his hole, where I press against the muscle very lightly, circling the puckered open gently.

"What-?" Kakarot gasps, staring at the canopy above him sightlessly.

I mumble for him to be quiet around his erection, which has pretty much the same effect as if he understood what I was saying, if not better. He immediately squeezes his eyes shut, and fists his hands in my hair, rolling his hips eagerly and shoving himself further down my throat. 

I continue rubbing at his puckered hole, finally pushing one finger slowly in as I deep throat Kakarot's cock. I can tell from the noises he's making that he's confused, but still enjoying it. He's so hot, so tight around my finger, I want to sit up and just plunge into him right now. But I promised to show him how good all of this can feel, and I intend to keep that promise.

I flex my finger slightly inside him as I continue to bob my head up and down, looking for that one spot…a sudden howl tells me I'm successful as Kakarot sits straight up and proceeds to come violently inside my mouth. I swallow quickly, pulling back as I feel the twitching against my lips finally slow.

And it's a delirious sight indeed, to see Kakarot staring down at me in almost-shock, his lips red and swollen where he's been licking and biting at them, his eyes still hazy with desire and aftershock. I roll over onto my side, still lazily stroking his inner thighs and massaging his hole lightly as he struggles to regain his breath.

"What was that?" he finally manages to grind out, and I smile knowingly.

"I don't know what humans call it," I answer, nuzzling along his hips. "Good, though, isn't it?"

"That- I've never had anyone do that before," he blinks down at me owlishly, I lick my lips wickedly.

"If you ask real nice, I'll do it again, but better," I purr, and he raises his eyebrows.

"It can get better?"

"Mmhm," I answer, nipping at the line of his hipbone, noting with a smug smile his erection renewing itself slowly.

"How?"

"I'll just have to show you," I say, and he nods slowly. "Lay back again, then," I direct, pulling a few pillows from the head of the bed to tuck under his hips. I turn my attention back to his ass, rubbing in more of the oil that has a very, very faint floral scent. Massage oil or something, possibly. I still can't figure out what Dende or Piccolo would want with it. Then again, maybe the last Guardian was a real pervert and had all sorts of weird guests. I stifle a chuckle and turn my attention back to my brother.

Stroking his thighs soothingly, I pour a little more oil along his hardening cock and rub it down in between his legs. Pushing my finger carefully back in, sitting up this time, I can watch Kakarot's face. His eyes narrow at the unfamiliar sensation, but his pulls his legs apart even wider.

Very gently I begin to slide my finger in and out, getting him used to the sensation. He watches me with those half-lidded eyes, and again, I am struck by his beauty. I add a second finger and he flutters his eyes closed again, letting out a small grunt. I let them rest inside him for a moment to allow him to adjust, and he signals me to move again by pushing down a little bit.

Again, I slide them in and out, and now Kakarot is fully hard, a crimson flush rising through that pale-cream skin, along his chest and the muscled lines of his stomach, blooming in his sweat-streaked face. "More," he whispers to me.

"Are you sure?" I ask, not wanting to go too fast, wanting to make this perfect for him. He nods, opening his eyes again. Totally trusting, his look is, and I feel a strange ache in my heart that he is allowing me this. I take him at his word, and add a third finger, stretching and preparing him.

Finally, I think he's ready, and I pull back, leaving him mewling with disappointment. I brush his hair back from his face as I pour more oil in my hand and attend to my own neglected cock. It aches with longing now, and I dare not spend too long spreading the oil or I'm going to come all over Kakarot right here. A few quick strokes and I'm ready.

I roll Kakarot over on to his side, and spoon up behind him. He turns his head to look at me, and again, I'm caught by the unflinching trust in his face. I hook his leg over mine, and position myself at his entrance, hesitating.

"Do it," he urges me on, and I slide in slowly, half-seating myself. Kakarot arches with a groan, and I freeze. "Burns," he hisses, and I start to pull back, but he stops me with a hand on my hip. "Don't…just…give me a second…" His brow furrows as he concentrates, but slowly he relaxes. I'm grateful for the reprieve myself, for the time to get my raging desire under control.

"Move," he demands suddenly, and when I don't sink in fast enough, he pushes back against me until I'm buried.

"Oh Gods," I groan, as I bury my face in his hair. He's so amazingly hot, and it's been so long since I've done this. I've forgotten how incredible this feels, being sheathed in another person. I gasp into his neck as I pull out an inch or so then sink back into to that scorching heat. Our tails twine over Kakarot's raised thigh, snaking violently.

"Move," he says again, and I pull my head back to study him.

"Are you sure?" I breath, and he nods impatiently.

"I'm so…you're…it feels so full. You have to-" He seems unable to find the words, but I understand. I remember my first time, too. And so I pull out almost all the way before plunging back in with a long stroke.

Kakarot's face contorts with pleasure, and he cries, "Again!" I comply eagerly, my own body still under control, but not for much longer. A few more of those long strokes and I'm practically sobbing at the exquisite torture of it all.

"Kakarot, I can't-" I try to tell him, and he throws his head back with a throaty groan. He seems to understand perfectly well, however, and thrusts his hips back roughly, forcing a much more demanding pace out of me.

I let go with a growl, shoving into him wildly, gripping his hips hard enough to bruise as that terrifying heat engulfs me. He moves with me, and we push against each other erratically as I use the last shreds of my self-control to grab his cock and start fisting it brutally. 

I hear his voice, ~pleasepleasepleaseohpleaseKamipleaseohplease!~, a constant stream of supplication, and I thrust even harder, until he can no longer beg, only let out a wordless moan that mixes in deliciously with my own continuous growl and the wet slapping sounds of flesh on flesh.

I feel his body tense beneath me and a sudden spurt of burning liquid across the back of my hand. I can feel him clench around me, and the pressure urges me to blow out most of my brains through my cock as I come inside him, calling his name in answer to his own needy recitation of mine.

We lay there for a few moments, panting and gasping, our bodies soaked with sweat and other liquids, still twined with each other but utterly unable to move. Finally, Kakarot makes the great effort to roll over to face me, his hands resting at my waist, mine wrapping him to me, our tails flopped exhausted over our legs.

~Raditz?~ he asks, in a thoroughly sated voice. Hmm, I think I like this sound from him.

~Yeah?~ I answer, blinking slowly at him.

~Raditz!~ he says again, this time more insistent.

~What?~ I answer, mildly annoyed, then I realize…

~Raditz, we're not talking out loud!~


	27. Twentysix

It's funny how quickly a week can pass, even if you haven't got that much to do. But our stay in the Lookout goes past a few days, and all of a sudden it's been a week, and Kakarot and I are starting to get irritable, snapping at each other like restless dogs. I know it's because we're missing someone. Vegeta should be here, and we both feel the emptiness in our heads where he's supposed to be.

I have to admit, I expected him to maybe show up before now. After all, we haven't been hiding where we are or anything. Wistfully, I wonder if our prince is just as irritable. But how would anyone be able to tell? I snicker to myself at the thought of Vegeta being even more of a pain in the ass than usual. But it's definitely time to return to Earth and our unfinished business.

~Finally!~ Kakarot agrees.

Not that the last week hasn't been…well, fun. Kakarot and I have spent almost all of our time training, often with Piccolo joining in. With that kind of focused attention, I've felt myself getting stronger faster than I ever imagined possible. Not that I'm anywhere near a match for Kakarot or Vegeta, but I know I'm the strongest I've ever been. I can beat Piccolo pretty consistently and my body just sings to me now. Fighting every day: it's been wonderful. Almost like being home again.

~Kakarot, with you at Vegeta's side, the Saiyans could have taken over all of Frieza's empire, expanded it, even,~ I think to my brother, off somewhere talking with Dende. I can feel his amused assent through our bond, though he doesn't really understand why anyone would _want_ to have their own empire. That's okay, I think Vegeta has enough ambition for all of us put together.

More and more frequently the past week, Kakarot and I have found each other following the other's thoughts almost unconsciously, whether we're doing something else or not. Kakarot is like a running commentary in the back of my mind, sometimes distracting, but mostly comforting. It's nice to be able to tap into that whenever, and I know he does the same. 

It's solved some mysteries for me, too. I still don't fully understand the way my brother thinks; I'm not sure I ever will. We're too different in some fundamental ways. But at least I know now whether that whole naivete thing is an act or not. Not surprisingly, the answer is more complicated than I expected.

Kakarot is far from stupid. He has a quick mind, quicker than mine in some ways. But it's also a little unfocused: my brother is a creature of impulse. He tends to jump from thought to thought, rarely actually analyzing anything, or even thinking it through fully. If it sounds like a good idea to him, then it's a good idea, and he's ready to act on it. Luckily, he has good instincts, and is often right, but still, it can lead to some startling mistakes.

He _is_ a little bit ignorant when it comes to social interactions. He spent so much of his childhood mostly alone, or with only one or two other people - it left him a little behind the game when it comes to some of the complexities of life. Then he lived out in the woods with only his wife and son. He's not always the best judge of what people mean, and sometimes misses the subtleties of conversation. It's not so much that he's stupid, simply that he's used to interpreting whatever anyone says in the most straightforward possible manner.

He's also an eternal optimist, not much given to depression or despair. I always _was _the brooder in our family, got that from our mother. Kakarot, on the other hand, has a tendency to overestimate both others' abilities and the possible outcome of situations. I remember Gohan telling me about the time Kakarot took his own sweet time returning to Earth when Frieza was headed there because he thought it would be nice for everyone else to have a chance to fight him. 

~Well, it would have been!~ Kakarot interrupts me somewhat indignantly, and I send a wave of affection his way as I throw the rest of my clothes haphazardly in my duffel bag. He snorts back, mentally waving at me to go away.

That optimism has affected our training as well. Three or four times over the course of the week, Kakarot has misjudged my ability to handle some attack or other, most frequently when he insisted on training with him when he was in Super Saiyan mode. Most of the time, I merely ended up severely injured and coughing blood in agony. Once I was completely knocked out and nearly died. Dende stepped in patiently each and every time and healed me.

Third time around I got really pissed off at Kakarot. "Look, I don't mind getting the shit kicked out of me. At least I'm learning something here. But fuck! I'm tired of swallowing my teeth!"

He had simply shook his head, and said nothing. I could feel through our bond that while he regretted causing me that kind of pain, he felt its usefulness outweighed the negatives. I had to sigh, and simply accept his judgement. If he thought it was good for me to be battered senseless every now and then, then he was probably right. I paid him back for it every night, though…

I can feel Kakarot flush heatedly through our bond, and I grin at him, deliberately remembering several choice images from our nights together: Kakarot on his back and screaming under my mouth, him licking the come from his lips like sweet cream, devouring each other hungrily behind a beaded curtain while Dende waited patiently, unaware of what we were doing.

~We need to go,~ he reminds me with a sigh, and I have to agree. The only thing that could make this better is Vegeta. Hell, the only thing that can make this _right_ is Vegeta. There's been a subtle sense of offness pervading the week, regardless of the good time. Kakarot and I both know it. Vegeta's had long enough to hide. I swing our bags over my shoulder, and head out to find Kakarot.

He and Dende are speaking quietly together in one of the innumerable gardens in the Lookout. Dende smiles at me sweetly as I approach, but Kakarot doesn't turn, simply waving his tail in greeting. I wind it around my knuckles briefly.

"Ready?" I ask, verbally in deference to the Namek. Kakarot nods, holding out his hand as I drop his bag into it neatly.

"Mmhmm. Dende, thank you so much for your hospitality," he says to our host, bowing his head respectfully.

"Yeah, thanks a lot," I add more casually. "Nice place you got here."

Dende smiles serenely taking one of my and Kakarot's hands in his and squeezing them gently. "You are both always welcome here," he assures us. "I wish you good luck on your endeavors with Vegeta. I will be watching with interest."

I raise an eyebrow at that, but Kakarot doesn't seem surprised by the last comment at all, so I shrug it off. "Well, see ya, Dende," I conclude, and Kakarot chimes in.

"Goodbye!" Wrapping our tails together, Kakarot does that touch-his-forehead thing, and all of a sudden we're standing outside of Capsule Corps. I love that little trick. Wonder if I can learn it?

~Ready?~ he asks, and I feel his nervousness.

~Just a sec.~ I eye him critically. He just wanted to wear his usual gi, but I convinced him that if we were seriously trying to court Vegeta, we should look our best. For him, this means a pair of snug, faded blue jeans - tight enough to show off his legs and ass, but not indecently so – a form fitting tank top in white, and a loose silk shirt in a rich indigo over the whole thing, unbuttoned. Kakarot always looks good in blue, something to do with that creamy skin, I guess. His hair is the usual array of wild spikes, but I think it lends something his charm, personally.

For me, it means a matching pair of jeans in black, and a sleeveless, silk, high-collared shirt in dark crimson. As much as I love the leather and mesh of that night I took the boys clubbing, it's far too aggressive. I _don't_ want to emphasize the whole I-bit-you-first thing, not today. This is going to take a careful touch, and I hope to all the Gods that me and Kakarot are up to it.

~Yeah, you look good,~ I conclude to my brother, and he smiles brilliantly at me.

~You, too. So Vegeta should know we're here now, right?~ I nod, and he looks over at the still silent building, taking a deep breath. ~Well, he isn't coming out to us. I guess we go in to him, huh?~

~Yeah. Let's do it.~

I lean against the doorframe as Kakarot rings the bell. I can hear the cheerful bonging echoing throughout the house, and we wait. And wait. Gods damn it, Vegeta knows we're here…he's just fucking with us. Gods, but he can be such an asshole sometimes. I'm about to raise my fist to knock when the door opens.

Trunks. Oh great, just what I need now. He regards me and Kakarot curiously, eyes flicking over us inscrutably. He looks…uncomfortable? Yeah, well, considering the last time I saw him…

"Is your dad here, Trunks?" Kakarot asks politely.

"Yeah, he's in the gravity chamber," the boy answers automatically. "But I'm not sure he wants to see you…or that you want to see him." Trunks drops his voice, as though he's worried his father can hear him from all the way across the house. "Um, he's been pretty…uh, grumpy, lately."

As he's talking, I see Trunks shuffle his feet somewhat restlessly, his head tipping back as he sniffs the air, unconsciously I think. What the hell is he doing? Then I remember…new tail. As if in response my thought, I see a flicker of black behind him. Funny, I thought he might have a lilac tail, like his hair. Or at least brown, like most Saiyans. Black fur is pretty rare.

"Oh, that's alright," Kakarot continues pleasantly. "He won't mind."

"Are you sure?" Trunks asks. "I mean, he's been kind of…well, he hasn't sounded too happy about the two of you, ever since he came back. What happened?" Before my brother can answer, Trunks frowns. "What is that _smell_? It's like…" He trails off, blushing suddenly.

Kakarot ignores the last little outburst, but I watch the boy's new tail flicker in agitation behind him. Heh. He didn't have his tail when he was going through puberty, did he? He must be feeling hypersensitive to everything, especially the scent of two mature Saiyan males who have been sexually active in the past 24 hours. Very deliberately, I snake my tail through the air, releasing a nice smattering of pheromones.

Kakarot's saying something vague about our time out in the woods, not really lying, he's not good at that, but then Trunks isn't really paying attention. I can see his fists clench as he bites down into his lower lip, his nostrils wide and almost panicked. Serves the little shit right. I cross my arms over my broad chest, and raise one eyebrow at him.

"So, you gonna let us in or what, kid?" I ask in a deliberately insulting drawl. He backs up a step automatically, then stops, irritated. He finally actually looks at me, and I can see the mixture of annoyance, lust, and guilt in his eyes. Yeah, you better feel guilty, you little cocktease. 

I step through the door, shouldering past him, and 'accidentally' smack him in the face with my tail. He gasps as I shoot a lazy glance over my shoulder at my brother. "Coming, Kakarot?" I invite, and my brother follows me, glancing down at Trunks curiously. He knows what happened between us, but has agreed to keep quiet about it, after _a lot_ of persuasion on my part.

As he passes Trunks, he stops suddenly, darting his hand out quickly and catching Trunks' length of soft ebon between his fingers. Slowly, he runs his fingers through the fur, addressing the boy in that clear, cheerful voice he always uses, as though he hasn't clue what touching another Saiyan's tail will do. 

"Oh, I almost forgot about the wishes! You got your tail back, too, Trunks, how great!" He winds the tail through his fingers sensually as he continues, "Black, too! I thought maybe yours might be the same red-brown as your dad's." 

Trunks stands there, his spine completely straight with his back to us. I can smell blood as his fingernails bite neat crescents into his palm. Finally relenting, Kakarot releases his tail with a chirpy, "Well, see you around, Trunks!"

~You son of a bitch!~ I send in admiration to my brother as we make our way through the endless white halls. ~That was really cruel! That boy is going to be going crazy with no one around to screw, now.~

~Yeah, well , he shouldn't have touched you,~ Kakarot sends back smugly, and I laugh, swinging an arm around his shoulders.

~You're more of a bastard than I gave you credit for,~ I admit ruefully. I guess I'm still capable of underestimating him, even with our bond.

~Only when it comes to family,~ he allows.

~You know your youngest has a huge crush on him?~ I ask curiously.

~Goten? Yeah, I had guessed. Well, if Vegeta can change, then his son can. Even if he's got Bulma's stubborn genes.~ I can hear the tenor ring of my brother's laughter in my head even though his lips only quirk upward in smallest of smiles.

~You're just full of surprises today,~ I remark, and he nods.

And now we're here. The door to the gravity room, silent and forbidding. I can't hear anything inside, and the little window is fogged with condensation. Kakarot and I exchange dark-eyed looks, but before we can knock, the door slides open with a low hiss.

And oh, shit, but Vegeta looks good, standing there glowering at us, sweat shining his golden skin, dripping from his hairline, and that majestic sweep of raven hair, lit with red. His black shorts cling to his legs in a positively obscene manner, and the sweat soaking his white muscle tee makes it almost see-through. I school my face into a neutral expression as his tail lashes the backs of his thighs in a blatantly seductive manner, regardless of the scowl on his handsome features.

"What do you two idiots want?" he snarls at us, and that delicious low voice…it's worse, because Kakarot is thinking the same thing, and we're reflecting the longing back at each other.

"You," we answer in unison. He raises his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest, not moving from the doorway.

"Well, I'm not available," he answers sniffily, and I frown down at him.

"At the very least we need to talk," I insist, and Kakarot nods.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about," Vegeta answers, looking away, and I want to growl in frustration. Why is he being such an ass about this?

"Well, there's _this_," I snarl, pushing my thumb under his chin to lift, exposing the still red and purple bruising of my claim marker. He pulls his head away from my hand angrily.

"Keep your hands _off_ me, Raditz," he warns in a hiss, but I'm to the point where I'm not really thinking, I'm just too angry. I figured he might try to deny what happened, but not like _this_. He isn't even addressing it! Gods! He drives me mad with his stubbornness!

"That's not what you were saying a week ago," I remind him, moving forward to stare down at him, emphasizing my height and the size difference between us.

"You arrogant _shit_," he snarls, and before I can move he throws me across the room. I slam into the wall of the gravity chamber in what should be a painful manner, but I don't fucking care. He is just too fucking much! I peel myself off the wall, and land in a crouch. He's moved back into the chamber, a few steps from the doorway. Kakarot stands behind him, frowning. I can feel the anger and confusion rolling off him in huge waves, a tsunami of chaotic emotion.

~You okay?~ he asks tersely.

~Not fucking likely! Gods, I _knew_ he was going to do this, why can't anything be easy with him?~

~Wouldn't be Vegeta if it was,~ Kakarot answers wryly, but I can't take comfort from his equanimity. He's pissed that Vegeta threw me, but he isn't surprised at our prince's behavior. He expected it, too. He's confused because he's not really sure what to do. Hell, I don't know what he should do, either.

"Don't get up, Raditz," Vegeta warns me, and his eyes are wide and feral. Very faintly, on the edge of my awareness, I can sense the anger from him, too. Anger, and…something else? Fear? Not possible.

In defiance, I stand, my muscles tense as I wait for the attack I know is going to come next. Even though I'm ready, he still moves too fast for me, and I get a boot in the face as my head rocks back with terrific force from his neat roundhouse kick. I taste my own blood in my mouth and suddenly everything is too much.

The rage has built up inside me until I have to release it with a scream, the sound pouring from me raw, ripped, and bloody. For a brief moment, I'm totally blinded with the emotion as I clench my fists at my side. Distantly I realize Vegeta has backed away, his mouth open, but I can't stop howling. The months of frustration, the poison jealousy at seeing my prince with my brother first, my absolute frustration at my inability to affect him the way I want to.

My vision snaps in again, but now everything seems washed out, overexposed, as though lit by too-bright sunlight. Vegeta's hair is a dark exclamation point, his eyes drowning deep in the too-white of his face as I step towards him. And even in the very heart of my wrath, he's impossibly beautiful, too perfect to be real.

I feel…strange. Too light, for one, as though I weigh nothing. Everything around me seems oddly slow, as though it's all underwater. I'm moving at normal speed, but nothing else is. It only adds to my rage, though, and I open my mouth again.

"_VEGETA! I am so sick of your stupid attitude, your holier-than-thou SHIT! Yeah, we marked you, so fucking what?! Are you completely fucking blind? What the fuck does it matter?_"

I can feel the venom welling up inside me, but I can't stop it spilling forth as I reach Vegeta, and haul him up by one fist clenched in his shirt. He tries to pry my fingers free, but for some unfathomable reason, he can't seem to. 

"_Guess what? Kakarot's stronger than you! Fucking live with it, you self-deluding asshole! He's fucking in love with you, and so am I, and that means you're damn lucky, and I'm sick of the way you treat him like he's a complete moron! You can bitch and moan to me as much as you want about how I don't deserve you, but don't you fucking DARE do that shit to my brother!_"

There's more, there's so much more, but I'm past words now, and all I can do is shake Vegeta like I would a small dog. He looks furious now, and suddenly I feel an incredibly heat and energy radiating from him as he flashes up into Super Saiyan, his hair suddenly bleeding a bleached-out gold. He fixes me with those tropical sea eyes, and I know I'm doomed now…but for some reason, he still can't pry my hands off him. Certainly, it's much harder for me to hang on, but it feels like…we're matched in strength? How can that be?

"Fuck you, Raditz," he spits at me, and I throw him to the ground in disgust, dropping him in a wide-legged sprawl. He snarls up at me like a rabid animal, and suddenly that gold aura around him is sparking, dancing and flickering with little arcs of blue electricity that I've never seen before.

"SHUT UP!" I roar at him, "_Just shut the fuck up!_" In complete and utter frustration I punch the resilient wall of the gravity room…and am left gaping in shock when the entire wall explodes outwards in a flurry of dust and shards of stone and metal. What the fuck?

I turn to look back at my brother, and catch a flicker of gold out of the corner of my eye. Is that…my hair? Before I can find out, Vegeta's fist comes flying out of nowhere and hits me right between the eyes. I don't remember anything for a long time after that.


	28. Twentyseven

I've always found it sort of embarrassing to wake up after having been knocked out. I don't know if it's because being unconscious means you've either lost a fight or done something really stupid, or if it just has to do with the fact that everyone looks like such an idiot when they first return to consciousness: blinking dumbly and asking where they hell they are.

I'm no different; everything is hazy as I stare stupidly at the white stippled ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell happened, and why I'm lying in bed. I bring my hand up to my chest slowly…nope, still dressed at least. My fingers trail lower, across the smooth silk of my shirt; I can't remember why I'm wearing it, and my best pair of jeans. Something to do with…Vegeta?

I hear the door open, and turn my head slowly, wincing as the room lurches suddenly and a sharp pain spikes through my temple. It's Kakarot standing in the doorway. Funny, he's a bit dressed up, too. Blue. Always looked so good on him, even when we were kids. Kids? Wait, I never grew up with Kakarot, he was sent to Earth when he was just a baby…who am I thinking of?

Not Vegeta. He looks good in dark indigo as well, but then he looks good in anything. Always did. I realize that my brother is just standing in the doorway, staring at me, and I frown at him. "Well, Kakarot. You gonna tell me what happened?"

~Bit disoriented, huh?~ he asks, and I nod, attempting to sit up. The room spins wildly, and I lean over, clutching at my head, hearing the answering yelp of pain from Kakarot.

"Always am, if I've been knocked out…who…?"

"Vegeta," he answers verbally, shutting down our link a bit and approaching the bed.

"Because…" the pain slowly subsides, as long as I stay very, very still. "Because I was…was I yelling at him?"

"Yup," Kakarot answers cheerfully, perching on the edge of the bed. The shifting aggravates my headache, and I squeeze my eyes shut until everything decides to stop circling.

"Shit. Why didn't you stop me?" I ease my eyes open again, to stare into a pair of dark orbs just like my own.

"Oh, I dunno. You looked like you were having fun there," my brothers grins at me, and I want to whack him one. I manage a weak smack on the back of his head, but I pay for it with another stab at my temples.

"Why does my head hurt so much?" I ask quietly, subdued for the moment.

"Oh, I think that was the fact that you went super Saiyan at the end there."

"WHAT!?" Wow, it's amazing how loud my own voice sounds in my head, especially when it's echoing off the walls of my skull. Still, I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Yeah. It was pretty impressive. I knew all those spars at the Lookout were making you stronger, but I didn't think you were ready to go super yet. We were all a little…surprised." Kakarot tilts his head to the side, like a dog, as I process this information.

"So I…shit! How come I didn't…?" I rub at my temples wearily, black hair tangling around my fingers. "Damn. I don't really remember…well, sort of. I thought you had to be really angry to go super, though? Like…well, you had been fighting Frieza, and he had killed Krillin, right? And Vegeta did this crazy training, and then sort of snapped mentally, stopped caring, or something like that. So what about me?"

Kakarot can't suppress a snicker. "Yeah, well, that's the way it works. I guess you didn't need anybody to die or anything. Vegeta's enough all on his own to piss you off enough."

I contemplate that dazedly. "Wonder if I can do it again?"

"Yeah, with practice, it shouldn't be a problem." Kakarot shrugs. "And we'll make sure you get plenty of that."

He's taking it far more casually than I can. Me, going super Saiyan? It's too strange, too off with my own self-image. I mean, I know I'm still nowhere near Kakarot or Vegeta's power level…but to most Saiyans, the concept of Super Saiyan is a myth, an unobtainable goal. I've always known I was strong…stronger than most Saiyans, strong enough to become one of the royal guard. But to become a super Saiyan? The concept is foreign, utterly strange and inexplicable.

"Yeah…" I mutter softly, and Kakarot rests his hands on my shoulders, wrapping his tail around my waist.

"I guess our family is just destined for greatness," he offers with a small grin, and I look up at him, returning his smile.

"Guess so. It's just…well, it's going to take me awhile to get used to it." I glance around at the unfamiliar settings and frown. My brother answers my unspoken question.

"Yeah, we're still at Capsule Corps. After knocking you out, Vegeta said he needed time to think about things, but that we could stay. He took off."

I have to smile. "He actually admitted that he needed to think about something? What, is he getting soft in his old age?" Kakarot grins, and he sends a wave of affection and amusement my way before his face turns suddenly serious.

"Do you really still want to do this, Raditz? I mean, it's not like he's going to change. Vegeta's always been stand-offish, even with Trunks." I consider it very carefully, and realize I haven't up until now. I've always seen it as a part of me, my dedication to my prince, my need for him. Can I really leave him behind, break off this relationship?

"Yeah," I answer slowly, "I do still want to do this. You're right, Vegeta can be a real pain in the ass, and somehow I doubt I'll ever get a declaration of undying love from him. But there's more to it than that…" I'm not sure how to express it in words, so I open myself up to my brother, let him see the pure complexity of emotions that Vegeta elicits from me.

Passion…the man is so passionate it's overwhelming, when he lets anyone see it. The depth of his emotions is staggering at times. His dedication to be stronger, his complete willingness to push himself harder than anyone, his strength of will are simply stunning. Yeah, he's a pain in the ass. But hell, I kind of like that. I don't think I would do well with someone who was easy going, not a challenge. There's a perversity in me that loves the thought of having to push, every day having to work to prove myself. I like the relaxed relationship between myself and my brother, but I crave Vegeta's touch, the speculative look in his eye when I surprise him with something, the lust he tries to hide.

"Do you understand?" I ask Kakarot quietly, and he nods slowly.

"I do. Vegeta is…well, he's worth waiting for." It's my turn to nod; he's gotten it perfectly. "Well, enough of all this serious stuff! I'm gonna go see if I can beg some food out of Bulma. You want to come with?"

I'm definitely hungry…but I can still feel a suspicious throbbing in my head, waiting for me to make any sudden moves. "Nah…give me a few minutes, Kakarot. I'll catch up with you." He stands up, lightly stroking my face with his tail.

"Okay. See you in a bit!"

I manage to sit, swing my legs over the edge of the bed, but I have to just sit there for awhile, letting my head clear. Damn, if it's this much of a headache to go super, I'm not sure I _want_ to do it again! Then I have to snicker to myself…who the hell am I kidding? Of _course_ I want to do it again, right now, if possible. I snort and I pull myself to my feet then stand there swaying for a bit.

I have to use to wall to lean on to make it to the door, but that's okay, because my head is finally clearing a bit as I make it there. Everything still seems a little off balance, and occasional pain like a band of hot iron around my skull makes me wince, but it's not as bad as when I first woke up. Regained consciousness. Whatever.

I can feel his ki before he comes into the room, so Trunks suddenly sticking his purple head in the door isn't a surprise. Much. Still, I blink at him for a few moments as he looks over at the bed, frowns, then scans right and finds me right next to the door.

"Raditz," he yelps, and my grin is cut off as another hit of pain reminds me why I don't like loud voices.

"Keep it down, kid," I grumble at him, and it's really like a hangover, isn't it? The pain in my head. He gapes at me a second, then nods tightly.

"Uh, yeah…are you-are you okay?"

"What do you think?" I sigh, rolling my eyes. Gods, sometimes I really hate teenagers.

"Uh, I didn't know. That's why I was asking." I catch a flash of irritation from him in his eyes, and I gather no one filled him in on what happened. Good, it's none of his damn business. Little snot's been going super since he was little, doubt he's ever felt like _this_.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What do you want?" I'm still leaning heavily into the wall, and he enters the anonymous room cautiously. I wonder distantly how the Briefs keep track of all these rooms…like some gods-damned hotel.

"I, ah, I was hoping I could talk to you?" His voice is hesitant.

"Uncertainty doesn't suit you, kid," I point out, and the irritation is back, stronger.

"Quit calling me kid!" he barks, and I wince again. Yeah, there it is, his dad is coming out in his voice again. And maybe his mom. I've heard stories.

"Whatever. Look, just…what did you want to talk about?" Is he going to apologize? How fucking trite. Of course, I find it much easier to contemplate forgiveness now that I'm (hopefully) soon to be fucking his father's brains out…

"Just…uh. I feel kind of weird about what happened before you left. You know?"

"_You_ feel weird? Shit, you got a blow job out of the whole thing…I was the one left with a set of smashed ribs, a punctured lung, and a raging hard-on." He stares at me, still standing in the doorway. Not used to that kind of blunt talk, I guess. All these humans, wanting to be so damn _polite_ about everything.

But he recovers quickly…he is Vegeta's son, after all. "Yeah. Okay. So I'm sorry about that." His voice is sullen, childish…like a boy who's mother is making him do something he really doesn't want to.

"Who put you up to this?" I ask him dryly, and he frowns.

"What?"

"Who put you up to this? You look like you just swallowed something nasty, try maybe for more sincerity next time?" I grin lopsidedly at him, and he snarls.

"Look, Raditz, I really _am_ sorry, and nobody put me up to anything, but if you're going to be _that_ way about it…" I can't help it, I have to laugh. He stares at me, outraged for ruining his little moment, and my tail waves in delight behind me. Damn, but sometimes it's fun to fuck with people. I guess he was doing this on his own after all. Will wonders never cease? A spawn of Vegeta's loins _apologizing_…must be the human blood. I wave a hand at him dismissively.

"Shit, kid, it's okay…a lot of us Saiyans have had little accidents when we were you-" I cut myself off as I see the look he's suddenly giving me. He's gone from anger to thoughtfulness in about two seconds flat, and that new black tail is lashing behind him…belatedly, I realize that when I uncurled my tail to laugh, I must have started putting out musk again. 

"You listening?" I ask him lightly.

"Mmmm…" he answers, his eyes definitely not on my face. No, they're roaming down my chest and heading lower. I have to fight the urge to preen, and prudently re-wrap my tail.

"Trunks!" I bark, and he looks up startled.

"Oh, man, sorry," he mutters. It's really, really tempting to have some more fun with him, make him pay just a little bit more, but a couple of things stop me. One, he did come here to try and make amends. That counts for a lot, that he could actually admit he was wrong. Means the kid isn't quite as immature as I gave him credit for. Two, it just is a bad idea all around to tease a Saiyan in heat. Especially when that Saiyan is stronger than you, and you're alone with him.

Trunks continues, pushing his hair out of his face in a little helpless gesture. His tail is waving, unrestrained, behind him in agitation. "I've just been feeling really weird the last week or so…since I got the tail. I mean, first it was the balance thing, and now…"

"Didn't your dad tell you what was going on?" I ask in some surprise.

"Uh…I was too embarrassed to ask him," he admits, his twilight eyes fixed on the floor. 

"Shit," I snort, crossing my arms over my chest and glancing out sightlessly into the empty hallway as I think. I'm not sure I want to do Trunks any favors, but maybe…I glance over at him again, assessing.

He's still got his head down, that strange lilac falling down around his olive-gold skin. Well built, short, though not as short as Vegeta, and those amazing eyes. Yeah, he's definitely a pretty package, and not as much of an asshole as I thought a few weeks ago. And doubtless my nephew's going crazy, too…

"Have you seen Goten lately?" I ask abruptly, and he looks up at me, puzzled.

"Not for a few weeks, actually."

"Why not?"

"Well, he's been…well, he's sounded a little stand-offish on the phone. I think it has something to do with his mom and dad breaking up…from what I heard, Chi-Chi's not in good shape. She doesn't like me all that much, so I thought maybe it was better to stay out of her hair…" He's still frowning, thinking about it now. "Why, do you think I should go see him?"

I nod. "Don't you think he needs a good friend around right now?" I ask bluntly, and he nods.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't think about it that way…okay. So, uh, are we cool here?" He's got some of his hesitancy back, but I can see more of his usual brashness behind his eyes. Guess me not reaming him a new one has convinced him I'm gonna let things lie.

"Yeah. Do me a favor?"

He nods eagerly, relieved to be done with this awkwardness, and I gotta admit I'm glad, too. I guess I don't do grudges that well. At least not with one of the few remaining Saiyans…and…well, hell. I realize something abruptly…if things work out with Vegeta, and I'll damned if I don't make sure they do, then Trunks will be my bond-son. Not unusual on Vegeta-sei, we Saiyans are a rather promiscuous race, after all, but I wonder if they have anything like that around here? All the people I know except Kakarot are with their original spouses…

He's still staring at me expectantly, and I finish my interrupted request. "Find Kakarot and send him up here?"

I don't tell him why…I'm kind of sick of admitting my ignorance to this kid, but I'll be damned if I can find my way downstairs through this labyrinth without help. "Sure, Raditz!" he answers, and disappears down the hall.

Damn, but wouldn't I like to be a fly on _that_ wall when Trunks goes to see Goten…the thought pulls a long laugh from me, and I remind myself to give my nephew a call tonight to check on him. Hmm, two boys in the full throws of adolescence and with new tails…nope, better make that tomorrow.


End file.
